A New Beginning
by Lady in the Corner
Summary: If Claire had not gone to fight alongside Zieg that day in Neet, could she have changed the course of Fate?
1. A Mother and Wife's Decision

"Please, you can't go! It's already too late!" She tugged at her husband's hand, as if that could stop him. But he was taller and stronger than she was, and if he really meant to go, there was no way she could stop him.

He really meant to go.

Her husband smiled at her, disengaged his hand from hers easily, and kissed her forehead. "It'll be all right, love. I have to try anyway."

She slid her arms around him, knowing that this would be the last time she would be able to hold him in her arms. Why did he have to be so stubbornly noble? It was impossible to help them now, but still he wanted to go back! The same honor that had drawn her to him now ripped him from her arms.

He knelt down and ruffled the flaxen hair of their son before hugging the child. "Grow strong, kiddo." 

"Get him out of here." He told her, and then ran down the dirt-paved pathway, back to the village.

She held her son's hand tightly, watching as her beloved husband raced back into the inferno. The Black Monster was a dark mist hovering above the houses, omnipotent and indestructible. 

When her husband's body disappeared out of her sight, through the flames, she almost cried out. But she couldn't give away their location to the Black Monster. She had a son to protect. 

She sat shaking on the ground, pulling her son into her lap. How she wanted to put the child aside, tell him to run, and then go back to Neet to help her beloved to fight! She was a strong fighter; it was possible that with the two of them they could defeat the Black Monster. She wanted to help so badly…

All her life she had never been able to rise to the best. Every time she felt elated with a sense of satisfaction, her father had destroyed it with criticism. 

She screamed in her mind because she couldn't with her throat. 

She gently lifted her son to his feet, put him by the bushes. She wiped imaginary tears from her eyes and the real ones from his, and embraced her five-year-old son. "Son, I want you to run as far away from here as you can, do you understand?"

"Where are you going, Mama?"

"I have to help your father. Run somewhere, child, and be safe. Remember your honor."

Only a child at the time, he knew only to nod. 

She kissed the top of his head and swiftly made her way down the same dirt path. 

__

Gods, I'm sorry, little one. But I have to help your father. I love him so much, and I have to protect him, even if it means you'll grow up without parents.

The impact of her thoughts struck her physically, so that she froze in her steps in the middle of the path. 

__

Grow up without parents.

Her own mother had died in childbirth with her. Her father had been devastated with that, but he had loved his young daughter. Up to until five or six, she had no mother but she had a loving father that would sit her on his lap and sing silly songs with her.

But after those early years, it was as if that kind and loving man had disappeared, leaving behind an empty shell of cold hardness. Training for hours upon hours on an end was an everyday routine. He trained her so roughly to be a fighter. Every little thing she did he was there to criticize and correct. Nothing she ever did was good enough for him once he had started to teach her. Her martial arts master was no longer her father anymore.

She had grown up without parents. 

And it had burned her for life. 

She couldn't do that to Dart.

Regretting it both ways, she walked back up the dirt path. Her son, despite her orders, was still standing where she had left him. She cradled him in her arms. 

__

Husband, I'm sorry. Either way, I'm losing something. I don't think I can save you. But I know I can save our son. Forgive me, love.

"Mama?" the boy whispered. "I'm sorry I didn't run."

"It's okay, sweetheart. I'm sorry I ran."

Hiding in the overgrown weeds, with her chin tucked on top of her son's head, Claire began to cry.


	2. Entry One: A New Beginning

"Mom Diary ~  __

How long has it been since I've kept a diary? I think the last time I had one was when I was nine years old. It was bound in red leather and had a star carved on the front, but I remember that Father said I shouldn't waste my time on writing silly fantasies. He said if I had free time, I should use it to train. I remember wondering why did he keep pushing me to be a strong warrior if I never got to use my skills.

It's been five years since Zieg's death. I know he has died because I can't feel him anymore, and because the Black Monster is still alive, the damned creature. When the screams had faded and the darkness seemed to disappear, I walked back to my home, holding my son's hand. The entire village was in ashes and destruction. It pained me to have to look. 

Search as we may, we couldn't find Zieg's body. He must have been personally destroyed by the Black Monster. I don't want to think about how. But we did find his necklace, with the shining red pendant. He never took this necklace off. I held it in my hands for such a long time before placing it around Dart's neck. 

I took Dart and we fled to Mille Seseau at first, but still I felt so afraid, so we boarded a ship to Serdio. We live now in a small, quiet village, Seles. I still feel so frightened and sad and cornered, but I have been learning how to calm myself. 

Dart has made many friends, especially with a little girl named Shana, five years younger than him. She is a very sweet child, pretty, and so polite to me. I can see the way she adores Dart, and I have to smile. It's been a while since a real smile. I can never forget Neet.

I myself have made acquaintances with the Seles villagers. I know I strike them as a bit strange, a single mother who won't speak of the past, who sharpens knives and practices fighting instead of cooking. Of course, I am not a bad mother, or at least I don't think so. Dart never complains of anything, and though I teach him how to fight, I am nothing like my father. Anyway, one of the village women, Shana's mother, the wife of the mayor, has persuaded me to write the diary. She said that perhaps it can take away some of the sadness on my face. I am getting worry creases around my eyes and mouth. I can't stop worrying, can't stop being scared. Father said never to be scared, but I can't help it. Every time I close my eyes, I see Zieg running back to Neet, see the Black Monster hovering over the town. 

Dart has grown into a fine young man. He'll be eleven in a couple of months. The people here all love him for his charm, honesty, and courage. They tell me I have raised a fine son. Even though I teach him how to use his fists, and the Rouge arts, he prefers the sword. He has found a sword master here, Tasman, who teaches him in payment of a few favors once in a while, like cleaning his house or watching it when he is gone on his frequent journeys. I am only too happy to oblige if it means that Dart can have a good male role model, and a warm teacher to teach him many things. Seles is such a nice town, a lot like Neet.

I cannot write anymore. If I do, I will cry, and Father said never to cry. It shows weakness, and I am not weak.


	3. Entry Two: Departure

Diary ~  __

Diary ~ 

It is now years later. I am not the sort of person that finds the need to write down her thoughts every day, only when there is something to say. 

I have told Dart all I can about his father, about what happened that night in Neet. He remembers some things but not all. I was surprised when suddenly he came into the kitchen yesterday.

"Mom?" He called me as I was cutting up vegetables. Despite Father's training, I think I fit better being a wife and mother than being a fighter. I wonder if Father would be furious to see this.

"Yes, Dart? Is something wrong?" I didn't look up; I was behind schedule. The memory of my father brings pain to me but his teachings had made sense, most of them anyway, and routine was part of it. I didn't like running out of time. 

"Sort of. Mom, what was my father like? He didn't die naturally, did he?"

I cut myself with the knife then, I was so surprised. I write now with a pain in my hand. I put away the vegetables and sighed, sitting the both of us down at the kitchen table. For the first time in a while I really stared at my son, analyzing him. Dart was now eighteen, too strong for a child his age, in fact stronger. He would be the warrior that my father had always hoped for. Dart had many good characteristics: bravery, honesty, wit, chivalry, and sometimes a hotheaded temper but that was forgivable. I admired my own son because he was the end product of many dreams. He was smarter than I had though too, or else he would not be asking me this now.

I told him about Neet, about his father, about the Black Monster. It was a mistake. He flew into a cold rage and declared that he was going to find the Black Monster. He shocked me so much, my son had grown into a man before my very eyes without my knowing. But could he survive out there by himself?

I begged him to stay, tried to convince him that as his mother, I couldn't let him do something like this. But etiquette did state that one could avenge one's family. I cried again. 

He said goodbye to his master, who assured me that Dart was ready. He said goodbye to Shana, who wept and wailed and clung to him until her father pried her off. She promised she would wait until he came back. He said goodbye to all his friends, but he did not say goodbye to me, his mother.

Instead he merely came up and hugged me.

And as he packed supplies and purchased a new sword and ran off, I was suddenly so reminded of Zieg again. He was just like his father. He even looks like a replica of Zieg; sometimes it makes me sad just by looking at him. And the necklace around his neck, with the strange pendant. Dart never took that off either. He brought it with him as he set off.

So now my son is out in the world, away from me, and I am here in Seles, alone. I think the only person as heartbroken as I am is Shana. The girl, now thirteen, really loves Dart. So young and yet she already knows that she loves him. This sort of childhood sweetheart story exists only in fantasies and yet for her fantasy may yet become reality.

But not for me.

I think I will care for Shana. Her parents, as the mayors of Seles, are often busy. Shana is Dart's good friend, and I have no child to watch over now, feeling so empty and alone and torn. I have too much time, and I cannot train like my father would wish me to; the villagers would find it too odd, and I would like to keep some friends among them. So I have decided that I will take care of Shana, and we will wait for my son Dart to return, together. 


	4. Entry Three: Return to me

Diary ~  __

Diary ~ 

Gods above, now five years later, my son is home!

Today was a day to remember and not just because of Dart's return. The Sandorans invaded Seles today. I fought tooth and nail to protect the town but they were too great in number. Many of the townspeople ended up dead. I screamed as I watched them slaughtered. Half of them must have died. I was lucky. I only ended up with a broken arm, a twisted ankle, various cuts, and a split lip, but they took Shana.

Shana had grown into such a beautiful and sweet young woman, good with a bow and arrow, with an illuminating soul. She was special and kind and she always helped others, so inquisitive as well. She missed Dart every day and I came to love her as the daughter I would never have.

And those bastard Sandorans took her from me as I laid on the ground, twisting in pain. 

The war had been going on for twenty years now, but had never affected Seles so much. There was word that they had a DRAGON with them. A dragon! From the Dragon Campaign? Zieg had studied the Dragon Campaign with a feverish passion, and I had learned a few things about it. But I am not sure if I can believe that a Dragon is here now. But the frightening roars from the forests were not made by anything I knew.

After they had taken Shana away in a cart, the rest of the soldiers stayed to terrorize the people and take whatever had worth. These bastards, not only do they take my Shana, they wish to rob the town as well? Unforgivable! 

I pulled myself to my feet, using several potions until the only injuries was the split lip, a few cuts and a body that was entirely sore. But I managed to fight again.

But I was losing. I wasn't fully healed and they outnumbered me at least twelve to one.

But then he showed up. For a moment I thought it was Zieg, returning. But then I saw the slanted nose, and my pale skin, and then I knew that my son Dart had come back.

Without a word, he batted the soldiers away from me, knocking all of them out in a matter of a few minutes. 

When the Sandorans were out, Dart walked up to me. "Mom?"

He had grown taller than I by a head, and he was so strong now. He had taken the soldiers without a problem, and I test his arms. He is lean but muscular, a runner, a fighter. He has grown even stronger than I thought he would, and there is now so much wisdom in his eyes as well. "Look at you! I could hardly recognize you. I'm surprised you could recognize me."

He traced the outline of my mouth, the new worry lines. But the gods had been kind; they allowed me to keep my beauty, though I must be over forty by now. "You look the same, Mom. You're still beautiful." He smiled, but then it faded. "What happened here?" 

I grimaced. "The Sandorans attacked. They have Shana."

Dart's face changed. "Where?"

"Hellena Prison."

He started off, but I grabbed his arm. "I'm coming with you."

"No you're not, Mother." He only called me that when he was upset. "You're hurt."

"But I can still fight. I used to be a good fighter in my youth."

"I know you were. And you still are. But you're injured."

"I'm only bruised. By the time we catch up to them, I'll be fine. I'm coming with you no matter what."

I write this now as we rest. I am so glad to have my son home! He tells me of his journeys. He had not found the Black Monster, but he has learned a lot. I tell him of what has happened in Seles, and of the rumors about the war. But he only frowns and stays silent.


	5. Hellena Prison

Hellena Prison

Hellena Prison

Dart couldn't persuade his mother to remain outside. Claire insisted on coming with him, and he hadn't the time to argue. Besides, it would be nice to having a fighting companion, and he hadn't seen his mother for five years. 

Hellena Prison was a maze of stinking corridors and endless rooms filled with wails of torture. By sheer dumb luck, they had stumbled into an escapee. 

Claire recognized the emblem on his tunic as a knight of Basil and shoved a Sandoran away from him, down an abyss in the middle of the room. Fruegal, who ran the prison, had a twisted sense of humor. 

Dart took care of two other soldiers, but it seemed that the Knight was perfectly capable of protecting himself with his lance. He turned the point towards Dart. 

"Who are you? On whose side do you stand?" the knight growled.

Claire walked forward calmly. "We stand on the side of Basil." She said, at the same time Dart said, "On the side that is right."

"We came here to rescue a friend of ours." Dart told the knight. "My name is Dart. This is my mother Claire."

The knight put his lance away. "I am Lavitz, leader of the first knighthood of the duchy of Basil, serving King Albert. I am escaping as well. Perhaps I can help you find your friend. What does he look like?"

"She. Her name is Shana." Claire interrupted Dart, knowing that he couldn't give a five-year-outdated description of Shana. The girl had changed greatly since her son had last saw her. "She has brown hair, and brown eyes. She has a sweet voice and a kind heart. She's young and hasn't been here long."

The knight nodded. "There aren't many women in here, and certainly not young ones. I heard someone humming as I was running from my cell. It was definitely a girl, and she had a sweet voice. And she must be new, or else she wouldn't be humming. This way."

They followed him to a cell with two downed guards. "I was wondering why they guarded this girl so particularly, but they were in my way, so I had to knock them out." Lavitz explained. "She's in there."

Claire ran to the small squared barred hole in the door. "Shana?"

A small shape in the corner of the room uncoiled itself and ran to the door. "Claire? Is that you?" It was definitely Shana, with teary eyes and hope in her voice. 

"Yes, Shana, it's me. Stand back. We'll get you out, okay, sweetheart?"

Her light footsteps backed away as Dart hacked away the lock on the door, opening it easily. "Shana? It's me, Dart. Remember me?"

__

How could she forget you, son? She asked me everyday if I received a letter from you. I wondered the same thing, but you never wrote. Do you know how worried I was?

Shana emerged from the darkened cell into the light, squinting at the sudden brightness.

Claire could feel her son's surprise. Shana had grown from a giggling little thirteen-year-old into a fully bloomed eighteen-year-old, petite, with smooth skin and innocent brown eyes. Claire wondered if her son still saw Shana as a little sister. 

"Claire, I was scared." Shana ran forward to grasp her hand. "Everything was so dark and I couldn't figure out what was going on." She paused, staring at Dart for a long while. She tilted her head, walked up to him. "Dart?" She asked quietly.

"Hi, Shana."

"Gods!" She flung her arms around his neck. "Why didn't you ever write home in five years? Claire and I were so worried! I thought about you everyday!" 

Lavitz smiled as Dart pried her off. "Um, okay. We have to get out of here, and then you can tell me everything, okay? Just stay behind me."

"No." Shana lifted her head high. "I can fight too." She picks up the bow and arrow by the door.

"Good girl." Claire praised her. "Never give up."

Dart looked dismayed. "Are you sure you can do this?"

"I'm not a child anymore, Dart. I've grown up, and I've learned how to fight."

"Argue about this later, you two." Lavitz said, nervously. "But let's get out of here first."

"Not so fast! You're not going anywhere!" It was not difficult for them to locate the owner of the voice as an obese man in bronze armor, the warden of Hellena Prison, Fruegal. Besides him were several soldiers, all completely armed.

"Run!" Claire hissed to them. "There's too many of them! This way!"

The small party, now numbered four, turned and ran down the corridors. Claire ignored the sounds of the prisoners cheering for them, trying to reach out of the cells to grab the soldiers and stop them. She was suddenly very thankful of all the running practice her father had given her. Shana was just as fast, lean and petite. The two males were slightly slower but managed to stay ahead of the warden and his soldiers as they reach the exit.

The drawbridge was rising.

"Jump!" Lavitz yelled. 

Dart reached out for Shana's hand; she took it and they leapt the drawbridge together, tumbling onto the solid ground outside. Lavitz followed them with some difficulty, and Claire had to push herself off the rising wood, jumping, flying…

A foot too short. 

She latched her fingers onto the lip of the jagged rocks to avoid falling into the raging ocean and being swept away by the currents. Pain flared in her arms as she held on, trying to pull herself up.

Gods, I'm getting old. There was a time I could have done that without any trouble.

"Mom!" Dart's face appeared in her sight, and he and Shana grabbed hold of her arms, pulling her up.

"Gods, Claire, are you all right?" Shana asked anxiously, probing the older woman's arms and legs for injuries. While Dart was gone, Shana had been very interested in medical studies. 

"I'm okay." Claire gasped. "Just a bit winded, that's all. I haven't been training lately."

"It'll take them some time to get the drawbridge back down again. Let's go before then. We should head to Bale." Lavitz suggested. "I have to deliver reports to King Albert, and you will be safe there. It is not safe to go back to wherever you came from. It's better if we stay together anyway."

"Mom?" Dart looked at her.

Claire shook her head. "Your decision. You're the leader here."

He frowned but nodded. "We'll go with you, Lavitz."

"Great. This way."


	6. Entry Four: New Power

Diary ~  __

Diary ~ 

Gods above, it is like my world has been turned upside down. 

We traveled with Lavitz through the Prarie to get to Bale, the capital of Basil. Fruegal's soldiers are still following us, and the pace was fast. It was tiring for me, but still it gave me a thrill. I loved a challenge, I realized.

But an arrow pierced Lavitz's leg, and Dart and Shana had to help him limp along ahead of the soldiers. We discovered a small shack off a hidden trail, and lost the Sandorans. There, Shana tended to the knight's wounds, and we rested for a while. 

"Dart, how did you get to Seles?" Shana asked him, and Dart explained.

"I was returning from my quest and was chased by a Dragon—"

"Then the rumor about the Dragon is true!" I exclaimed before I could stop. Oh Zieg, if only you could hear this! You used to love the Dragon Campaign so much; you studied it whenever you had a chance. 

"Yeah, Mom. Anyway, I was running from the Dragon. I was overwhelmed, and I was sure that I could not escape from it. But…a passing warrior saved me. That is the reason I am still alive. The Dragon would have killed me."

"The Dragon is advancing faster than we thought." Lavitz murmurs. "I must warn the king. We have to do something or it will be too late!"

There was a silence for a moment before Shana asked Dart what had happened the past five years, and my son explained about the Black Monster. Lavitz asked why he pursued the Black Monster, and then the look on Dart's face was so terrible…he looked so angry and hurt at the same time.

"The Black Monster killed my father." He said coldly, and he lifts the pendant out of his tunic. The stone is still shining as brightly as I remember. "This is the momento that my father left me. It is all I have left of him." He takes a deep breath. "I had two homes. One was in Seles with Shana and my mom. The other was…"

"The town you were born in was called Neet." I told my son in a quiet voice. "It was a small quaint town in the northern continent, cold but homely. Your father was still alive then, until the Black Monster attacked. We all fled, but your father insisted on going back to help the survivors, if there were any. He was so brave… And then I…" I put my hands over my face, unable to go on or I would cry.

Shana puts her arm around my shoulders. "Let us not speak of this topic anymore. It is upsetting Claire."

I am so glad that Shana is here. She is truly like a daughter and I wonder if Dart will stop looking at her as a baby sister. I hope so, but I will not try to throw them together. It would be unfair.

When we were sure there were no Sandorans around, Lavitz led the way again, limping only slightly through the Limestone Caves. It was dank and reeked of oldness in there, and I shuddered as we came upon a small waterfall. If I had fallen…

But it was Lavitz that slipped on the rocks, due to his injured leg. Dart caught his sleeve with one hand and dragged him up. I watched as the knight thanked my son and saw a sure friendship.

The next part was confusing. As we neared the exit to the cave, a monster attacked. A giant snake, at least fifteen times my height. A terrible monster as well, with deadly fangs and a terrible grip.

It felt good to fight again, to feel living impact on my fists and kicks. It was not as if I had never trained against the monsters in the forest, but they had been easy. This monster here, this giant snake, presented me with a challenge that I hungered for. I could feel myself smiling as I fought, as I watched Dart and Lavitz and Shana fight. 

Dart had grown so much stronger since I last saw him, with graceful addition strategies and a mind that did not depend solely on brute strength. Lavitz fought with a well-carved lance, jabbing in all the right places. And Shana's aim I had helped her to perfect over five years. She was not the strongest fighter by far, but she tried and she helped, though mostly she acted as a healer. 

When the snake fell, we ignored its stench and walked by it, Shana trailing behind. I remember thinking that the battle must have wearied her. But as she passed the snake, it rose again, and its fanged mouth dove towards her.

"Shana!" Maybe it was Dart's voice or mine, but suddenly both of us, and Lavitz, were running toward her.

And then the strangest thing happened.

Shana began to glow, like a star emitting its own light, a pale blue like the silk that hemmed her clothes. This starlight became solid, striking the snake before the snake could strike her. It was a force that killed the snake instantly.

"Shana?" I had stopped running, standing still.

"Claire. Dart, what's happening to me?" She wavered, and fainted.

My son caught her before she could hit the ground, and carried her out of the cave. Lavitz and I followed silently. 

What had happened to Shana? How did that sweet but weak little girl end up having so much power, and what kind of power was that? 


	7. Entry Five: Bale

Diary ~  __

Diary ~ 

Bale is the sort of town that makes a woman like me stop and gasp. It is a beautiful peaceful town, with music piping out of the inns and smoke coming out of the chimneys. No one could tell that this was the capital of a war-ridden city. Indels Castle was in the distance, beautifully built, like the rest of these houses. 

Lavitz led us into the castle. The knights there saluted him and let us pass by without a single questioning glance. Lavitz must be well-loved and well-respected in Bale. When I said this to him, he ducked his head modestly and said that yes, he is a great knight here, and he followed in the footsteps of his deceased father, another great knight. 

King Albert knows him as a friend, for he came down off his throne and embraced him, congratulating him on his escape from Hellena, and declaring unabashedly that he was glad he was safe. 

The king is much younger than I had expected him to be. The rumors had all said that he was young, but I never knew that he could not be more than twenty-five. He has a clear look in his eyes, no deviousness at all. I respect that. This is a king that I will serve loyally because I can sense his soul and it is clean.

The king introduced an old man with a gray beard as Minster Noish, one of his chief advisors. The old man offered to explain any questions about anything we might have; he reads many books.

To my surprise, Dart asked about the Black Monster.

Also to my surprise, the minister knows the full story. He quoted the prophecy: "Every one hundred eight years, the Moon Child will descend upon the earth to give the land a holy blessing." And he continued, "But every one hundred eight years, the Black Monster appears as well, to kill the Moon Child and keep the earth from being blessed with eternal happiness and bliss. The Black Monster cannot stand something being so pure, so he destroys the Moon Child".

I rubbed the back of my neck wearily. Dart, after being my son for years, knew that this is a sign that I am tired and uncomfortable. He stopped the questioning immediately. Such an obedient son, not like Mariya's son, who defies her whenever he can.

"You are welcome to stand on that balcony and observe the city." Lavitz offered later on. "I have some things that I wish to discuss with the king. Please excuse me."

Shana and Dart automatically moved toward the balcony, but I was frozen in place, staring at one of the king's advisors. Not Noish, another one, with his face hidden under a black hood, and his body hidden behind a shapeless black cloak. There was something about that person; his aura was different, almost wrong, but not quite. He stared back at me fathomlessly; I shiver.

"Mom?" Dart took my hand. "Are you all right?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine." I let myself be led to the balcony, but the man in black stayed in my memory for a while. "There's something strange about that man, Dart."

"Mom, you're tired. Maybe you need a rest."

I had gotten ready to protest, saying not to dismiss me like that, but then I realized he might be right, so I ignored the man in black and stared at the city.

Such a nice city Bale is! Perhaps Dart and I, and Shana, can move here to live! It is so peaceful and gives me a sense of warmth. 

Why am I describing this is such detail, diary? You need only know the basics after all. Lavitz appeared later, informed us of the situation of the war. Dart, again to my surprise, volunteered to help. He said that he would join Lavitz in his journey to help fortify Hoax, a small town to the southwest. He was putting aside his quest to find the Black Monster. Shana offered to help too, and of course, so did I. I wasn't about to let my son and Shana embark on a dangerous journey without being there as well! 

Lavitz invited us to his home first, to rest up and get supplies. His mother is a plump friendly woman whom I make friends with instantly. She asked if Shana is Lavitz's girlfriend, and all of us were embarrassed by that question. The three females cooked dinner while Lavitz showed Dart around the house and around town.

Lavitz has a good relationship with his mother, much like Dart's relationship with me. Mrs. Slambert offered her son extra jerky, his favorite, for the journey and he declined it, but when Shana and Dart are gone, he said, "Actually, Mom, I really do want to take the jerky with me." His mother and I had a good laugh over that one; a mother knows her son well. It is good to know another mother, and to get along nicely with her. The women at Seles were…not quite good friends. 

I overheard Lavitz speaking with Dart about Shana. The knight said that Dart protects Shana with a passion because he is the only one who can do so. Shana needs protecting, Lavitz said, and Dart has to be there for her. This embarrassed my son, and again he stated that Shana is like a little sister. 

We leave in a few moments. I am becoming like a little child-girl again, one who does not part with her diary. 


	8. Entry Six: A New Acquaintance

Diary ~  __

Diary ~ 

It seems I write more and more often. But it because nearly everyday now, there is something to write about. But today's adventure was frightening as well as exciting as well as intriguing. I am still so confused.

Hoax was more of a fort than a town, and a poorly fortified one at that. It would be a wonder if the Sandorans didn't _taken it over. The person in charge was a man named Kaiser, who appointed Dart and Lavitz as the southern guards and Shana and I as healers and cooks. Is it because we are females that we always get these positions? But I am a better fighter than most men, due to my father's rigorous training, or at least I was when I was younger. I have been training more now, to get back into the shape I was. I think Father would be proud if he could see me._

But I won't see him ever again. I cannot stand to face him now, knowing that I ran away from him. Sometimes I will wake up and go outside to practice a simple few kicks, and wait for him to appear in the doorway looking out, watching me with that scrutinizing look, criticizing. But he never appears and I ask myself why do I still miss him?

But again I am off the topic. I must stop that. The attack came at night, when the night owls hooted until I began to feel a headache. I sat outside the headquarters, on the steps with Shana.

Dart was beginning to come down the stairs of the wall-gate when the owls stopped hooting. I knew as well as my son did that something had to be in the forest that startled them, because in a fluttering of wings they were suddenly in the sky, and a terrible roar filled the night air. 

The attack came from the north, arrows flying into the air and striking several of the soldiers. I remember yelling at Shana to help the wounded even as I myself am running forward, delivering a devastating kick to one of the incoming soldiers.

Dart and Lavitz fought bravely; I saw this from the corner of my eyes. Another man crumbled under my fists. I had forgotten how much I loved to fight. Father was right about that; fighting was consuming. But in the distance, behind all the soldiers I saw someone. A giant, twice or three times my height, enormous, carrying and equally enormous axe or blade with him. 

Shana screamed for my help. I ran towards her, battling the Sandorans away from her and the wounded that she was helping. "I can't take care of all of these!" She cried, and I abandoned fighting for healing. 

But the scream of pain brought my attention back to my son.

He was fighting the giant that I had seen before. A Giganto, one of the wounded told me, an ancient species thought to be extinct. The Sandorans had the help of the last one, named Kongol.

I cauterized and bandaged the wounds but my eyes were on the fight. I watched, terrified, as he practically killed the knight and my son. Lavitz was thrown several yards and Dart was battered thoroughly, lying on the ground.

"Dart!" I scream. "Watch out!" 

But I needn't have worried. They recovered swiftly. Quicker and more graceful, the two of them ducked the giant's axe and attacked with their additions and strategies, weakening Kongol until he was nearly defeated. 

Lavitz had taken a rather rough blow and lain twitching on the ground. Dart raised his sword for the final attack, to down this giant, and I watched in amazement. 

But the Giganto was not quite as slow as we all thought. He must have been faking being weak and on the ground because as Dart neared him, he swung upward with his axe, knocking the sword from my son's hands. Dart flew backwards several feet, and I cried out as the giant loomed over my darling son, axe lifted for the final blow.

"Dart!" This scream was Shana's and it was terrible.

But then another amazing thing happened. It seems my life is filled with these all of a sudden.

Something swoops out of the sky. I thought it an angel at first, but it wore dark armor. I will never forget what happened. It hovered above Dart's body, blocking the axe with its sword and knocked Kongol back a few steps with a powerful kick. It flew upwards again, beating powerful wings that shimmered with energy and dripped magical dust. I could feel its aura, bursting with restrained power, emanating a particular element, concentrated like no human could do.

A Dragoon! I remember gasping.

It pointed its sword at Dart. "Wake up!" It commanded in a powerful voice that made many of the battles stop to stare. "Dragoon of the Red-Eyed Dragon!" 

And then Dart was covered in the same magical dust and energy. It crawled all over his body, a flaring red like fire. I thought he had been set on fire until it began to fade, leaving a beautiful red armor covering him, and his sword flew back in his hands, also seemingly recreated from the fire. Wings, strong, green with red veins and support, burst from his back and beat so powerfully that the people around him staggered back.

He moved as if he knew how to all along, pushing the Giganto back and casting a spell.

Magic! I saw him yell the name of the spell but was too far away to hear it.

Fire spilled forth from him, engulfing Kongol and making him sail through the air to land on his head.

Dart slowly drifted to the ground and the wings stayed. 

"Dart!" Lavitz yelled, pulling himself to his feet. "What's going on?"

"I don't know…" Dart said quietly. "I don't know what's happening to me?!" He was hysterical until the dark angel I had seen flew down to settle beside him, much more confident. It was covered in the energy, but a violet-blue kind, dark. When the light faded, a human stood there. A woman, this was obvious even at my distance by the long legs and hair, and the way she carried herself. I ran over to them.

"The knight of the Dragon…" The woman was saying as I neared earshot. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and I think she winked at him. So confident. "The Dragoon was born."

Dart is a Dragoon? 

By the way, Kongol recovered. The woman looked at him and said, "I am surprised you didn't die". He snarled something and ran off with the rest of the Sandorans. Hoax would stay up for a while yet.

"Dart!" Shana ran, stopped in front of him. "Are you all right?"

He looked at her dazedly, murmured her name, and collapsed. The flash of light washed over him and the wings disappeared.

I was so shocked then. I remember not being able to move but I found myself saying, "We have to get him inside."

The woman followed us. I paid her no heed at first until I had my son settled. Then I looked at her.

It was like looking into a mirror, except this reflection was still young and beautiful, a perfect image of myself perhaps twenty years ago. I stood there like a statue, gawking at her. She looked back, smirked at me as if she knew what I was thinking. She scared me for a moment. Even now I'm still scared of her, but also awed, intrigued, curious. She has skin like cherry blossoms and hair like the sky on a starless night. She looks exactly like me twenty years ago. I shiver now. The only thing different about her is the way she carries herself, calm and collected, sure of herself, and her eyes, cold smoke, held something mysteriously dark.

Shana started arguing with her then. "What have you done to Dart?" she demanded.

The woman tossed her hair over her shoulder, again. Her every motion drew attention. "I saved his life. I should be thanked, so why are you yelling at me?"

When Dart woke up, he seemed to recognize the woman. "Hello."

She smiled at him, a smile that radiated nothing and didn't seem to mean itself. "Hello. You are feeling better, I see."

"You know this person?" Shana asked at the same time I did. 

"She is someone important to me." Dart replied, sitting up and smiling at the woman.

The woman raised finely cultured eyebrows. "Are you hitting on me?"

"No. I'm sorry. Shana, Mom, this woman…" He obviously didn't know her name, and I was slightly upset at that. I had raised my son with manners.

"My name is Rose."

Rose. That name seems familiar, but I don't remember from where. Dart explained that this was the woman that had saved him from the Dragon. A short conversation ensued, and Rose told us that they were both Dragoons. 

"But that wasn't why I saved you." She admitted. "I saved you because you and your friends intrigue me. You seem so much like my old friends. They were a lot like you."

"Where are they now?" Shana asked.

"Dead."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I think I was wrong about you." Shana apologized. It is good if they get along. 

But anyway, Rose is teaching Dart how to be a good Dragoon fighter right now. I'm watching as they fly through the air, swords clanging, magics colliding. The remaining soldiers are watching in awe. Kaiser was wounded, and as Shana healed it for him, he suggested that she stay. He thought it would be too dangerous of she went with us to protect the Eleventh Knighthood, which was being attacked by the Dragon. But Shana refused. She's getting stronger now, because I am training her. I hope to Soa I am not turning out like Father did. She and Lavitz have gone to get the supplies and when the two Dragoons are done training, we will leave.


	9. Entry Seven: Encounters

Diary ~  __

Diary ~ 

Again strange things happen. I believe I will most likely be writing to you about them every day.

Rose is…not quite a friendly person. She hasn't smiled or laughed or shown even a bit of emotion other than perhaps bloodlust and anger. However, she does speak with me. I am sure that I should be pleased to have this honor, as she rarely initiates conversation with anyone else, especially Shana. She speaks to me as if I am her equal, of little things, often Dart as well and I wonder if she takes an interest in him. She asks me of my family as well, and all I tell her is that my husband had died from the Black Monster. She flinches and when I asked her why she said that she too had lost somebody to the Black Monster. 

She is a great warrior as well, rivaling and perhaps even surpassing Dart. He seems to look at her with a respectful awe. She commands that with people. Shana doesn't seem to like her and Lavitz seems more reserved to her. But something about her just seems off to me, wrong. Her aura…feels…different. And not just because of her Dragoon forms. When I look at her, I am reminded of times when cities could float and panthers were common pets. A feeling of age and mystery. 

Ah, but I digress yet again! We needed to travel to the Marshlands to help the Knighthood. The Marshlands stank like dead corpses and rotting life, which is what it was made of. Dart gave me a few words of caution as if he was my protector before I stopped him.

"You forget, Dart, I was a very capable warrior before you were even born." How true that was. I still am a very capable and strong warrior but I have lost the soul of the warrior. I am not sure how to describe it but something is different…

Shana had her ankle stuck in quicksand and Dart doubled back to help her, but she pulled her ankle out all on her own. "I'm not a thirteen-year-old child anymore, Dart. Your mother has been training me. I don't want to be weak. I want to fight beside you. Even if I can't be as strong as Rose is" there was envy in her voice. "I want to help you and to struggle next to you."

He seemed surprised at her change in attitude. When he left her, she would have been the one screaming for help and weeping in pain and humiliation when he helped her out. Now she is capable of protecting herself, up to a point. She is still not a high-warrior by far, but she is working on it and I am proud of her for that. 

By the time we reached the fort, the fighting was almost over. Dart and Rose scared off a good deal of the remaining soldiers by their Dragoons forms and we eliminated the enemies that were brave enough to remain. The rest that did remain were of course the dead ones. Our mission accomplished, we were about to leave when a soldier told us of the poisonous Dragon breath and begged us to help kill the Dragon. Of course Dart could not pass up this request. We were going to kill the Dragon, and we followed the soldier's directions to the Dragon's Nest, past the Volcano.

The Volcano Villude, Lavitz told us, is the pathway around the rim of a volcano, very dangerous and hot. Be sure not to fall into any lava pits. 

Yeah sure, I'm just going to throw myself in there.

Yet a little part of me considers that. You will be with Zieg then, it says rationally.

I shake my head. No. No, I will not do that. As much as I had loved my husband, I love life more. I cannot leave my son here. I can't rush into death. 

Halfway through the Villude, Shana began to act very strangely. She stopped walking and when I gently pushed her along, she was immovable. She stood there with her hands clenched by her hips and her eyes unfocused and far away. Her body swayed slightly.

"It's calling me. There's a voice calling me." She said and she leapt into the volcano.

She landed on the slope, scampering down with only a minimal amount of difficulty, as if she has traveled this path before. She knew the way, quickly disappearing from sight. 

Yelling her name, the four of us descended with much more difficulty—aside from Rose, who seemed to welcome pain—and following Shana's path. 

We found her poised at the edge of a cliff overlooking a lava pit. Dazed and upset, she was staring into it.

Well, she was staring at what was in it anyway. __

It was to a normal person a monster, gray and green, hideous and deformed, and enormous. But Zieg had studied the Dragon Campaign and he had told me many things about it so that I knew nearly as much as he did. I knew enough to know that this was a Virage. 

I said so at the same time Rose did and she stared at me in what would be confusion for half a second before a grudging respect. "You know your history." She said.

"As do you." Where had she learned of such things to such a great extent?

"I am a scholar of the Dragon Campaign. The Virages were manipulated beings who fought alongside the Winglies. This one has been preserved in the lava for over eleven thousand years."

Lavitz said that it was impossible and Shana spoke again. "The voice stopped." She whimpered, reaching out a hand to the Virage. But when Dart started forward, she cautioned him back, screaming, "Don't go near it! It's dangerous!"

Dart backed away, looking at me. In gentle tones I managed to persuade Shana to come away from the edge of the cliff, but as she moved away the Virage awakened. It lumbered itself onto the edge of the cliff. Rose smirked and Dart steeled himself. The two most able warriors in the party.

Not that I mean the rest of us didn't fight as well. It must have been a rather weak Virage because it fell quite easily, and Dart kicked it back into the lava pit. The heat flared up and lava splattered onto the edges of the cliff. I pulled Shana away, reaching for Rose. She allowed herself to be dragged away from it, still glaring at the sinking body of the Virage. 

"The Virages battled against the humans in the Dragon Campaign. This one must have awakened because he wanted revenge against humans—us." I told them, a bit out of breath.

"Mom, how do you know so much about the Dragon Campaign?" Dart asked me.

"Your father studied it all of his life. Every free moment that he had, he focused on studying the Dragon Campaign. He was obsessed with it. And he seemed to know it on a personal level too. He told me he had dreams about it."

I noticed that Rose frowned, opening her mouth to say something but the voice that rang through the air was a male's, screaming for help.

It ended up being a merchant from Lohan who thanked us all very graciously when we pulled him up from where he was dangling over a lava pit. He left saying that we would be welcome in Lohan.

Dragon's Nest finally appeared and the smell of blood and Dragons was in the air. Shana seemed troubled by the latter; as soon as she entered the forest she claimed a headache. Rose explained that it was because of the poison on the Dragon's breath. We needed to quickly accomplish the mission and head back. 

When we were deeper into the forest, Shana's condition worsened, tripping many times though she kept claiming that she was fine. She was the only one affected by the Dragon poison. All of us except for Rose had headaches—or at least we were the ones who admitted to them—but Shana was the only one who was seriously disturbed. Dart needed to fight freely, so I guided Shana with an arm around her shoulders, knowing that Dart's fighting would be more powerful and effective than mine. I wonder what Father would say if he saw his grandson.

Rose pointed out the way, saying that she "smelled" Feyrbrand, the Dragon, that way. 

"Shana, are you truly okay?"

"I must be strong. I'm okay." She insisted. I had raised her to be strong but in effect she refused help.

Dragon's Nest was through a web. We fell through and found our way through the corridors until we reached an empty room that reeked of Dragon poison. But on the throne sat not a Dragon but a human, with dark hair and a large build. Of course, I should have expected. Each Dragon had a master to command it. 

Lavitz seemed to know this person. It turned out that this person was an ex-knight named Greham, who had betrayed Lavitz's father Servi and caused his death in some way. Greham transformed into Dragoon; his dark hair stood out against the pale jade of the armor.

Rose was outraged at this, demanded to know how he had gotten the armor. Greham told us that Emperor Doel of Sandora was acting under the orders of Emperor Diaz. Emperor Diaz! That's impossible! Zieg had told me that Diaz was commander of the human forces and had died during the Dragon Campaign. Eleven thousand years ago!

Shana worsened when the Dragon itself appeared, looking like stalks of hay and grass woven together. I stayed by her side, occasionally taking the blunt of attack items that Greham tossed at us. Dart, Lavitz, and Rose fought instead and when one of them became tired, he would come sit beside Shana and rest while I took his place. I felt a bit guilty at fighting a Dragon but it was self-defense and Father had told me never to have regrets. 

When both Dragon and Dragoon had fallen, the Jade Dragoon Spirit was passed onto Lavitz, along with Greham's heartfelt apologies. The Dragon died, its body fading and its energy permanently becoming part of the Dragoon Spirit.

So now there are THREE Dragoons of the five humans in this party. Coincidence?

Shana fainted a few minutes after Lavitz accepted the Dragoon Spirit, so we had to head to Lohan, the closest town that had a doctor. 

The doctor here is competent enough; he immediately deduced that it is Dragon poison. But there is no cure, he said. Dart smashed his fist against the wall before I snapped at him. He and Lavitz and Rose headed to see if Dabas could tell them anything. They returned saying that they had a lead and were going to check it out. I was to stay here and watch over Shana.

The doctor returned to his paperwork wisely, leaving me sitting by Shana's bedside, praying to Soa. 

I write this now, at her bedside. I pray that she get better and fast. Shana was my daughter, for lack of better words. I had practically accepted her as my ward, despite the lack of paperwork. I shed a few tears over her, unashamed of my emotions. 

Oh gods, a few moments ago a man walked by the clinic and I could have sworn that it was Father.

I jumped up, screaming, until the doctor told me that the stress had caused a hallucination. Accepting the mild wine he offered, I sat back down. Of course it must be a hallucination. What were the odds that I would meet Father again?

But then again, what if I DID meet him again? What…what would happen? Would he forgive me? Would I forgive him?

Dart has returned now, with a few bruises and another Dragoon Spirit! Good grief, I was told there was only seven in the world and yet we have four right now! It is as if they are drawn toward us. He holds the Dragoon Spirit over Shana's body to heal her, but instead it latches itself to her neck and she awakens perfectly healthy. 

Well now I am the only one without a Dragoon Spirit. I feel a bit left out but I am not sure I would want one even if it were offered to me. By my studies it seemed to be both a gift and a curse. Dart carries it as a tool, using it to help him reach his goals. But within it, I see something strange, a different glow in his eyes, a look of age and understanding. Rose carries it with obligation, her face austere and stern. Lavitz carries it as a weapon to help him fight for Basil. He keeps saying that he will use it for justice, to help King Albert. Shana carries it as if it is a gift, but within her eyes too I see the strange light. I will have to ask them about it later.

The doctor informed us of the Hero Competition in town. Daredevils and fighters and warrior from all over came to compete in it. 

"Mom, can I join?" Dart asked me, as if he is still ten years old asking my permission.

I laughed, hugged him to me. "Dart, you are past the age where you must ask my permission. Do what you want, I am just an old woman watching her son's journey."

"You're not old." He reminded me. "You're only—"

I hush him before he can say my age. I may be a mother but Soa had allowed me to keep my beauty. I think I look about the same as I did years ago, in Rouge. I look a lot like Rose, but without the austerity and age-old understanding in the eyes. But I know that I can still make men desire me if I want. But I don't.

"Are you going to join, Claire?" Shana asked. The Dragoon Spirit is tucked under her sleeveless tunic.

"No, my dear, I am not going to. I will not fight those decades younger than I am. I'll just get injured and embarrass myself. But let us get good seats. We can watch Dart win… Rose, are you fighting?"

She shook her head no. "I've no interest in something like this." She disappeared to find her own seat, which was fine with me and obviously with Shana.

Oh gods, as I walked back from getting refreshments for Shana and Lavitz, I crashed into a person. He caught the drinks before they fell and replaced them on my tray with a grace that could not be rivaled. He smiled, and that was the first thing I noticed. The second thing was that he had a strange aura. The third thing was that he had bewitching blood-colored eyes and silver-platinum hair. 

"I'm sorry." He said. I have to write down the whole conversation because of a strange feeling I have. "Are you participating in the competition? No, I suppose not. It was a foolish question. If you were going to fight, you wouldn't be getting refreshments."

I laughed; I couldn't help it. "Very clever. You're right; I'm not fighting. Do I look like a fighter?"

He looked at me, musing, and I was embarrassed that I provoked such a question. But to my surprise he said, "Yes, you do. Not a crude one, furthermore. You have a fighting style."

I was flattered he could tell this—I didn't look like a fighter to most people—and impressed that he could analyze me. "Thank you." I tell him. "Obviously, you will be fighting." I gesture to a beautiful silver sword hanging loosely by his right hip. He was lean, but with well-toned muscles tightening his pale skin.

"Yes. I hope you'll be cheering for me." He had a bewitching smile as well. I wonder now if he was flirting with me. But I must be older than he by over a decade. It wouldn't be immoral but it would be very uncomfortable. Yet I remember that Winglies can halt their aging. What am I saying? I am speaking as if I have taken an interest in him.

I steadied my refreshments and smiled back. "I will. Good luck, Wingly."

His eyes flashed bright red for a moment and his smile was contagious. "You're perceptive. I'd be grateful if you didn't blurt it around."

"You have my word, sir. I don't purposefully persecute those of different species. Good luck in the tournament. I must be going now." 

He inclined his head in respect and I smiled, then walked away. When I finally remembered where I had seen him before and turned around he was gone. He was the one in the black cloak at Indels Castle. I got the same strange feeling both times. 

When I sat down beside Shana and she took the refreshments and handed them to Lavitz, she noticed my face. "Claire, are you all right? You look pale?" She said, but I waved it off.

The tournament started and I forgot about the Wingly. Dart was in the first battle and his opponent broke the rules by casting a poison spell. I saw Rose across the arena, practically leaning in, yelling something to Dart. He looked at her for a moment and used an item to cure his poison. Rose sat back, satisfied, and Dart defeated the opponent.

I watched as he breezed through battles easily. That's my son! I wanted to tell to the people in my pride, but would they care? No, humans cared only for themselves. 

And then I began to pay attention to other battles and I nearly passed out. There was a man down there, with dark, dark hair and a large nose, dressed in violet, using his fists as weapons. He was a master of the Rouge martial arts, I could tell this even at my distance. I could also identify him.

Father.

I tried to stand, swayed. Shana and Lavitz caught me before I tripped over myself. "What's wrong, Claire?" Shana screamed.

"That's my father." I told her quietly and fainted.

It was rather embarrassing actually, now that I remember it. I was only out for a few seconds but when I came around, Father had already won. I sat shaking in my seat, praying that it wasn't him. I wasn't ready to see him yet. I wasn't sure if I ever would be.

I shut my eyes until Shana told me it was Dart's turn again. I looked up, saw that he was fighting Father and went back to hiding behind my hands. When it was over, I learned that my son had won over his grandfather and felt a brief swell of pride. 

The Wingly I had spoken with was also fighting, defeating his enemies as if they were mere insects under his polished boots. He was a very talented fighter, dangerous. He moved too fast, faster than the wind. His sword moves as quickly as thought. No one stood a chance to him. I saw Rose's lips move from where I sat, she seemed to be cursing. I heard Shana speaking but I didn't hear her.

The Wingly defeated Father as well, so that now he was fighting Dart. I paused, not sure who to root for. I had promised to cheer for the Wingly but Dart was my son and blood-tie came first. I figured the rules of etiquette would forgive me. 

But the fight was over just as quickly as the others were. The Wingly had won. His name was Lloyd. I tried the name. It came easily and carried power.

The hero tournament ended with Lloyd in first place, Dart in second place, and Father in third. 

"Claire, are you coming?" Lavitz asked.

"I'm going to go hide by the monster conquest game, all right? Please make sure that he leaves before coming to fetch me." I ran, taking the long way around the arena so that I wouldn't have to see the winners. I stumbled into many people along the way, and one large man caused me to fall to the ground.

"You seem to have a habit of crashing into people." Lloyd said calmly, extending a hand to me. I took it, pulled myself to my feet.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you again." I said quickly, looking around. I didn't see Father anywhere. I relaxed slightly but not much, summing up the conversation. "Congratulations on winning, and thanks for your help. Please excuse me, but I need to go."

He followed my nervous gaze around the arena. "Are you being chased by someone?"

I laughed uneasily. It came out shrill. "You could say that."

"Are you in trouble with the authorities?"

"No. Someone else."

He paused. "Do you need protection?" He touched the hilt of his sword lightly.

I was surprised by his offer. "…Thank you, but no. I'm trying to avoid him."

"Ah, I see. Well then, I suggest climbing up there." He pointed to the rafters tacked high on the walls where boxes were usually stored and where little rat-like creatures had been racing. "It can't be seen from down here. I'll give you a hand up."

"Thank you." I told him gratefully as I stepped onto his cupped hands and leapt onto the rafters. "By the way, your last opponent was my son. That's why I cheered for him."

"You have a very strong son. You must be proud. Back up a little. Yes, now I can't see you. You can stay there until the arena is deserted."

"Thank you, Lloyd." I said. I wasn't sure if I had permission to use his name, but he didn't seem to mind. I could have sworn he chuckled.

"Since you know my name, what is yours?"

"My name is Claire. Thank you for your help." 

"You're welcome." 

After a long while I looked over the edge. Lloyd was gone, along with many of the people but not enough. I scanned for Father, but couldn't see him. I relaxed, cradling my head in my elbows, returning my breathing to normal. It smelled of animal sweat up here, and I brush a rat away from me, returning to my hiding, calm.

So you can imagine, diary, how startled I was when a hand settled on my shoulder.

"There you are." Rose said, scowling as she sat beside me. "Dart had us hunting all over for you. Shana said you would be by some game but obviously you aren't."

I had forgotten what I had told Shana. "I'm sorry. I was—"

"Avoiding the old man. We know, Shana told us. Let's go, Claire." Her voice softened slightly, almost as if she was trying to comfort me. "There's nothing to be afraid of. Now let's go. I don't like this place."

I climbed to my feet with her, again marveling at how much she is like me. Every time I look at her I think I am looking into a mirror.

She leapt down from the rafters. I did the same, ending in a crouch because I am not as agile as she is. As I straightened, I knew he would be there. My eyes automatically found him.

Father.


	10. Reunion

Reunion ****

Reunion

She stood up quickly, kept her ground, her head held high, but her eyes lowered, staring at a pebble by her toe. 

"I'm disappointed in you, Claire." Haschel finally said. "I didn't teach you to run away and hide in cowardice."

"I know." She muttered. 

"What's going on?" Dart asked. "You two know each other?"

"How do you know him?" Claire asked at the same time Haschel asked, "How do you know her?"

Dart shook his head. Shana walked over to put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Claire is my mother. Haschel I met on my journey to find the Black Monster. He taught me a lot about fighting and some stuff about the sword too. How do you two know each other?"

Claire glanced at her father and took her son's hand. "Dart, that man is my father. Your grandfather."

Dart backed up and sat on a crate. All he said was, "Oh, boy."

"I ran away from my hometown twenty years ago because I…because of things I don't want to mention right now. I ran away from my father and master." Claire explained. 

"And I left home to search for her." Haschel added. "I had almost given up. I thought maybe I would find her here, fighting in the tournament, but obviously, she didn't fight."

"No, Master." Claire murmured. "I did not see it fit to fight in the tournament."

"Isn't this interesting, that such a coincidence should occur after twenty years of searching and running?" Rose said, her voice as languid as her posture. 

Claire glared at her, and surprisingly, Rose silenced. 

"What are we going to do now?" Dart asked. "Mom? …Grandfather?" 

"It is up to you, Master." Claire said quietly. So strange! She had been running from this man for twenty years, yet also wanting to meet him again, to see if he changed, to see if he approved of the changes in her.

Haschel grimaced. "Dart, where are you going? It's up to you."

The young man seemed flustered. "Well, we promised the King of Serdio that we would help to end the war. You and Mom obviously have issues to patch over, but I don't want to separate from Mom, so why don't you come with us?"

And so it was settled, the five of them walking along the streets of Lohan rather awkwardly. Shana was speaking rapidly to Dart, but he didn't seem to be listening, kept looking over his shoulder at his mother and grandfather, who walked on opposite sides of the street. 

__

Fool! Claire cursed herself. _Prove to him that you are not weak, and that you were not wrong for running away. You ran away because he pushed you too hard. It was his fault that you disappeared. Prove to him that you made something of your life! Go and talk to him, see what has happened since twenty years ago!_

But she stayed on her side of the street, quiet and cautious. They had almost reached the edge of Lohan when a soldier came stumbling in. He reached out for help, but the people backed away, leaving him to fall face-flat on the middle of the street, revealing several arrows and a lance buried in his back. He must have had a strong will to keep surviving.

Lavitz ran over to him. "You are a knight of Basil!" He cried. "What happened?"

The man struggled to talk. Lavitz helped him to hold his head up. "Sir Lavitz, thank Soa someone can receive my message. King Albert has been…captured." His voice was gurgling, as if he was choking on his own blood. He was dead a few seconds later. 

Dart grabbed Lavitz by the back of his tunic before the knight ran out of Lohan. "Lavitz, stop! Calm down! You can't just run off like that!"

Lavitz fought him, snarling like an enraged Dragon, kicking backward, punching. Dart grunted in pain as one punch connected with his cheek.

Claire ran forward, pulled Lavitz from Dart's grip and slapped him across the face. 

It was a good slap, and she managed to swing his body around with the force, so that the side of his head collided with the street and knocked him out. Claire pulled off the rest of a broken nail and rubbed her hand on the pocket of her pants, looking down at the two limp bodies.

"I think you killed him." Shana gasped. 

"I did not." Claire told her. "I just knocked him out, that's all. He's completely irrational. He won't be able to help anyone in that mood. He'll only get him and the rest of us killed. Help me get him to the clinic."

She grabbed Lavitz's arms, and Dart took the legs. Together, with Haschel and Shana trailing, they went back to the doctor's clinic.

The doctor was very surprised to see them again. "Didn't I just…oh dear, was he injured in the Tournament?"

"Um…you could say that. Can we leave him here with you for a while, just until he wakes up?"

"Of course." 

As Dart paid the doctor for the inconvenience, Haschel spoke up. "If King Albert has been captured, then the war seems to be leaning toward the Sandorans. I'm going to go see what happened to Bale."

Claire found herself saying, "I'll go with you, Master."

The look on his face told her that he was just as surprised as she was. "Of course. We leave immediately."

"Claire!" Shana cried out, at the same time Dart said, "Be careful, Mom. You too, Master Haschel."

"We will." Claire double-checked the healing supplies in the pouch she had around her neck and left the doctor's office, her father and master walking beside her.

The trip was silent until they were halfway to Bale. They jogged there, wanting to make it back to Lohan before Lavitz woke. 

"I see that you still like people to call you Master." Claire finally remarked, jumping over a large boulder as she crossed a narrow valley.

Haschel did the same with the same lack of difficulty. "You should understand that by teaching you those rules, I taught you discipline."

She nodded. "And strength."

There was another silence before Haschel started a conversation. "I didn't know that I had a grandson. I met him on his journey searching for the Black Monster but I never made the connection."

"I left before he was born. I was in my third month when I left. It wasn't very noticeable. I didn't want to stay there."

"Claire." Haschel paused. His daughter did the same, turning back to face him. She was surprised to see hurt and distress on his face. "Would it have pained you terribly if you had just written home and told me that you were all right? Told me if you had married that man?"

Claire set her jaw and turned back to the road. "In case you haven't realize, we're behind schedule, Master. We'll need to hurry if we want to reach Bale within the hour." She began to run again, and her father easily caught up. She took a deep breath and spoke. "It's good to see that you are still healthy, Master." It was a sincere statement. No matter what, he was still her father.

"And that you seem to have kept up in your martial arts studies."

"I couldn't practice as much as you would have liked. The villagers already found me strange."

"Where did you go after you ran away?" Haschel asked quietly, ducking by a monster and knocking it out with a solid punch. "Were you with that man?"

"The man's name was Zieg. I ran away and he waited for me. We headed for Neet, in the Mille Sesean continent. But…the Black Monster attacked one night, when Dart was five. The damned bastard killed my husband and destroyed my hometown!" Claire leapt off the ground and delivered such a devastating kick to a Mantis monster so that its ribs shattered and spilled across the ground, staining her boots. Haschel nodded, impressed. "I ran with Dart to Deningrad for a while, but I…didn't think it was safe there either."

"You were frightened." Haschel said.

"I wasn't. I was merely being cautious." Claire snapped back, before she realized that her father was not speaking in a flat disappointed tone, but in a gentle knowing tone. She diverted her glance to him for a second, questioning. "Yes, you're right. I was frightened. I felt cornered. So I fled to Seles, in Basil. I raised Dart there, but he left at eighteen. I then spent most of my time with Shana. She's a very sweet child. But Sandorans attacked Seles. Dart returned that day and we fought together, taking back the town by not the deaths that most of Seles suffered. We rescued Shana from Hellena Prison and met Lavitz on the way. We then headed to Bale to speak with the king and took the mission to destroy the Dragon. Shana was poisoned by Dragon breath and we went to the doctor in Lohan. And you know the rest, Master."

"Dart is Zieg's son, then?"

"Yes. He's a very strong child and I'm proud of him."

Haschel paused, considering. "I suppose you taught him that song you were humming twenty years ago?"

Claire nearly tripped in her surprise; she hadn't expected him to remember that song that he had overheard her singing. She had created that melody herself during a day of sadness. "Yes. It's my gift to him. He taught it to Shana as well."

"He's taken an interest in her then?"

"I should only hope. I know that Shana's smitten with him but he looks at her like a baby sister. I'm not sure if that will ever change." Claire laughed lightly. "There's Bale."

"Walk." Haschel said, and she slowed to a casual walk, rearranging her breathing pattern. "By Soa, look at all those guards at the gates. I'll speak with them, see if I can find anything. You scout the outside walls, see what you can find."

Claire nodded, loping off. For twenty years she had obeyed her own free will, decided on her own. But as soon as Haschel returned, she was obeying orders as if she had never run away.

Five minutes she returned, meeting him. He spoke first. "They've overrun Bale. King Albert is indeed taken. They won't let anyone in, not even relatives of the families inside."

"There are soldiers everyone." She hissed. It was like stepping back into the past, with the little missions and reports that were part of her training. For a long while, she had thought her father was training her to be an assassin or some other professional job like that. But he had hardly ever let her have a real chance out in the world so what was the point? "But there's a small alleyway that they seem to have neglected. It's on the northeast side of town. The guards are stationed at compass points, but to get into the alleyway, all we have to do is get past a short wall and a few crates. Most of the guards are lagging off. There are none at the opening and only two at the street beyond that, back facing us."

"Did you check the rooftops?" 

Claire's face changed. "No. I forgot to." _Stupid, stupid, stupid! _She cursed herself. _You were trapped once because you didn't check the rooftops! Why did you forget again?_

Haschel frowned. "Don't forget next time." He started off to the northeast.

__

What? That's it? No lecture? No yelling, saying that I'm useless? Bewildered, Claire followed. 

"You first." He said. 

She nodded, running up the wall and latching her fingers on the top, swinging herself over. She balanced herself with a leg on either side, and extended a hand down to her father. He raised a bushy black eyebrow at her, and in the next second he was sitting on the wall next to her.

"Of course. I forgot." She muttered, jumping down nimbly, avoiding the crates. 

"I think it would be better if we kept sneaking. I don't see any civilians around, so we can't act casual. I guess the guards forbade anyone from going outside. Do you know anyone here that we can talk to?"

Claire thought for a moment. "Yes. Lavitz's mother. I know where she lives. Will you follow me?"

Haschel crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't like how you phrased that last sentence."

She thought that her grammar was wrong, but it was acceptable. "What do you mean, Master?"

"Claire, I was your master twenty years ago. You can take control now. Be confident. Every time you start to say something, it ends up being a question. That's what I don't like." 

She grinned. "Then follow me." She corrected herself. And in that moment she knew that her father had forgiven her for running away.

The guards had locked everyone into their houses so it was rather difficult sneaking around without being caught. In order to get into the Slambert house, Claire was forced to perch on an awning outside the kitchen, leaning over to rap at the window with her knuckles. 

Lavitz's mother appeared, looked around. She gasped when she saw the shapes outside and opened the window. Claire slid in, followed by Haschel.

"Mrs. Slambert." Claire bowed slightly. "Hello. Nice to see you again."

"Oh. Um. Hello, Claire, was it? It's a pleasure to see you again. May I ask why you came in through my kitchen window? How did you get into Bale?"

"We sneaked in." Claire explained. "This is my…father, Haschel. Lavitz heard that King Albert had been captured and nearly went insane. He's waiting in Lohan for the news we have to bring him." She decided to leave out the part about how she was the one that knocked him out. "What's going on, Mrs. Slambert?" 

The older woman tilted her head toward the outside. "The Sandorans invaded Bale unexpectedly. King Albert gave himself up so that Bale wouldn't be hurt. So instead we're just locked inside our houses. King Albert is being held in Hellena Prison."

"Oh, dear." Claire touched the tips of her fingers to her mouth. "Lavitz isn't going to like this."

"No, he won't. Please tell him to be careful. You should get going now. I'll cause a distraction." 

"No!" Claire grabbed the other woman's hands. "You'll get yourself killed."

"I will not. I'll go outside. They'll just put me back inside and tell me to stay here. I won't be hurt." Mrs. Slambert smiled. "Go on."

The two Rouge fighters slid back out the window, retracing their path more easily now that the two guards outside were distracted. 

"It's good to know that you haven't forgotten your infiltration skills." Haschel said once they were running back to Lohan. 

"It's hard to forget anything you've taught me, Master." Claire replied. "We have to hurry."

Lavitz woke one half-hour after Claire and Haschel returned. Immediately he leapt up again, and nearly made it out the clinic before Shana stuck out a foot and caused him to trip, giving Dart the time to drag him back inside. 

"You fool!" Haschel yelled. "You can't help anyone while you're like this! When knights lose control, their lord is all but lost. You must calm down before you can help anyone."

Claire settled her hands on either side of Lavitz's neck, gently dabbing the pressure points to make him slightly lightheaded. "We went to check out Bale while you were unconscious. The citizens are fine. King Albert surrendered himself to keep them safe. The Sandorans are everywhere so the remaining knights can't do anything. We spoke to your mother, she told you to be careful. His Majesty the King is being held in Hellena Prison."

"We have to go there now. To help King Albert." Lavitz stood up, shaking the lightheadedness away from his mind. "To Hellena Prison. Dart?"

"I remember the way. There's a shortcut that goes through the mountains. Follow me."

With Lavitz in the lead with a strong pace, Dart was explaining to Haschel about the Dragoons and magic, and Claire spoke with Shana.

"Shana?" She asked carefully, watching the girl make her way up the small mountain.

"Yes, Claire? Is something wrong?"

"What is it like being a Dragoon? You seem stronger."

Shana paused. "Well, I think it did make me stronger. With the Dragoon, I think my physical attacks are stronger and my vitality and the rest of my statistics."

"There's a strangeness in your eyes. An oldness, almost, like unknown wisdom. I don't know if I'm explaining correctly."

"I understand, Claire. You've always been able to sense things normal people couldn't, it seems. I guess that strangeness would be the Dragon power. I think I can hear the Dragon. Or at least what remains of her thoughts and feelings. I think she's dead. But I can still feel her. Her power, her knowledge, her wisdom. It shows me that being a Dragoon isn't all fun. It's also obligations. As a Dragoon I have to protect their power, to preserve their legend and keep their blood alive. Do you understand?"

"Yes." She watched in amazement as Shana ignored her hand and leapt the boulder by herself. "Good girl. You _are_ stronger."

Shana smiled sadly. "Yes, but only because of the Dragoon Spirit. Without it, I'd just be weak again. And even with the Dragoon Spirit I'll never be as strong as Rose. She's just…"

"Been training for many more years than you have." Rose's voice came from up ahead. The woman was standing on a wobbling rock. "You don't need to feel ashamed because you can't match up to me. Not many people can, not even Dart. I've been training ever since I was a child and that's a long time."

__

That's not right. Claire thought. _Rose doesn't look like she can be more than twenty-something. She looks about Dart's age. And I've been training for longer than she has but she'd kill me in a real fight and not just because she's younger._

Rose noticed Claire's confused look. "I'm older than I look." She explained smoothly and mysteriously. The rock began to fall and Rose jumped off, landing on solid ground. "Shana, you want to be strong and that proves you own inner strength. Don't compare yourself to me. Almost no one is my equal. Don't fret about it. Just think about the mission, and being a Dragoon. You have responsibilities you have to take care of." With that, she turned and scaled the peak to meet the rest of them.

"What a strange woman!" Shana exclaimed. "She gives me the chills."

"Don't worry about it. Come on, we're trailing behind the others."

Haschel watched as his daughter helped Shana, murmured words of comfort and reassurance.

__

I always knew that you'd be a better mother than a fighter. He thought. _You look like you're much happier this way._

She looked up and met his eyes and smiled, as if she knew what he was thinking and agreed.

Hellena Prison was doubly guarded now, and Shana and Dart checked the ocean sides of the prison to see the guards' formation. There were almost ten guards at the lowered drawbridge but with the four of them it was easy to take out the perimeter guards and slip inside, dressed in their uniforms, waiting to give Dart and Shana their uniforms. 

"This uniform itches and smells like a dead body!" Shana hissed, perpetually scratching her arms.

"That's not impossible." Rose called, shoving the helm further up her head, where it kept slipping. "Considering the fact that there _was_ a dead body in it."

Shana gave a little shriek and muffled it in time not to attract any attention.

The uniform hung loosely on Claire; she was too petite to fit comfortably into the stinky uniform. She continued being uncomfortable until they found King Albert, kneeling beneath a morning sun, with Fruegal sitting beside him, along with a couple of monsters that seemed more silly than dangerous. Fruegal was the warden, and probably spent most of his salary buying junk food, judging by his more-than-ample belly.

"I guess we didn't hit Fruegal hard enough last time." Dart said. "If he can walk now."

The fat warden was speaking to King Albert, something about being kind and letting him see the sun before he died.

"They're going to execute him!" Lavitz growled, beginning to rise before Haschel pulled him back down.

"He's not to be hurt!" One of the guards behind him said. "The messenger is coming soon! Just wait until then, sir!"

"Shut up! Why the hell should I wait for that stupid man in black? He thinks that I'll jump at his slightest command!"

Claire frowned, pulling off her itchy helmet and placing it on the ground. _Man in black…command…messenger…_ Something seemed wrong. Something was _definitely _wrong. _Man in black…_

The man at Albert's castle?

The same man at the tournament. Lloyd. Lloyd was coming _here_? Why?

"King Albert!" Lavitz yelled, pulling away from the others and running toward the bound king. "Fruegal, release him!"

Dart sighed. "Well there goes our element of surprise. Mom, you take the dog thing on Fruegal's left. Rose, get the other monster on his right. Shana and Haschel, come with me. We attack Fruegal head on."

Claire nodded, running out from her cover and jumping onto the back of the dog creature, which was actually a wolf-hound crossbreed. It howled, bucked. She tightened her legs around it and delivered powerful blows to its head. It screamed now, frisking around and trying to throw her off. 

Claire grabbed hold of its neck and twisted. The monster collapsed. Her breathing elevated by the excitement of fighting, she jumped off, only to be struck on the head by the bird-monster, which had been evading Rose's sword attacks. The attack was enough to send her flying, sprawling against one of the sandstone pillars. 

Shaking off a daze, she caught a glimpse of a slender figure in black. In one hand he held fire. 

No, a fire_ sword_.

Claire frowned. Something tickled the edge of her mind and she ran back to the others, kicking Fruegal off balance as she went. 

"Rose!" She said urgently. When the other woman ignored her, Claire gripped part of her sleeve and tugged. 

Rose turned to look at her, annoyance sketched onto her features. "What is it, Claire? There's a battle going on!"

"I know that. Rose, you know more than I do. What important sword is made of fire?"

The other woman deflected a thrust by Fruegal, cursing. "What did you say? Look, now isn't the time for questions. Ask me later." 

Claire gave up and joined the battle, running forward with her father, each delivering a roundhouse kick to Fruegal's side. She backed up, letting Dart take his turn.

When Fruegal fell, the man in black attacked Albert.

Fifty meters away, the man was drawing something out of Albert, his fingers splayed in magical configuration. It must be Lloyd; Claire recognized the hand that had helped her up twice. But what was he _doing?_ It looked like…

It looked like it was drawing magic out of the King, who was obviously in pain, crying out and thrashing. When Lloyd finally stopped, Albert slumped to the ground, groaning.

"Moon Gem!" Lloyd hissed. Yes, that was his voice too. But what was he _holding_? A marble? A small sphere, glowing pale green. He tucked it into the folds of his long black cloak.

"King Albert!" A flash of green light blinded her as Lavitz transformed.

The flash of green light also got Claire's thinking kick-started.

Man in black…a messenger, obviously important…that's Lloyd. But why would Fruegal supposedly listen to him? Lloyd must be a traitor to Basil then. But what about the fire sword? Why does it seem so familiar? __

Fire sword…King Albert, ruler of Basil and rightful king of all of Serdio… Lloyd…a Wingly… Fire… A sword that seems to be made of fire… A Wingly carrying an important sword made of fire against the king… drawing something magical out… Wingly carrying a fire sword…

Dragon Buster! 

"NO!" Claire screamed, running forward and jumping, using Rose's shoulder as a boost as she jumped. 

She wasn't a Dragoon, but her extensive training wasn't all for nothing.

"Mom!" Dart yelled. "What are you doing?"

She managed to catch Lavitz when they were only a couple of meters away from the king and Lloyd. She grabbed one of his wings, pulled as hard as she could. 

"Don't!" She yelled, and with a fierce tug, managed to stop his path, reversing it. She spun him so that he was behind her, obviously struggling against her. He started to slip, but by then it was too late. 

It was too late for her as well. The Dragon Buster had already unsheathed, swung upward. 

Pain in her left arm caused her to scream in pain, landing on her back in front of the king. Lavitz cried out as well, rolling off her to lay limp a few feet away. 

Claire writhed, trying to sit up. She could hear Rose yelling, "That sword!" Haschel was yelling too, and Dart and Shana were screaming. King Albert, only a foot away, somewhere near her head, was asking if she was okay. 

She opened her eyes and saw blood-colored eyes looking down at her. 

Lloyd.

The funny thing was that he looked surprised, and even a bit remorseful, shocked. "I'm sorry, Claire." He said, kneeling to touch two fingers to her neck, checking her pulse. He dropped something into her right hand, the one that she could feel, and stood. 

"Lloyd! You bastard!" That was Dart's voice, no doubt, and getting louder as he ran closer. Claire could hear his sword whooshing through the air. "Get away from my mother!"

The Wingly blocked it with the Dragon Buster—that sword!—and ran. He leapt off the balcony and down to the cliffs below. 

Claire stuffed whatever the hell it was Lloyd gave her into the pocket of her pants before the others reached her. Dart was helping her lift her head, and into a sitting position. "Mom!" he kept yelling. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, sweetheart. Stop yelling. I can hear you just fine. My pain isn't so bad. Is Lavitz okay? That sword would have killed him!"

Rose was the one to help her to her feet. "You knew that sword?"

"The Dragon Buster. I read about it. I knew that it would kill him, but not me. Well, I don't think it will." She looked at her left arm and began to swoon.

"Oh no, you don't." Haschel yelled from where he was cutting Albert's bonds and lifting Lavitz. "Don't you dare pass out, Claire. Don't show your weakness."

She steadied herself by placing her right hand on Shana's shoulder. "Yes, Master."

"We have to take them to Seles." She heard Shana saying from somewhere far away. "Lavitz is unconscious and your mother looks like she's going to faint. I have some medicinal herbs at Seles and we can take refuge there for a while. It's the nearest town."

Claire made it to Seles in a daze, everything hazy and dark, blurry. Rose let her lean her weight on her as they made their way to Seles, catching her as she fell. Haschel kept yelling about being strong while helping Albert to carry Lavitz. Shana and Dart cleared the way of monsters.

Vaguely she remembered being carried into Seles, down into Shana's basement, and laid on a small flimsy cot. 

"Claire, don't you dare pass out." Haschel growled. "I didn't raise a weak daughter."

That remark snapped her fully conscious. "Yes, Master." She looked at Lavitz, focusing her eyes. "Oh dear…"

Even though she had taken the brunt of the attack, the Dragon Buster must have gotten through to Lavitz. His Dragoon armor was cracked on the left side and he was bleeding. His breathing was rough and laborious. 

"Master, please go get Mrs. Slambert. Sneak into Bale and bring her here." 

"Claire—"

"If anything happens to Lavitz, she has to be here." Claire said. "Please, Master, go."

"Claire, worry about yourself. It'll take me a while to bring his mother here and—"

"_Father, please!"_ She screamed. 

Haschel blinked. "Of course." She heard him racing up the stairs.

Shana approached her with a pouch but Claire waved her away. "Check up on Lavitz first. He's wounded more direly. I've just got my arm scraped, that's all."

"Mom, that's not a scrape." Dart said, holding her good hand. 

Claire looked at her injury for the first time. "Oh…"

The Dragon Buster had ripped down her left arm, making a long, long gash from shoulder to forearm. The red tissues were severed and she was bleeding all over the floor. 

"Well, that would explain why I can't feel my arm." She chuckled weakly. "Still, Lavitz took it into the side, closer to his organs."

"I can't do anything with that armor in the way." Shana said. 

Albert reached forward and tried to pry the armor off before realizing that Dragoon armor could not be removed that way. 

Rose was frowning at him. "Albert, touch the pendant on his neck. That should remove the armor."

The King did so, and with a flare of green energy the armor was gone.

"I thought so." Rose smirked. "You're the new master of the Jade Dragon."

Even as she said this, the necklace was tugging itself off of Lavitz's neck and fastening itself around Albert's. 

"Dragoon Spirits choose new masters when the old one is dead, unworthy, or…temporarily displaced." Rose said smoothly. "You're the new Wind Dragoon, Albert." 

"Whatever. Will it make Lavitz better?" Claire wasn't surprised to see tears in the king's eyes. From when she had seen them in the castle, she knew they were the best of friends, nothing short of sworn brothers. 

"I think so." Shana said. "Now I can reach the wound."

"Mom, hold on." Dart gripped her hand. "Shana, what can I do for Mom?"

"Try to stop the bleeding!" She called. 

Rose ripped apart one of the satchels they were carrying and handed it to Dart, who wrapped the length tightly around Claire's arm.

Claire counted the stones on the ground until Shana finally came over to her. " I managed to clean and bandage the wound. As long as it doesn't get infected, Lavitz should recover, given a long period a time."

"That's why the Dragoon Spirit selected Albert as its new master. It knew that Lavitz wouldn't be able to help for a while." Rose said, also coming over. For some reason, she seemed worried. Maybe she only expressed concern in the most terrible situations. "What can you do for Claire now?"

Shana knelt on the cot, carefully removed the makeshift bandage with gentle hands. "Ooh…that looks bad. Wait, can you feel this?" She grabbed hold of Claire's left hand, which was not cut, and squeezed.

Claire shook her head. "My entire left arm feels numb."

Shana swore, to everyone's surprise. "I think he might have cut your nerve endings. Hold still, this _will_ hurt."

Dart pulled off the glove on Claire's right hand and shoved it into her mouth. 

For a long while, Claire endured the pain, biting down on the glove as Shana probed the wound and cleaned it. She couldn't feel the wound itself, but the skin around it hurt like hell.

It took a while for her to bandage the wound. "Claire, you caught the sword as it was swinging up but it went through your arm and into Lavitz. Luckily, the sword didn't go through your bone, but it did go through the tissues in your arm and the muscles. I can stop the bleeding, but…I don't think you'll be able to use your left arm anymore."

Oh…

"Oh." Claire said. 

"Gods!" Dart yelled. "There has to be something else you can do, Shana! Mom's a fighter! How can she not be able to use her left arm?"

"I'm sorry, Dart… Wait a minute." Shana sat back suddenly and Claire spit out the glove with a gasp. "The White Silver Dragon, _my_ Dragon, is the Dragon of Healing."

"That's right!" Rose stood up straight from where she had been slouching against the wall. "In the Dragon Campaign the White Silver Dragon healed the injuries of the Dragoons and other Dragons."

"Claire's not a Dragoon, but…it's worth a shot." Shana placed one tiny hand on the long cut and the other hand on her Dragoon Spirit. "White Silver Dragon!" She beseeched, murmuring a prayer.

And suddenly pain shot through Claire's arm.

"Aah! Shana, _what are you doing?_" She screamed, jumping up off the cot, dragging Dart to his feet. 

Shana jumped and clapped her hands. "It worked! Oh, I didn't think it was going to work! Claire, if you can feel that pain, then that means that your nerves are healing!"

"Oh. Wow. Amazing." 

Claire stared at her arm in amazement as the pain grew more powerful, and then less. It seemed to stop at a sharp pain and some blood, but she wasn't in any life-threatening situation anymore. "Oh gods, Shana, you did heal me. It's amazing. I didn't know the power of the White Silver Dragon was so powerful."

"Can you help Lavitz the same way?" Albert asked.

"I can try." Shana said, placing one hand on Lavitz's wound, making him hiss and gasp in his sleep. 

A few moments later he stopped writhing, and the breathing seemed to return to normal.

"It worked. I think." Albert said, seizing Shana's hand and kissing it. "Thank you."

She flopped like a rag doll when he shook her hand. "You're welcome. But he's still not fully healed, not by far. It's going to be a long and painful recovery, but he'll definitely make it. And Claire, with a few more healings, I think you'll be fine in a couple of weeks."

Claire embraced the younger girl with her right arm. "Thank you, Shana."

The cellar door clattered and Haschel ran in, followed by Lavitz's mother, hysterically crying. Albert caught her before she could fling herself onto her son's injured body and spoke to her calmly, trying to placate her. 

Claire looked at her father and said, "I'm sorry, Master, but…"

She fainted.

"Claire? Claire?"

The voice was soothing, gently lulling her out of unconsciousness. "Shana?" She asked, struggling to open her eyes.

"No." A gentle hand touched her eyelids, helping her to open them. "My name is Rose. Remember me?"

"Of course." Claire sat up. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Some people get amnesia from a hit to the head. You fainted, and hit your head on the corner of the cot. How are you feeling?"

"My arm hurts and my head hurts but that's it. Otherwise I'm fine." She adjusted her eyes. "Where are everyone else?"

"Lavitz is currently resting in Shana's room. Shana's parents, and Mrs. Slambert will be here to take care of them. Shana's helping the town restore itself and to heal some other people. She's been weak from all this magic but she keeps going." Rose's lips twitched for a moment. "She's not quite as weak as she keeps thinking she is. At least she tries." She shook her head as if embarrassed. "Dart's pacing the town from one end to the next, with his mother and his best friend both injured. Haschel's sparring him to keep him from going insane. Albert is taking a break from his Dragoon training, which I was supervising."

"Yes, well, I feel bad for him." Claire said jokingly, pulling the bandage off. She did so gingerly, because her arm _did_ hurt. She was glad it hurt. "Oh."

Her arm had just about healed itself. It throbbed like a deep cut, but there was no more blood or severed tissues or anything except a long scar running from shoulder to forearm. "Wow."

"The power of Dragons is indeed marvelous." Rose agreed. "Claire, may I ask you a question?"

"I ought to be flattered that you're talking to me at all. You never initiate conversation. Go on, what's your question?"

"How do you know so much about the Dragon Campaign?" 

"My husband was a fanatic about it. He studied it and he persuaded me to study it. It's an interesting subject for the fifty percent of the population those who believe it actually existed."

"Yes, it's very sad to know that 50% of the people don't think it happened, considering that the Dragon Campaign is what set them free. Otherwise they would still be slaves to Melbu Frahma." Rose hit her fist against the cot and it shook even more. She stared at her hand for a while, then uncurled her fist, nodding apologetically to Claire. "What was your husband's name?"

Claire found this a strange question, but Rose seemed truly interested, so she replied, "Zieg."

There was a change in Rose's face. A drastic change, as if she had just been splashed with a lake of cold water.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." The warrior woman replied. "Later on I'll tell you."

"Okay." Claire knew better than to try and draw an answer out of Rose "How do you know so much about the Dragon Campaign? And don't say you've been studying it all your life. You know things no person does."

Rose smirked. "I will tell you, but you must give me your word you don't tell the others."

"I give you my word that I will not tell the others. I will keep it a secret."

"Very well. You're partly wrong and partly right. I did study it for all my life, but my life has been longer than you can imagine." She leaned forward, tilted her head so that the dark strands of hair slid across her shoulders. "I was part of the Dragon Campaign."

Claire blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I was the original darkness Dragoon!" Rose's teeth showed as she grinned. "I fought alongside the others in the Dragon Campaign. I have been studying it all my life. All eleven thousand years of it!"

She's gotta be crazy.

"I'm not crazy, Claire. I know that's what you think. How else can I know so much about it?"

"Good point."

"Mom? Are you awake yet?" Dart's voice came from the cellar opening.

Rose helped Claire to her feet. "We'll speak of this later. Keep your promise."

"Mom, how do you feel?" Dart asked.

"I feel…okay, I think. My arm hurts, but I've never been so happy to feel pain before. I could have lost my arm…I can't get over that. I was _this close_ to never being able to punch with my left arm again. I was so scared for a moment, Dart."

"Thanks to all the gods that Shana knew how to use the Dragoon Spirit. I don't think there was any mortal way to save your arm." 

"Yes. You're right." His words caused Claire to remember something. "Excuse me, Dart. I have to do something." She slipped away from him, into the forest around Seles. She paused, making sure that he wasn't following her or spying on her.

"I wonder what this is…" She murmured to herself, reaching into her pocket and pulling out the object that Lloyd had pushed into her hand. It was a small leather drawstring pouch, the kind that potions came in. 

It was a potion bottle that was inside, but it wasn't a Healing Potion inside the bottle, that she could be sure of once she sniffed it. It smelled like eucalyptus and half-dissolved sugar, not at all like the bitterness of a Healing Potion.

What was she supposed to do with this, swallow it?

In a flash of inspiration she tore the bandaged off her arm and poured the potion onto her wound.

She screamed as the liquid-like substance washed through her wound. 

But when the pain of the potion went away, so did the pain in her arm.

Claire stared at her arm in mild disbelief. The dull pain that had been bothering her had subsided, leaving only a pleasant numbness that she could feel through. The scar had completely closed up as well.

Wow. Thanks.

She wrapped the bandage around her arm again. _Lloyd attacked King Albert, which should make him an enemy, since I fight for the side of Basil. But then why would he give me this potion? I don't understand. Is he on our side or theirs? Is he friend or enemy?_

Shaking her head, she ran back to the others. 


	11. Entry Eight: I'm Sorry

Diary ~  __

Diary ~ 

The pain is completely gone now, leaving only that scar. Shana says that once she gets back to full power she can try to erase the scar but it's unlikely that it will work. Oh well, not such a big loss. A warrior can't worry too much about her appearance, right? But Dart is infuriated by this, saying that if he sees Lloyd again he will kill him.

Father's been training me again. But not quite so harshly, just a few pointers, maybe a few sparring matches now and then. It's a bit of a relief to know that he won't criticize me again, or push me too hard. But at the same time I am so afraid that he will again. That feeling is unshakable and it's terrible. I don't think I'll ever be able to really relax. 

But then again, do moms get days off?

Oh right. I'm getting off the topic again. There are a couple of important things that happened.

Rose really is the original Dragoon. She's given extensive proof. It's really amazing. But she won't tell me anything further than that.

Father's a Dragoon now. I can call him Father now. I'll explain why later. 

We've ended the war. Finally, a peace between Basil and Sandora, a united Serdio! King Albert is now sole ruler of the kingdom of Serdio, but he's leaving the repairs of the country to his council for a while because he is coming with us. 

Maybe I should start from the beginning. Yeah, it's usually best to start there.

Albert decided that the war couldn't keep going on. It's been happening for twenty years and it was time to end it. What better way to end it but to go directly to its source? We were going to invade Kazas, the Black City, the capital of Sandora. 

Lavitz is resting in Seles. Oh yeah, he woke up for a while after we returned from Kazas. He thanked me for my help, thanked the others for bringing him here, thanked Father for bringing his mother, thanked Shana for helping to heal him. His gratitude is genuine and makes me feel warm. He didn't stay conscious for long but he made King Albert promise that we send letters updating our situation to him once in a while. He also promised that as soon as he was able he would return to Bale and help the council and the knights to restore calm to all of Serdio. 

Wow, it's hard to write in this flickering firelight. Anyway, we got into Kazas all right; nobody gave us a second glance. Some drunk guy tried to hit on Shana but got hit by Dart. 

We found a little boy that helped us. His name was Popo and he was the representative of some underground group trying to end the war. It broke my heart seeing him, only eight or nine years old and yet he knew so much about suffering and the war. He said that it didn't matter who won the war as long as the fighting stopped because his people in the slums were suffering. Dart promised that we would stop the war so Popo showed us a secret passageway into the Black Castle. 

One of the researchers in the Castle, playing with different-colored fire, told us that in order to get to Emperor Doel, we needed to open the elevator, and for that we needed to find the red, blue, and yellow stones. So we split up into two groups. I traveled with Father and Shana. 

We got the yellow stone from the commander of the Sandoran forces. I recognized him and he recognized Shana and I. 

I entered first, nearly attacked him because he was the one who dragged Shana to Hellena Prison. But he spoke first.

"How did you get in here? Never mind. It doesn't matter anymore. I remember you. You were the woman in Seles. You managed to down quite a number of my troops." I remember feeling Father's approval. 

"And you." He noticed Shana. "You are the girl from Seles."

"Why did you kidnap her?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "It is far too late for explanations." He put his hand on his sword heavily, sighed. "I had my orders; I had to carry them out. All I know is that I had very strict, very direct orders to get the girl from Seles. She reacted to a magical object that the emperor had given me so we knew it was her." He paused, spoke again before I could ask. "I know what you're here for. Take it." He held out the yellow stone.

"You are betraying your emperor?" Father asked.

"No. I am saving him. Bring him out of his madness, I implore you!"

We regrouped with Dart, Albert, and Rose by the elevator. They had the blue and red stones. After inserting them in the elevator we were taken to the top floor. 

We had to fight Kongol to get to Doel. Kongol fought loyally. He truly cares for his emperor. And despite his strength, we defeated him. I could tell that Father is impressed by how much my skills have improved. I am glad. 

Doel was…a Dragoon. The Violet Dragoon, elemental thunder. 

I don't like describing the battles in a diary. What's to say? You either win or lose. 

We won. 

Doel spoke to Albert, apologizing, and telling him some things that he needed to know about Sandora. To the rest of us he said that he didn't know why Shana was kidnapped. He was receiving orders from Emperor Diaz through a messenger. 

"Emperor Diaz is dead!" Rose yelled. "He died eleven thousand years ago!"

"I don't know that much about the Dragon Campaign, young lady, but I do know that I am getting my orders from Diaz, or at least someone who is remarkably like Diaz. I get my orders through a messenger, a Wingly named Lloyd."

Okay, so I was right. Lloyd is a traitor. He must have been Albert's counselor just so he could get the Moon Gem. Oh right, the Moon Gem is a spiritual gift passed through Albert's bloodline. It carries great magical power and Albert comes with us to get it back. 

Diaz told us that Lloyd was heading for Tiberoa, another continent. As he died, the Dragoon Spirit tugged itself off and hovered in the air. It paused and jolted, shivering, as if it didn't know what to do.

Rose frowned, reaching out a hand to touch it gently. "Why is it just staying there?" She asked. 

It pulled out of her grip and flew around my head once and once around Father's head. 

"It can't decide between Claire and Haschel?" Shana wondered.

"That might be it." Rose replied. "Though it's very rare that Dragoon Spirits do that. It's either one master or not at all."

At that point I backed off. "Dragoon Spirit, power of the Violet Dragon, I don't deserve your power. Give it to my father. He will perform the job better than I possibly can."

The Dragoon Spirit bounced in the air and latched around my father's neck.

"Oh great, so now I'm the Violet Dragoon?" 

Okay, here's the point of my entry. Well, one point anyway. I think I've resolved things with Father by the little talk. Shana couldn't sleep, wondering about what the commander and emperor had said about her. She started crying from the stress. 

As I had so many times before, I sang her to sleep. The lullaby I had composed twenty years ago had always managed to ease her into sleep. Soon she was sleeping peacefully, and so was Dart, in his sleeping bag nearby.

"I always knew you would make a good mother." Father said from the doorway, and I walked a bit farther away with him so we wouldn't disturb the children. Children? They're adults!

"I love the both of them." I told him.

"Claire, why didn't you tell me that you were with child? Why did you run away?"

I was so surprised. Father actually didn't know why I ran away!

"Master, you always thought that my training was the most important thing in the world. But I never had a chance to fully grow up. I never got to play with my friends as a child, never got to pick flowers and sing songs, never got to fall in love. Training in the Rouge martial arts was the only thing in my world. I grew sick of it. And when the traveler came to Rouge, I was obsessed with what he could tell me, what he could teach me. So many things in the world that didn't have to do with fighting! We fell in love and when I realized I was pregnant, I knew that I couldn't stay. You would be so upset, and as soon as he reached the age, I knew you would train your grandson as well. I didn't want that to happen. I wanted to give him a chance to grow up, so I ran away."

Father sighed then. "Fighting was important to me. I was a master of the Rouge arts, one of the only masters. I wanted my daughter to be one too, to know that pride. I didn't know that you would hate it so. I never realized." He toyed with the Dragoon Spirit. "Tell me, Claire, why did you reject the Dragoon Spirit?"

"Because I see the others with their Spirits and I know that I can never be like them. I have to watch over them as a mother, and I can't share the Dragoon magic with them. Besides, I wouldn't be able to do the job properly anyway."

"Why do you think that?"

For some reason his remark made me angry. Twenty years of cooped up hatred and fear and anger spilled out. I remember jumping to my feet and yelling. "Why do YOU think, Master? Because of you! Ever since I started my training, at six years old, right up until I ran away at eighteen, all you've done was criticize me! Nothing I ever did was good enough for you! You found fault in everything I did! I lived with criticism all my life! I began to doubt myself! Always, every day, I was useless, careless, stupid. I began to think that I was. The only reason I'm not a screwed up mental breakdown psychiatry patient right now is because Zieg taught me that I wasn't. But criticism followed me. Even when I ran away, practiced by myself, I could still hear you accusing me of not doing things correctly, calling me useless." 

My shouting had awoken Dart and Shana, and brought the others to curiosity.

Father sighed again. "I think I understand why you ran away now. And after you left, I began to realize how harsh I made your training."

"Once we began training, you weren't my father anymore. You told not to call you father, but to call you master."

"Yes. I guess I was trying to raise you too fast. You grew up too fast. I'm sorry, Claire."

I didn't know how to respond to that. 

"I shouldn't have trained you so hard. In doing that, I guess I pushed you away, huh?" He pushed his hair back, readjusted his sweatband. "I'm sorry that you lost your father."

Well, that was surprising. He was apologizing, talking about it. It was what I had been waiting for, wasn't it? So I reached over and hugged him. "But now I've found my father again." I pulled back, twirled a strand of my long hair—dark like Father's—around my finger. "To be perfectly honest, you weren't the full reason I nearly became insane. It was also because of Ilana."

"She was one of my other students, wasn't she?" 

"Yes. Remember that day, the day before I ran away? I was sparring with Ilana and you were watching. You were criticizing me again, saying that I was useless. I was so angry, but I could never yell back to you. So I took my anger out in my fighting. I punched Ilana in my rage, and she fell to the ground. Remember that?"

"Yes."

"You ran to her side, to see if she was okay. I was so upset. I killed her. And you started yelling at me again, so I ran. I was upset because you ran to her side immediately as soon as she was hurt. When I was hurt, you only stood to the side, screaming at me to get up. But when she was hurt you automatically ran to her."

Again Father was genuinely upset and sorry. "Claire, that was because I wanted to make you strong. I…I wasn't raising you properly. I'm sorry."

I held up a hand to keep him silenced. I had to keep talking. "That was part of it. Another part was that I killed her. I killed someone, Father. Never before did I do that. Sparring, defeating, seeing your opponent on the ground writhing in pain is so very different from seeing your opponent unmoving and limp on the ground. Dead." __

"Claire, Ilana survived that."

Surprise, again. "What?"

"Ilana didn't die. You didn't kill her. It was a powerful punch, and she was unconscious for maybe a little less than a week but she didn't die."

I remember that I sank down to a log in relief. "Oh thank the gods…all these years I thought I killed her." It was true. For twenty years I thought that I had killed one of my friends.

"No. She's safe. Got married to the carpenter's son, I think."

"Jod? She married that stupid lug?" I made a face and Father laughed and I laughed with him before I noticed everyone else. "What? Why are you all standing around? Shana, Dart, weren't you two asleep?"

"Uh…yeah, Mom. But then we heard yelling and we got up."

"The father-daughter relationship has been smoothed over?" That was Albert. "That's good. You only have one father, you know. My father was killed. Now I can't see him anymore and I regret that."

Dart started calling Father by different names now, sometimes Master, sometimes Haschel, sometimes Grandfather. I began to call him Father. Not Master anymore. It was an unusual change, but welcome. I had never seen Father so happy before.


	12. Entry Nine: Fletz

Diary ~  __

Diary ~ 

Linen! Roasted pork! Silver forks! 

It feels so good to be back in civilization! I'm lying on a bed with clean sheets that smell like fresh water under the sun and there are imported tiles on the wall and beautiful chandeliers on the ceiling and a plush ankle-deep sea-blue carpet on the floor. It feels so good. I have never been treated with such courtesy before. I feel like curling up and yawning like a cat.

When we arrived in Fletz, the capital of Tiberoa, Rose and I both sensed something wrong. I may not be an eleven-thousand-year-old Original Dragoon but I've a sensitive mind for a human. But Lloyd was nowhere to be found so we all just wandered around getting a feel for the land and to ask if anyone had seen Lloyd. By the way, we crossed a bridge that was named after me. Or at least someone with my name. 

Princess Emille made an appearance. She was the elder of the two princesses of Tiberoa. Her beauty, gracefulness, and kindness were renowned throughout all of Endiness. Well, she was very beautiful, but nowhere near graceful and kind. She was very rude and seemed to bounce to her steps with restrained energy. She yelled at a pregnant woman and disappeared back inside the castle once bandits were mentioned. What a child! So rude! If she were my child I would make sure she was disciplined for such breaches of etiquette. Albert was very upset with this. He told me that when he was younger, he had an arranged marriage with the princess. He had obviously fallen in love with her as a child and couldn't believe that she and this person were one and the same.

We wanted to enter the Twin Castle to warn the Tiberoan king of Lloyd but the guard at the gate wouldn't let us inside due to a large amount of bandits that had been wandering around. Albert has traveled with us incognito and didn't want to reveal his identity, so there was no way to get through.

While most of them went to the bar, Shana and I continued shopping. It was good to have a female companion shopping with me. Rose didn't want to come, to nobody's surprise. But I guess that after eleven thousand years of shopping, a girl tends to get tired. I still have doubts on whether or not she is an Original. The idea just seems so completely crazy. But she had quoted things nobody but my husband had known and told me other things about the Dragon Campaign. And besides, how else can she be such a fine warrior? Also, she just has that age-wisdom, so many accumulated years of it. 

Shana and I ran into a man named Fester at the marketplace. He was an astronomer, as most people in Fletz are, and the personal governor of the younger Princess Lisa. He told us of Tiberoa's current condition. Six months ago, there was a sudden increase in thieves and bandits and "hooligans." Bandits ran loose everywhere, but struck only at night, so guards patrolled the streets and the gateways in and out were barred. He also told us a bit about astronomy, though nothing we didn't know.

We told Dart about the bandits and the night policy and we made it in time to the hotel to rent a room for all of us. There wasn't enough so Dart and Albert volunteered to find a place in a civilian home. The day after they told me that it was a gardener named Nello, who struck a friendship with Albert very quickly. They spoke of greenery.

The next morning we set out farther into Tiberoa, in pursuit of Lloyd. I had not thought of him for a while before, automatically classifying him into enemy, but later on I will tell you what happened. We traveled through the deserted Barrens and I began to see why Nello and Albert wanted to give greens to it. The land was living up to its name: barren. It would be much more beautiful if there were a few flowers here and there, some grass…

Anyway, we were attacked by bandits halfway through the canyon, some idiot Mappi and some other flunkies. The battle was short; Father and I took care of them by ourselves, showing off some of the Rouge arts to the others. But Father's Dragoon Spirit was stolen. Mappi wasn't smart but he was fast and he managed to swipe the Spirit away from Father's neck. He ran off with it. 

By the way, we haven't gotten it back and Rose is EXTREMELY pissed off that we had let it be stolen in the first place. 

We arrived at the next town a bit dejected because of the lost Spirit. It looks like we were going to have to invade the bandits' lair to get it back. While the others went to the bar to catch up on news and see what was going on, I wandered the town—Donau—which was full of the flowers that I wanted to have in the Barrens. It was a beautiful city, all sweet fragrances and butterflies and the occasional bandit but nothing I couldn't handle by myself.

I was heading for the Item Shop to pick up some more Healing Potions and a Mind Purifier as Shana had instructed when I heard a scream. A woman, crying for help.

Three bandits were harassing a tiny blonde woman, cornering her against a fence. I yelled at them to leave her alone. 

"Hey, this one can sell for a pretty high price too." Not a smart thing to say to me. I took the three of them out easily.

"Thank you." The woman said to me. "My name is Wink, I'm a Sacred Sister in Mille Seseau. If you are ever in Deningrad and need help, call me."

I remember Wink. She had helped me find a home in Mille Seseau for a while when Dart was still a child. But I didn't tell her this. I just smiled and thanked her, seeing her safely into a store.

"I would say what a surprise it is to see you here, but I know why you're here." A voice said, and then I realized that I had overlooked the sound of a sword unsheathing when I went to rescue Wink.

I turned, threw a punch before I even saw him. Surprisingly, he caught it gently but firmly, then released it. "Please don't. I wouldn't like to hurt you." His sword was back in his sheath. He had meant to use it to help the woman, not to use against me, but then again, he didn't need to. He was physically stronger and didn't need his sword to defeat me.

"And yet you slashed my arm open and nearly killed my friend!" 

"I apologize for the pain that I have caused. I was merely defending myself. I couldn't let anyone get in my way."

I glared at him for a moment but it was impossible to stay angry at him for some reason. "Who are you, Wingly?"

"My name is Lloyd. I thought you knew that."

"I know your name but who are you? Are you a traitor to Basil? A spy for Sandora? Who are you now that the war is over? Are you an enemy or a friend?"

Lloyd paused. "Can we have this conversation sitting down? I've been traveling for a while. I'll buy you a drink at the tavern."

Against my better judgment I went. Nobody cared what you said at the tavern anyway. When we were seated I repeated my question. Do you know what he said?

"I am not a traitor to Basil because I have never sworn allegiance to it and I am no spy for Sandora because I work not for that country. I work for myself, and for my personal goal. I am a messenger and I don't care about the war." He stopped, looked at me until I felt uncomfortable. "I am not your enemy but I will stand in your way if need be. I would like to be your friend but I will have to kill you if you try to hinder me in my personal quest."

"Why do you only speak to me?"

"Because the others would kill me on sight. And because you're the only one who will listen and believe me." He really does have a charming smile.

"Who says I believe you? You tried to kill me."

"I've no rebuttal there. All I can offer is my apologies. How's your drink?"

"Stronger than I'm used to." I admitted. "Why do you do this? Why do you want the Moon Gem?"

"Because I'm working for a higher authority."

"Good gods, are you some sort of religious fanatic? Are you speaking about Soa?"

"Gods no. Not quite that high. But if I get the Divine Moon Objects then I can accomplish my goal."

"What's your goal?"

"Sorry, Claire, but I don't think I can tell you that yet. I have a question. How did you identify the Dragon Buster just by seeing it for a second?"

"I've studied the Dragon Campaign for quite a while and I know things that most people don't. My husband taught me. He was a fanatic, and he loved to study it."

"'Loved?'" Lloyd raised a silver eyebrow. "He doesn't like studying it anymore?"

I had to laugh. "I don't think that even death would stop him from studying the Dragon Campaign. But I don't know now…"

"I beg your pardon?"

"He's dead." My voice was only slightly flat.

Lloyd did look sincerely surprised and apologetic. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring back bad memories." He meant it; I forgave him. "I didn't mean to be cruel. Do you believe that from a person who most of the planet thinks is evil?"

"Is my opinion that important to you?" I meant it as a bitter joke.

He took it seriously. "Yes. I'm not evil, or at least I don't think so. I don't want you to think I am evil either. It's a nasty word. My goal is not evil." He glanced out the window. "I saw that you saved that woman. Nice moves. You've just hurt three humans, which some people would find evil. But you did it for a good cause, to save that nun."

"Sacred Sister."

"Whatever. It is the same with me. I'm not evil, Claire." He smiled, tossing some Gold onto the bar. "I don't think your son would think the same way though. I'm leaving before he can find me. But I can't tell you where I'm going. Blood is thicker than water after all. But I'll talk to you again. I like talking to you." He took my hand and kissed it, and left the tavern.

I was sitting there for a moment before my senses kicked in again, when Shana appeared. She asked me what was wrong, why was my face so pale? I told her I didn't feel well, but we needed to get going.

I don't know what Lloyd's goal is, or if he is evil. All I know is that when he starts speaking it's impossible not to agree with him. He seems mocking but in a sincere way, not mean. Just like…I don't know how to describe him. Maybe when I find a way I'll write it.

But I'm sounding like a little girl fawning over a crush again. 

Shana told me that they had found a young woman here. That woman's fiancé had run off to fight the bandits. Not a smart move, obviously, because he was captured. The woman Kate had begged us to help save him. While they were running along the streets they met Kate's friend, who had…insisted on traveling with us.

Her name is Meru and I'm willing to bet that she's looking over my shoulder right now, am I correct? …Go away, Meru, this is private… Okay, she made a face and left. She really is a kind and sweet young girl but a bit… energetic. She's like a bundle of sugar-high puppies. But she's a dancer—though what kind I'm not sure—and she's nice and she fights pretty well with a giant hammer, plus we can't shake her off, so she's coming with us. I've noted that Rose and Dart—the two least talkative—are staying far away from her. But having her around kinda reminds me of the children of Seles. I like having children around. Meru must be at least sixteen, but she acts so childish and reminds me of Shana at a very young age. Father seems to get along with her rather well.

We had to return to Fletz because in order to get to the bandits' hideout we needed to pass through the Valley of Shifted Gravity or something like that. But to go through the Valley we must have the pass for it or else the guards wouldn't let us through. But the guard wouldn't let us into the castle again so Shana had the idea of getting Fester. After all, he was the governor of Princess Lisa, wasn't he? He would be seen in the palace often.

It worked. Fester helped us to get past the guard and into an audience with the King Zior. The king was…to nicely put it, a bit scatterbrained. A bit stupid to be king of a country, as Rose said. I have to say I agree. Look at the difference between him and Albert! But he gave us the pass and invited us to stay the night, so who am I to complain?

We met the younger of the two princesses first. Actually she summoned us and beseeched our help. Her dear sister Emille had changed drastically, she said, starting from half a year ago, when she hit her head falling off a horse. Ever since then she was rude and acted in "a manner not becoming of a princess that is heir to the Tiberoan throne." Princess Lisa was sure that it wasn't just because of the horseback riding. Emille was an entirely different person and must be related to the events of the bandits, which had also started half a year ago. 

She asked us for our help. We agreed to go to the bandits' hideout and find out what we could. Which fits in with our plans anyway. Lisa was a person who spoke to the stars, and she told us that the stars said never to hand over the Moon. 

That meant the Moon Dagger, the heirloom of the royal house of Tiberoa. Which meant that Lloyd was going to be here. 

During dinner, we got an up-close look of Princess Emille. Gods, what a slob! She practically put her face to the plate and slurped it all up. What princess acts like this? Zior seemed not to notice, passing it off as a hungry appetite, mere anxiety of the Coming of Age ceremony in a couple of weeks, when Emille would receive the Moon Dagger as her royal gift, passing the throne from her father to her. Emille reacted very strangely when we mentioned the bandits. 

Afterwards, Lisa's maid led us to the guestroom, where I'm writing now, in the beginning when I said that stuff about clean sheets. It really is such a relief to be on soft cushions and eat delicate food and have an actual tub full of steamy hot water instead of the frigid lake water that I can only stand for about five minutes. 

We set off tomorrow morning. In the meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy the royal treatment.


	13. Entry Ten: Human

Diary ~  __

Diary ~ 

Shana isn't human.

Oh Soa, how it pains me to write that. Staring at the sentence brings tears to my eyes again.

But she isn't human. Not anymore. Maybe she never was a human, or maybe she started out as one and then changed, but whatever the case she has done something so strange and mystical that even the Dragoons were amazed.

We were traveling through the Valley of Corrupted Gravity. Meru had picked up a small pebble and tossed it at Father's back, as a joke, but it reversed directions and struck her in the face, causing her to yell indignantly and kick it off the ledge, where it once again flew back up toward her face. This time she was smart enough to duck and ignore it. It was a bit funny, watching the reactions of the people as they plottedthe pathways across the floating rocks. But it wasn't all that funny when Father nearly fell, and Dart and I had to catch him and pull him up or when the Virage appeared. 

It was bigger than the one that we saw in the Volcano Villude and more powerful. It was blocking the exit, at the top of the Valley, and Shana, small and quick, drawn by voices again, was the first one to reach it. She stood on a platform, staring at it and whenever anyone tried to go up to the Virage she started screaming. I tried jumping the gap but Shana grabbed my arm while I was in the air, jolting me to a stop halfway. My arm slipped out of her grip and I fell. It was a terrible feeling, and I remember screeching my lungs out until I slammed into a floating rock, injuring my leg, but grabbing hold and leaning all my weight against it to keep from falling further. 

Rose and Meru went back the path we went up by to help me. Shana was immediately apologetic, but kept saying that the voices were warning her not to go near it.

Dart took her arms and calmly told her that if we wanted to get out of this crazy valley we would need to get past the Virage. Reluctantly, Shana agreed, telling us to be careful.

Sure enough, as soon as we approached the Virage, it awakened, unfolding its body until it reached full height, towering over us. Meru shrieked in excitement. Nothing seemed to scare her, only excite her into recklessness, as she was the first one to attack, swinging her hammer against it. 

"Sun Fist!" Though Father and I both studied the Rouge arts, our additions were different. 

Shana stayed far away at the battle, shooting her arrows but with her eyes distant and unfocused again. Rose kept casting her strange looks. 

The Virage nearly knocked me into KO with a single attack from its left arm. Dart tossed me a Healing Potion before I could pass out, but the leg that I had smashed into the rock was hurting. Performing my Spinning Shadows addition so soon afterwards was my mistake. It consisted of many spinning kicks and leaps. 

My right leg failed me on one of my jumps, causing me to fall onto my side, wincing.  __

The Virage saw this too, and its arm started to swing down.

"NO! Leave her ALONE!" That voice must have been Shana's; it sounded like hers, sweet and pure. But it was strong and carried power. 

Footsteps sounded and suddenly she was standing at my side. 

"Shana!" Dart yelled, and he and Rose ran forward too. "Mom!" 

"Get away!" Shana screamed, facing the Virage directly, and lifted her arms. 

The strange thing was that she didn't have her bow in her hands. But still she attacked. From her fingers came a blue-tinted fire. It is the only way to describe it. It started from all around her, as if I could see her aura, but then she directed it to her fingers and it streamed forward to the Virage. When it impacted with him, the arm that was attacking me blew off.

It came straight off his body, splattering green blood over me. Shana screamed in pain and anger and fear, the power continuing to flow from her hands to the Virage, pushing it back over the ledge and down into the bottom of the Valley.

Even when it was gone, Shana kept the fire. She was screaming still, unable to shut it off. It was as if she had opened a dam and didn't know how to block it again.

"Shana!" I limped over to her. "Shana, it's okay! Virage is gone!"

"Claire! I can't stop it! I can't stop the power!" She kept screaming, on her knees now. "Dart, help me!"

"Shana!" He didn't know what to do either, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her, slowing the fire by disorienting her but not stopping it.

Rose cursed, filthily, and knelt down beside Shana, putting one hand on Shana's forehead and the other hand on her Dragoon Spirit. She muttered something, and the fire became darker, fading into a purplish color. "Shana, stop it now!" She commanded, clutching her Spirit tighter as if beseeching it. 

Shana slowed the power until small trickles and when the other Dragoons ran over and lifted their spirits, making them glow like miniature suns, magical dust swirling around it. 

When the light faded and I could see again, Shana had fainted onto the ground. Dart picked her up and we ran out of the valley, running away from what had happened. 

Once at a safe distance and in a safe spot we set up camp, and I tended to Shana. I called Rose to me, and she came. 

"You wanted to speak to me?" She asked, sitting on a stool and watching me help Shana.

"Yes. What happened to Shana? Why does she have such power?"

Rose shrugged, adjusting the sleeve of her tunic. "I don't know. She's more powerful than anyone I've seen. Her power…I haven't seen anything like it before, not in the Dragon Campaign or after."

"Don't you know everything?"

"Not everything, Claire. If I did I wouldn't be so confused. I would know what was going on now. Shana is a mystery to me. Her power seems almost godlike. I don't know what happened to her but I managed to shut it off by calling my Dragoon Spirit. I thought her power was light-based, since she is the Light Dragoon and light seems to surround her. But when I tapped into her power, it forced me back and it wasn't light-based. So I tried using my Darkness to faze it, to dull it a bit. It worked, and when the other Dragoons came to help, our power overwhelmed hers and here she is. What's her condition?" 

I turned to look at her. She was asking sincerely, not mocking. I know that she doesn't like Shana all that much, or at least as much as she likes Dart, but she was looking out for her. "I don't know what's wrong with Shana either. I can't find any bruises or cuts or injuries other than the ones from the battle. It's just like she overpowered herself. If I didn't know what happened, I'd just say that she was too tired and collapsed from fatigue."

"But that's not what happened."

I considered that. "That might not be true. When Shana used her power, did you hear the way she screamed, the way she fell to her knees after a while?"

"Are you suggesting that the power she used came from her own reserves? It was draining her own energy?"

"It's possible, isn't it?"

"Very. I didn't think of that. But what sort of Human can do that? For strong Winglies it is possible, but Shana isn't a Wingly. Is she?"

"She can't be." The words were automatic and immediate. "I've watched her grow up and she's never shown any Wingly-like signs or tendencies or anything. She doesn't have their platinum hair, first of all. Not like our little friend Meru."

"Meru is a Wingly." Rose stated. "But she won't tell anyone. She just passes it off."

"She's living in a world where prejudice still exists. Winglies ruled Humans eleven thousand years ago. What we said about the fifty percent? Well, those people would wreak terrible revenge on people that they knew were Wingly survivors." I paused then, looked at Rose. She looked back, quizzical. "Rose, do you hate Winglies for what they did? I would think that you have the most reason to."

She laughed. It surprised me. "I hated Winglies during the war. After all I was only a child when they orphaned me. I became a Dragoon to fight them. They killed all my friends and also, they killed the man that I loved. I was engaged to him. We were supposed to get married. But he was killed by the Wingly Emperor."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I. I hated Winglies. But they are few in number now, and it is eleven thousand years later. They are mere descendants and such. What's the point of revenge? It just goes around and around and never stops until there is one left standing. I try not to hate the Winglies now. I don't like Meru, and maybe a small part of that is because she is a Wingly, but mostly it's because she annoys me." Rose grinned, showing her teeth for a brief second. "It doesn't matter."

"No one else knows about your past, Rose. Why don't you tell them?"

"Would they believe me?"

"I believe you, don't I?" I countered.

"It's not right to tell them. It ruins the entire plan. It's my own past, and it has nothing to do with them." She held out her hands to me, surprisingly and I took them. "I don't show gratitude very well, Claire, but I want to thank you for listening to me. And for believing me."

"Thank you for sharing your past with me." I replied. I think back now and I am looking at her now. She is sitting by herself, as usual, by the fire, cleaning her sword. She always seems alone, but for that moment when she thanked me, I saw into her soul, if only for that brief moment. She is still that confused little child who suffered by herself.

I told this to Father, after Rose and I left Shana to rest. I told Father that Rose seemed too distant, and that she suffered by herself. 

"You suffer by yourself as well." He replied. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to drag other people into my problems."

"Maybe that's what Rose is thinking."

I have to check on Shana again now. Hopefully when we catch up to Lloyd he can tell us what has happened to her. Or I will ask him next time I see him.


	14. Look into the past

Diary ~  ****

Look into the Past

The bandits' lair was in the Home of Gigantos. Shana had awaken in good spirits and good health, ready to fight again, choosing to ignore what had happened in the Gravity Valley. 

There were two priorities: to rescue Lynn, Kate's husband, and to get Father's Dragoon Spirit back. Meru was sent to get Lynn, since he was her friend, and she needed only one other person to go with her because it wasn't that big of a job. Probably sensing their dislike for each other, Dart sent Rose with Meru. Rose left in bad spirits, muttering about how she would be more useful in something other than babysitting.

They had to fight our way to the temple at the top of the steps. Claire kept glancing around her, swallowing. It felt terrible to desecrate a place that had been so holy to the Giganto race, but the Dragoon Spirit was the objective. The thieves were batted aside easily by the five of them. After downing more than half of them, it was rather silent, until they reached a blockade in front of a narrow path, where three more gangsters awaited. 

Two of them were stupid and nondescript and easily overtaken. The third knew the Rouge arts. 

Haschel noticed this the same time his daughter did, and he sent her into the battle alone, holding the others back. Claire didn't mind. It had been a while since she had a good one on one, and could use the maximum force of the Rouge arts. 

It was a good fight, or at least good exercise. It brought her mind back to twenty years ago, but with Haschel encouraging her and yelling tips instead of criticism. The gangster was good enough for an amateur, but she had been studying Rouge arts for nearly thirty-five years and was in no mood to play games. 

"Father, was he a pupil of yours after I left?" It couldn't have been when Claire was there because she knew and remembered all of Father's pupils that she had met. She had become friends with most of them because she had wanted friends desperately.

"I don't think so. I only had a few pupils after you left and before I started searching for you. Thief! Where did you learn the Rouge arts?"

He was silent until Claire stepped on his neck, lightly, but painfully. She relished the moment, missing the days when she could show her power. "The boss taught me! His name is Gehrich! He said he learned it in Rouge!" 

"Gehrich?" Haschel frowned, and Claire swatted his arm.

"Father, how can you forget? _Gehrich_, remember?"

He shook his head. Claire took her foot off the gangster, who ran away quickly. 

"Father, Gehrich was a pupil of yours that you had for a year when I was sixteen. He was friends with me, remember? You had us spar and he beat me and you yelled at me for letting a rookie defeat me."

"Was he the one that had the crush on you?"

__

Leave it up to a father to remember things like that. Claire thought wryly. But that was Gehrich, and now Haschel was infuriated that one of his pupils had run off and went renegade. As they hammered the giant boulder that blocked the way, Haschel spoke to Claire quietly.

"Am I that terrible of a teacher, that my own pupils run from me?"

Dart was watching, and Claire chose her words carefully. "Father, you are not a terrible teacher. I understand why you have pressed me so hard. I ran away not because you were a terrible teacher but because you were a terrible father. But you've changed that now." she added when she saw the hurt in his face. "Gehrich ran away because he couldn't understand the morals and rules that went with learning the Rouge arts, or any martial arts. He just wanted power quickly. He couldn't understand what you taught and that is why he ran."

Claire was deeply involved in what she was saying so that when Albert pried the boulder away with his lance she jumped back in surprise.

When they reached the temple, Meru and Rose caught up, dragging a confused man with them and dangling the Violet Dragoon Spirit between elegant fingers. Gehrich and Mappi sat inside and waited. Gehrich sat on a makeshift carved stone throne and Mappi knelt at his feet like a dog.

"Claire!" Gehrich was surprised to see the dark-haired woman. "Hello."

"Hi. Break up your bandits and leave Tiberoa alone."

"Heh. Women." Mappi snickered. "Always seeking to take control of men."

"We came here to fight, Gehrich." Haschel said. "But equally. Claire and I fight you and your friend here. If you win you get the pride of knowing that you defeated the two most powerful masters of the Rouge arts. If we win, then you get your bandits the hell out of here."

"Fine. Agreed."

"Mom." Dart protested as Claire adjusted her gloves, stretching her arms. "You shouldn't be fighting them. Gehrich can't possibly have become boss if he is weak. If you and Grandfather fight, the two of you are going to get hurt. I can't—"

"Dart!" She snapped. "You are not to interfere no matter what, nor any of your friends. Give me your promise." 

"Mom, this isn't good. I don't think that—"

"A one on one battle is an important battle to me." She told him. "Rouge arts train for this. It's an ancient culture. A single person against a single opponent only, that's the rule. You are not to interfere. Promise?"

Dart squirmed but agreed. "Fine. I promise, Mom. But be careful."

She grinned. "Aren't I always?" _I may be under his command as he is leader of the team but I am still his mother._ She thought, smiling. He silenced, and she stepped up in front of Gehrich, waving the rest of them back. 

"You have a son?" Gehrich asked, incredulous. 

"It's not so surprising." Haschel called from where he faced Mappi, the thief who stole his Dragoon Spirit.

Gehrich looked at Claire and then at Father. "This is unjust. I cannot fight Claire. She was my friend and I still care for her. You have always tried to teach morals and fairness, Master, and I have never been able to understand that, but I know what I am saying. I request that we switch opponents."

Haschel thought about it and nodded. Claire obeyed, facing Mappi.

The fight started when Albert counted it down. Claire dodged Mappi's lunge, grabbed his neck and used it to swing around and deliver a kick to his abdomen, knocking him back. He growled as he got to his feet and approached more cautiously, now knowing that the woman was a capable fighter.

"Come on!" She taunted him, stepping back into her youth.

Mappi dropped, sweeping his leg as if to trip her. She leapt over it, jabbed the side of her hand into his neck. He gagged, backing off, cursing. He scurried back, scrabbling up the wall with sinewy feet and claws attached to his gloves, disappearing into the rafters above.

Claire kept her fists up, pacing the floor, eyes up in the rafters. Who knew where the little bandit would jump from?

"Die!" A shadow dropped in front of her, too fast to counterattack. She leapt back to avoid it, and he landed in a crouch, straightening to run toward her and swinging the claw down. Claire sidestepped, slapping the claws away from him, slammed a tiger palm into his chest, an uppercut to the chin, spinning hook kick to knock him back again.

"Fool." She said to him, disdainful, as she watched him scurry back up into the rafters. She spared a glance to the fight between her father and her old friend. It could go either way; Gehrich had obviously been practicing as much as Haschel.

"Mom, look out!"

Mappi dropped again, landing on her shoulders, giggling wildly, punching at her head. Claire yelled in fury and pain, and did a backward handspring. Mappi, perched atop her shoulders, slammed his head against the ground. 

Claire landed next to the others, rubbing a hand against her head to muffle the pain, tousling her hair in the process. Slowly she walked over to the downed Mappi to make sure he was out.

He sprung to life quickly, tossing something at her as he leapt away. She threw her hands up to protect her face and the cheap bottle smashed against her hands, turning to a sandy fog that exploded across her face. She shrieked in pain, howling as she clawed at her eyes to get the formula out. The Charm Potion, a scientific mixture meant to keep monsters away for a short period of time, reacted badly to human skin, like acid did.

"Mom!"

Claire blocked out the sounds with her screaming, but in her mind she could hear her master yelling at her. It was the voice of twenty years ago instructing her now. _Shut up! Stop screaming! If you don't have your eyes, use your other senses!_

She quelled her screaming with pain, left her eyes alone to listen. She couldn't hear anything over the yelling of her son and his friends, so she gestured at them to quiet. She heard Dart running and stopping suddenly, then Rose saying that he had promised not to interfere. He was yelling at her, but she yelled right back, saying that fighting was an ancient art and that the one-on-one rule had to be honored. She was glad that Rose understood.

Claire tried to ignore this, listening for the sounds of Mappi's footsteps. It wouldn't be easy; the little bandit was quick and quiet. What other senses were there? Touch, taste, and smell. Well, if she could touch him, she wouldn't be in this predicament, would she? But…she could feel the air around her moving when his attack came, but that would most likely be too late. Taste? Ugh. She wasn't even going to think of how that was a possibility. Smell… true, Mappi reeked of sweat and unwashed hair and clothes. But that was only bits and pieces, stinking up the entire room, unable to help her to her best capabilities.

The pain was boiling in her eyes now. Would she go blind forever? 

She heard the snap that meant he was putting the claws back on his hands. A soft click of his shoes on the floor to her left and turned, feeling the air move. She lifted her left arm in an upper block, keeping the fist from impacting on her face. The click came again, to her right, but the air came from the back. He must have moved again.

Pain erupted beside her left eye and dragged down her cheek before she back-fisted blindly, only knocking him back by sheer dumb luck. Claire screamed again, her swollen-shut eyes stinging more than before.

"Claire!" This voice was different, and suddenly she heard Mappi squeak and another thud.

A presence in front of her. She spun away, tried to back fist again but he caught her fist. "It's Gehrich. Claire, stop struggling."

"Get away from my daughter!" Haschel yelled. 

Claire instinctively turned to his voice. "Father?"

"I can help her!" Gehrich insisted. "Let go of me!" 

"Father, stop. Gehrich won't hurt me. Gehrich, you just violated the rules of one on one." 

She heard him unscrewing a bottle cap. "Mappi violated rules too, by throwing the Charm Potion at your eyes. I may not know much about morals, but I know that was wrong. Besides, seeing as how I don't understand the Rouge arts' laws, I don't care about violating the one on one rule. Hold still."

He poured the Healing Potion on her face and Claire fidgeted at the unfamiliar sensation. "Shana, where are you?"

"Here, Claire." Light footsteps, and a hand on her arm. "Are you all right? Is the pain very bad?"

"I will admit that. Where's Mappi?"

"His throat is slit. Mr. Gehrich, please step aside and let me help."

Shana busied herself by tending to Claire's eyes, her motions fluid and gentle, with the others either suggesting cures or yelling in anger and anxiety. When she was finished, she tied a bandage around Claire's head and over her eyes. "Keep this here for a while. I'll take it off in a few days and see how you're doing."

"Will Mom lose her eyesight?" Dart asked.

"I don't think so. The Charm Potion isn't that powerful. She'll just be blind for a week at the most and she'll be in pain for a while but she'll be okay."

"Gehrich, what will you do now?" Haschel asked. "Our one on one has been interrupted and you have broken the rules of Claire's fight."

"Would you rather I let her die?!"

"No. I am glad that you interfered. But what now?"

Gehrich sighed. "You were winning, master. I have nearly no energy left. Let us just say that you won. I will disband the rest of my thieves and leave Tiberoa alone. I cannot say that all of them will listen to me, but without their leader I hope that they will be confused and overtaken by the officials."

"What of you?" That unfamiliar and nervous voice must be Lynn.

"I…I will no longer be a bandit. I'll find a decent job."

"Good." Haschel nodded. "Then here is where we part ways. Goodbye, Gehrich. Keep up your training and keep it sacred."

The team began to leave, with Shana guiding Claire, but Claire paused, asking to be brought back to speak with Gehrich. Shana kept the others away.

"Gehrich, they forgot to ask you an important thing. Are the bandits in some sort of conspiracy with the elder princess of Tiberoa?"

"She's a fake. I don't know what happened to the real princess, but the one in the palace is a fake. Her name is Lenus and she came to us with a business proposition. We keep her secret and help her stay inside the palace, and in return, she makes the king stupid so that the bandits can roam the country and do what we do best."

"I see. Thank you. And also…" Claire lifted her chin, knowing that Gehrich was taller than she was and by the sound of his breathing, he was in front of her. She remembered how he had turned red when she spoke to him years ago. "I know that you wouldn't have accepted the terms that Father gave you. He said that if you won you would receive the pride of knowing that you beat the Rouge masters. But that would not be enough for you. Why did you accept? Pride and honor were things that you didn't understand."

"I still don't understand them. But I knew that I was going to lose anyway so it didn't matter what my winning terms were."

"What do you mean?"

"I have improved in my fighting, Claire, as you saw. But once I realized that I would have to fight you as well as Master, I knew I would lose. If Mappi fought you and won, I would have to kill him, and violate the rules, canceling my fight and losing. If Mappi had lost to you, I would have fought Master alone. If he had won I would be defeated, and if he had lost, the rules dictate that the two winners would have to fight, which would be you and I. I would lose to you. I wouldn't be able to fight you."

Claire nodded slowly. "Thank you, Gehrich. It seems you are closer to understanding honor than you originally thought."

"Goodbye, Claire. Take care of yourself."

Reaching out for Shana's hand, Claire was led away from the temple and Gehrich, and Mappi's dead body. When they caught up to the others, Claire heard another voice and Shana told her in anxious gasps that Kongol was talking to Dart. 

Led over to them, Claire listened.

"Kongol not enemy anymore. Kongol fought for Emperor Doel. Emperor Doel is dead. No need to fight anymore. But Kongol wanted to see people who defeated him. Kongol saw fight and honor and rules. Kongol want to be part of team and honor."

"He does seem to be sincere." Albert was saying to Dart. "And he's a good fighter, as we all know." 

Dart agreed, letting Kongol join the team. The Giganto immediately took the role seriously, fighting with heart and strength, and especially defending Claire, who was at the moment, rather helpless. This got him on Dart's good side as they returned to Fletz.


	15. Entry Eleven: Moon Dagger

Diary ~  __

Diary ~ 

Thank Soa that my eyesight has returned. It took us ten days to get Lynn safely home, stay there at the mayor's insistence, and then get back to Fletz. My eyes were blurry for a while but when we reached Fletz, I could more or less see fine. Now I can see perfectly, and I am glad, because there is much to write about.

When we reached Fletz there were fireworks and music piping out of the palace and excited people. When we found Kaffi, she told us—to a great extent—that this was the day of the Coming of Age ceremony for Princess Emille. It didn't matter that nobody liked her, because in this dreary time everyone needed a morale booster.

The guard at the palace gate told us that Princess Emille—or rather the impostor—had replaced the guards inside with ones that acted "very strangely". Knowing that we had Fester to vouch for us and that we were admitted once before, the guard let us through.

Meru commented the guards seemed funny and Father told her that it was more than likely that they were Lenus' bandit friends. 

Dart told us to split into two teams. The first team—Dart, Albert, Meru, and Shana—was to inform Princess Lisa of the truth and to find the real Princess Emille, who had to be somewhere in the palace. The second team—Father, Kongol, Rose, and myself—was to stop the fake from getting the Moon Dagger.

Using the fact that we were the king's friends to intimidate the guards, we made our way to the Chamber of the Sun, the throne room. The fake Princess Emille was kneeling in front of her "father", hands lifted and ready to accept the Moon Dagger.

"Impostor!" I screamed, getting everyone's attention and freezing the King. Rose and Kongol took out the guards.

"Stop them! Stop them!" The fake screamed, but the last guard was already disposed of. She spun and snatched the Moon Dagger from King Zior's hands and leapt onto the outside balcony.

"You're cornered. Give the Dagger back, charlatan." Rose drew her sword. It was hard to ignore Rose without her sword, much less with it, and nearly impossible not to do what she said. But Lenus did, jumping onto the railing. 

"I can't." Lenus shed her disguise, showing her original form, a lithe but rather slutty woman in revealing battle gear. "I'm doing this for my love!"

It was that last sentence that let me piece together what happened. Lloyd wanted the Divine Moon Objects, he had told me himself, proven when he took the Moon Gem from King Albert. The Moon Dagger was the second of the Divine Moon Objects, and it would wind up in Lloyd's hands somehow, most likely through someone he would be using as a pawn. Lenus said she was doing this for her love. Lloyd must have pretended to be interested in her so that she would offer to help him get the Moon Dagger. That bastard. Using a woman's feelings to use her.

Of course, I didn't think that last part at that time. All I knew was that she was doing this for Lloyd, so I yelled, "Lloyd!"

She fell for it, turning to see what I was yelling about, to see if Lloyd was there. But I was already lunging forward, grabbing the Moon Dagger from her. 

In the same motion, I had thrown my body weight against her, and she fell from the railing.

"Oh no. I didn't mean to kill her!"

Many heavy footsteps, and team one reappeared, with Dart in the front, standing next to the person who must be the true Princess Emille. She was very beautiful. Lenus' disguise was nothing compared to the original. This was the Emille from the legends and stories, the beautiful, graceful princess. Her very presence caused everyone to stop and stare at her for a moment. 

"What happened? Where's the Moon Dagger? Where's the impostor?" Dart asked. 

"The Moon Dagger is right here, but I think your mother just killed Lenus." Haschel said.

"No." Kongol pointed down, then up as a figure floated back up. Lenus had wings.

"Platinum hair." Rose murmured to me. Lenus was a Wingly. No wonder she was interested in Lloyd. But I'm not a Wingly… but then I'm not interested in him!

"You little bitch!" Lenus swore at me, diving forward on her wings. 

I tightened my grip on the hilt of the Moon Dagger, clutching it tight against me and dropping flat onto my back to kick her as she flew above me. No need. Kongol swung his axe at her, and she fluttered to the side to avoid impaling herself. It drew a gash on her side, but still she came. Father took her this time, colliding his fist with her so that she dropped to the balcony floor again. She spit up blood, and Rose frowned, lashing out her sword to flick something off of Lenus' neck. 

The Wingly woman screamed at her and stared at the Moon Dagger in my hands. I ran deeper into the throne room to the others, letting them protect the Divine Moon Object in my hands. Finally, a heavy sweep of Meru's hammer threw Lenus out into the air again. She cursed and retreated. 

I had cut my hands holding the dagger and Shana bandaged them for me. She says that I shouldn't be writing yet, but I have to.

Afterwards, the real Princess Emille explained everything to her father, the council, and her people. The King requested that I give him the Moon Dagger, and I yelled, "No!" to everyone's surprise.

"I mean, Lenus will be back for it. It will be better if I keep it with me. We will go to the third continent to keep their Divine Moon Object safe as well." I fibbed it up on the spot.

"Miss Claire has a point, Father." Emille said. "Let her keep the Moon Dagger for now. It is just a symbol after all. I will still be queen without it."

The Coming of Age ceremony was beautiful, using an exquisite crystal knife that also radiated magic power instead of the Moon Dagger, which I keep in my right boot. Emille spoke at length with Albert about political affairs, but it deepened into more personal questions. I can tell by the shine in their eyes that they are interested in each other, which works out well for the countries. It seems as if the arranged marriage is back on, and will be put in effect soon.

That night, tired from the festivities, we all welcomed the beds, but Rose made us stay up and wait for Meru, saying that her announcement had to do with the dancer. She kept us awake, ignoring our protests, poking at me when I started to fall asleep. 

When Meru showed up, a half-eaten gallon of ice cream in one hand and a silver spoon in the other, she looked surprised that we were still up. "Hi, guys. Don't look at me like that, because I'm not sharing! I haven't had ice cream for at least two years and I'm not a dancer anymore so I can eat it now!"

"Calm down. We're not here to deprive you of your dessert." Rose said. "We're here to give you this." She reached into her pouch and pulled out a necklace.

"You guys got me a gift? Aw… But my birthday isn't for a while." Meru took the necklace that was extended to her, dropping it when it flared up. "Whoa! It's on fire!"

The necklace floated up and attached itself around her neck. Meru kept feeling it. "A Dragoon Spirit?"

"I saw it around Lenus' neck and I took it." Rose said. "It's the Dragoon Spirit of Water. My gift to you, a token of friendship. Just don't keep annoying me with pointless questions, all right?"

"Aw, thanks, Rose!" Meru hugged her.

"And none of that either. I'm not the sentimental type."

"Why so many Dragoons in party?" Kongol wanted to know.

"Fate draws them together. The Dragoon Spirits attract each other. 'When Dragoons meet, blood will flow, and as they leave, time does slow.'" Rose quoted. "We've all shed blood, and as for the leaving with slow time, we haven't got up to that yet."

We stayed at the palace for a night, just to enjoy the royal treatment, but now we are on our way back to Donau, to get on a ship and go to Mille Seseau. 


	16. Entry Twelve: Seasick

Diary ~  __

Diary ~ 

I think I am seasick. 

It doesn't help that Meru is flitting around and asking me how can I possibly be sick of the sea, it's so beautiful! Yes, Meru, I know it's beautiful, but I am just seasick and I can't help it, okay? Can you please go away now?

Okay, she's gone. The ship is a hunk of metal and wood nailed together and I keep thinking that it's going to fall apart in the middle of the ocean. I mean, I know how to swim, seeing as how I grew up in Rouge, which is close to the ocean, but I don't like big ships. The captain, Puler, reassures me that the ship is very safe and will never fall apart unless we purposefully drop a hundred cannonballs on it. I think he might have been exaggerating a little. 

His assistant Kayla, a little girl that might be his daughter or niece, told me that it might help me if I went onto the deck or walked around to take my mind off of the seasickness. So I did. I'm sitting on deck writing this right now. 

No one else is getting seasick. Lucky them. 

I spoke to Kongol first; he was in the boiler room, watching as the workers tossed shovels of coal into the furnace. He offered to help but they ignored him. He seemed upset by this.

"It's just routine." I told him. 

"Routine?"

"People feel like they have to follow a certain and direct path during the day. If something goes wrong, they can't stand it and they go all crazy. Can I ask you a question, Kongol?"

When he agreed, I asked him why he fought for Emperor Doel. He said it was because Emperor Doel had saved his life and he owed him gratitude and a debt. 

"How are you doing now?" I asked him

"Kongol fine. Thank you for questions."

Knowing that he probably wouldn't talk much more, I found Meru, who always wanted to talk. Maybe a bit too much. She spoke about a lot of things until she made me get a headache worse than the seasickness, so I excused myself and found Albert. 

He told me about the importance of the Moon Gem, how it was an heirloom for the throne of Serdio, and he needed to get it back. We spoke about the Dragon Campaign for a while, but then Puler came in to talk to him, so I had to go find Father. He was lying on a relatively clean spot on the deck. Ignoring a wave of nausea, I sat down to talk to him.

"Seeing the ocean reminds me of Rouge." He said, staring up at the clouds. "I haven't seen Rouge for a while. Do you miss it?"

"I haven't been home in twenty years, Father. Of course I miss it. How has everyone been doing?"

He told me about some of my friends, about the people in Rouge. Rouge is a very small town, so we knew everyone, and it was interesting listening to what happened to them, except for Tara, who had disappeared into the forest when she left. I didn't know her too well, but she had seemed like a good person. It was always the good people who died. Or maybe others only cared about the good people, so that's why they were remembered in their deaths. 

"Are you going to go back to Rouge?" I asked Father. "When this is over, I mean?"

"I don't know. I left Rouge to find you. Now that I've found you, I'm not sure what to do. Are you going to go back to Rouge?" 

"I will, but I don't know for how long. I guess Dart's getting too old to spend his days with his mother, and he's grown now, so I won't be afraid to leave him by himself. And Shana…most likely she'll end up with Dart. That takes care of the children, which leaves me free. I think I might go back to Rouge for a while, then travel the world for a while, and back to Neet to pay my respects to the dead, and perhaps I'll live the rest of my life in Rouge. I am getting old, after all."

"I'm your father. I'm older, and I'm still running around, aren't I?"

"Has Rouge changed at all?"

"No. We're still very isolated."

I nodded. "Excuse me, Father. I'm going to go talk to Rose."

It took me a while to find Rose, no surprise there. Meru told me that she was in the crow's nest, and I pulled myself up there, not liking the swaying at all.

"You mind want to try a couple of the Purifiers." Rose said without turning around. "Being seasick isn't fun at all."

"I can't imagine you seasick."

"It was eleven thousand years ago. After so much time, a girl tends to get rid of bodily imperfections. Is there something wrong, or did you just want to talk?"

"Just wanted to talk. How are things going? Still being secretive to everyone?"

"Yes. You're not a Dragoon; therefore, you've no obligations to stay with us, so I can tell you the truth. This choker around my neck is what has been keeping me alive. With it, I cannot die. I am immortal, which is both a gift and a curse. I miss my friends, the other Original Dragoons. I miss my Dragon and I miss being praised. Did you know that the seven of us were hailed as heroes? There were always people adoring us, helping us with little things. I loved that attention. But as time passed by, people forgot about the Dragon Campaign and it became dangerous to reveal my secret. In eleven thousand years I've slid from a praised hero into a nobody, a shadow-woman, barely alive. It seems like a long time, but with this choker, time crawls by in one long moment. I don't know time anymore."

I listened to her, understanding, but staying silent. 

"You and Dart are the only ones who escaped from Neet, yes?"

"Yes. That I know of." It was uncomfortable talking about Neet. I kept that part of the past buried.

"How did you escape anyway? The Black Monster leaves no survivors."

"We ran and hid on top of a hill, in a secret cave hidden by the bushes. We waited until the Black Monster left. When we came out, everyone was dead."

"I'm sorry."

"You lost someone to the Black Monster too, didn't you?"

"Yes, someone very close to me. But I can't talk about who. It's too painful." Rose nodded. "Eleven thousand years. I lose many people to the Black Monster." She paused for a long time. "You know, you're the first friend I've had in a long time, Claire. Thanks."

She stayed silent even longer this time that I thought that maybe it was her way of telling me to leave, so I started to climb down the ladder. But she spoke, desperately. "I want us to stay friends, Claire. I'm sorry."

I didn't understand what she meant, didn't understand the pleading in her eyes. But it scared me, and I wanted to get out of there. "We'll stay friends, Rose." And I leapt down the rest of the ladder, in my hurry to get away.

"Mom!" Dart ran up to me. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Kayla said I should walk around, maybe talk to people to get my mind off things. Is something wrong?"

"Mom, I don't remember Neet. Or Dad."

That upset me. I sat down with him under the ladder and talked to him about what kind of town Neet was, about his father. He asked me about the Black Monster, but I couldn't tell him anything, and he suggested that we go to talk to Rose. Why not?

"Hello, Dart. Claire." The desperation was gone, replaced by the shadow-woman, as she called herself. 

"Um…can you tell us anything about the Black Monster?"

Rose turned around, glanced at me quizzically before replying to Dart, "Unfortunately, I have nothing to tell you. What I know is what most other people know."

She was lying. She knew something. I know that, I can see the way her eyes keep flickering between the two of us and the way she shields herself. But what could I do about it?

She continued, becoming heated. "What are you going to do when you catch him anyway? Are you going to kill him to avenge your father? Will that satisfy your feelings?"

Her question took my son by surprise. "I don't know. I…I haven't really thought about it. I kept thinking that maybe I would kill him, but I'm not sure if I would be able to. Maybe the Black Monster had difficulties too."

"Maybe." Rose said shortly. "Let me tell you this, from my years. Revenge keeps going around in a circle. Survivors take revenge for the dead, on both sides, so that it keeps going and going and it never stops. Revenge will not satisfy anything in you. It won't stop the animal within, and it will never stop the voices in your head. Vengeance, fighting, war…" She looked as if she was going to laugh. "We are both Dragoons, you and I, Dart. We understand the power of the Dragon Knights. But we don't understand the source of it. War, fighting… these things are not part of human nature. Humans make themselves fight by entering insanity. Revenge is the same thing. We are driven insane and blinded by our own hate and grief that we seek revenge. The Dragoon Spirit is only something to help amplify the insanity. Insanity is the source of the power for the Dragoons!"

Her little speech unnerved Dart as much as it did me. I clutched at the railing, something inside me unfolding. 

"I didn't know that." Dart said calmly. "But when we are finished with Lloyd, I will set off again on my quest for the Black Monster. When I find the Black Monster, then I will decide what to do. Perhaps in meeting him, I will learn something different."

Rose turned her back to us, staring at the ocean again, and I took that as a sign to leave, so Dart and I both left. Dart said he had to talk to Kongol, so I headed onto the deck to write. Shana's here, on the side, humming a song to the seagulls. My song, my lullaby that I had taught to her and Dart. I wonder if she will teach it t


	17. Truth

****

Truth

"Claire! Claire, wake up!"

"Ugh…what happened?" The older woman sat up, brushing off Shana's hands from her shoulders. "We were on the deck, weren't we? And you were singing and I was writing… What happened?"

"The _Queen Fury_ crashed into this ship! We were the only ones on deck and we somehow ended up here. I woke up and you were unconscious… Claire, what is this ship? I feel…so strange. As if I know it…"

Claire looked around. Despite the rotting wood and peeling paint and torn sails, it was impossible to miss the royal insignia carved everywhere. An insignia that she knew and had run away from.

"We are on a Mille Seseau ship! The _St. Louvia_!" Claire cried. "This is the same ship that the last Moon Child was killed on. Neet was destroyed for this ship!"

"Claire?"

"This damn ship! Louvia passed through Neet and came onto this exact ship. The Black Monster followed her path, destroying all of Neet to find out where the ship was!" Claire took a fistful of hair and tugged on it, swallowing her sobs.

Shana sat beside her, her eyes darting back and forth. "Maybe we should go back to the _Queen Fury,_ Claire. There's a strange feeling around this ship. After all, how could a ghost ship keep on sailing with nobody to steer it and take care of it? Something's wrong—_Claire!_"

At Shana's scream, she looked up and saw the monsters.

Skeletal, with long bleached bones, clad in rags, with claws and sword. Coming toward them. Shana's bow was lost; she had no way to fight.

"Oh gods!" Claire leapt in front of Shana, holding her, as if that could protect her. She had lost her gloves, and it would hurt much more significantly if she fought the ghosts without them but she was ready to die if she could protect Shana. "Monsters, leave us alone! We've done nothing to your ship!"

Shana burst free of Claire's grip, tossed her head back and screamed. Strategically, not completely full of fear.

It was a good scream, full of raw power. It signaled to Dart and the others where they were and it brought knights to their rescue.

The knights were ghosts too, but they chased away the skeleton monsters, leaving the two women shaken and confused. 

"Shana! Mom!"

The footsteps of the battle party echoed around the empty rotting ship as Dart and the others arrived. "Are you two all right? What happened? How did you end up here?"

"When the ship crashed, we ended up here." Shana said. "There were ghosts here, skeletons that wanted to attack us. But…then other ghosts came to our rescue. Knight ghosts. They chased the monsters away and then you guys appeared. There's something wrong with this ship, Dart."

Dart nodded to her, stepping over to his mother. Claire was staring far away, and her body swayed in the slight wind, trance-like. "Mom? Mom, what's wrong? Mom! Shana, what happened to her?"

"I don't know. She was fine just a moment ago."

"Mom!" Dart shook her.

Claire opened her dry lips to speak. "This ship…from Mille Seseau. Princess Louvia was here…and the Black Monster. Neet…was destroyed because of this ship… There's so much dark power around here…unfulfilled spirits lingering in our world…alone and angry."

"Mom? Does anyone know what she's talking about?"

"I think I do. I can feel the power too. This ship… Dart, we have to search the ship!" She clasped her hands together. "Please, Dart! I know…that I'm going to find something…important to me… Please, Dart!"

"All right. But we stay together. And Grandfather, keep an eye on Mom, would you? She's a bit zoned out. Soa knows what happened."

Shana took the lead, running through the corridors, opening doors and searching rooms like an anxious child, but excited. Claire followed as if in a daze, Dart and Haschel guiding her. 

When they stepped into the captain's room however, Claire started screaming. 

"Help us!" __

"The bastard…oh Soa, help us…so much killing!"

"We have to save the princess!"

"I don't want to die!"

"Help me…"

"He's killing us all!"

"Oh, the princess, and her nanny! They're both dead!"

"Because we failed, we cannot die completely. Help us…" 

"Mom! Mom, wake up! Mom!" Dart was shaking her again when she snapped fully back into consciousness. The room focused slowly and Claire nearly sank to her knees. 

"Oh gods, all the voices…" She wailed. "Didn't you hear them?"

"No. You just started screaming and you wouldn't stop. Claire, what happened?" Haschel asked.

"I heard them too." Shana said, deathly pale. "Voices…of people who had died on this ship."

"We have to get out of here. It's too dangerous to stay there. Mom's nearly going crazy and Shana's hearing voices. We need to get them to a doctor." Dart took his childhood friend's arm and gestured for Kongol to lead Claire out, as the Giganto was larger and stronger and could protect her from any attacking monsters. 

"The Black Monster killed us." The single lonely voice caused them all to turn around and stare at the captain's chair, which, just a second ago, was empty. 

"Oh jeez!" Dart stumbled back in surprise, knocking over Albert.

"I told you." Claire whispered. Kongol had made a cradle with his tree-like arms for her to sit in, and she lifted her head to look at Dart with a slightly smug expression on her face. "Never doubt your mother, kiddo."

"The Black Monster killed us. He was too powerful. It was…blinding, terrible. In the cabin one second, on deck the next. Everywhere…he killed everyone. The baby princess, the nanny, everyone…me. I can't die until everything is finished. The knights suffer the worst. Please free them. Help me!"

The ghost screamed as it disappeared, his outline torn and working inward until there was only a wail echoing around the walls. 

"The Black Monster!" Dart's howl was no less pain-filled than the ghost's were. "Why does that bastard have to kill everyone? Why does he have to do this?"

"Obligation, my dear, you will never understand." 

Claire snapped her head up from where she had been looking at the floor lifelessly. Another voice? The voice had the same age-old distant echoing form that the other voices had, and also discontent and powerful, and weary. But this voice wasn't just calling out to whoever could hear and help. This voice seemed to be…

"Why does he kill everyone? Does death and pain satisfy him?"

"Shut up. I don't do this for fun." 

Answering Dart's questions…?

Claire shifted and looked around. Was the spirit of the Black Monster here? How was he answering back?

Allowing Kongol to carry her and her father to murmur words of comfort—words he had never said when she was younger—she watched as they entered a different room, more lavishly furnished, with a beautiful carpet that was only partly faded. 

"Are you finished wandering around, Shana? Can we go back now?" Rose said impatiently. "We have to get to Mille Seseau to protect that last Divine Moon Object."

"Princess!" An old woman with a veil over her head coalesced in front of Shana, gaping. "You are alive…thank the gods. My death was not in vain, then." She touched Shana's cheek with her cold fingers, making the Seles girl flinch but not back away. "Oh gods…you are safe. I can now go to where I belong." She disappeared as quickly as she had come.

"Wait!" Shana yelled, stamping her foot. "What connection do I have with this person? Why did you call me Princess?"

Rose was frowning again, staring at the spot where the old woman had appeared.

"Black Monster!" A voice wailed. A liquid shape gathered on the carpet and formed into a knight with a golden helmet. "How dare you come back here?"

He drew his sword, moved forward. Dart leapt out of the way, and Rose, behind him, drew her own sword and parried the knight's. Her eyes flared and she dragged the blade along the knight's side, then lifted her right leg and pushed him away from her. "The Black Monster does not appear for another ninety years." She told him coldly. There was something odd about her gaze. "You are a lonely spirit. You should go back to where you belong."

Her voice was cold, dark…

Claire furrowed her brow in deep thought, staring hard at the woman that looked so much like her.

__

"I've been alive eleven thousand years, Claire." The Black Monster had been around long enough to be a legend passed down through several generations. 

"Obligations, my dear, you will never understand." Rose was always talking about her obligations and the responsibilities that she had to fulfill. Her eyes were always filled with that ancient knowledge and dark power, of terrible secrets. __

"The Black Monster killed us. He was too powerful. It was blinding…terrible. He killed everyone." Rose was most likely one of the most powerful people on Endiness, training for so many years. And…every time she killed, she had that flare of power in her eyes, like bloodlust and a thrill for battle.

And Rose knew so much about the Black Monster, something that she was holding back. 

Sitting uneasily there in the cabin, looking at Rose's lifted chin and drawn sword, Claire understood.

"You!" She shrieked, causing Rose to look at her in surprise. Writhing and twisting until she fell out of Kongol's arms, she landed painfully on her hip on the cabin floor, but she leapt to her feet. "You, you're the…"

Clapping a hand over her mouth, she ran out and leaned over the deck railing, vomiting. 

"Claire!" Haschel and Albert ran out after her. "Claire, what happened?"

The world became hazy; she was lulling into unconsciousness again. No, she had to stay awake! To confront the woman—the _monster_—that had murdered her husband and destroyed her town and sanity!

She was halfway to the cabin when the ship began to shake. She lost her footing, falling hard on her backside. 

"The ship's sinking!" Albert yelled. "Everyone, we have to get back!"

Haschel took Claire's arm, dragged her to her feet and she stumbled after him as he leapt the makeshift walkway between the ships. The phantom ship, the _St._ _Louvia_, was sinking, the hull cracking and falling apart. The ship was being lost.

Shaking her head to clear the darkness threatening to overtake her, she saw Shana fairly fly over the walkway and land next to her, arms careening wildly to keep her balance. Albert was next, pushing Meru ahead of him. Kongol followed, lumbering across the walkway. 

Claire sagged to the ground, her father holding her arms to keep her supported. Rose and Dart were the last ones, crossing the walkway, the woman jumping first. 

Dart jumped too, but the position of his limbs and his posture told Claire that he wasn't going to make it. The hull had completely broken now, and the only thing that kept Dart from falling into the violent water was Rose. She had lain flat on her stomach and reached both hands to grab her friend.

__

Don't touch him! Let him go! Claire wanted to scream, but that wouldn't be wise, especially since Rose's grip was the only thing that kept her son alive.

"Dart!" She cried. _Please!_

"Rose, let go!" Dart yelled. "Let me go! You can't hold my weight! Save yourself!"

No, Dart, she doesn't deserve to live! She's the monster that killed your father! Don't be so kind to her! She doesn't deserve it! 

"Rose, you're going to fall! Let go!"

Rose's eyes were huge and frightened. "No, I won't ever let it happen again!"

"What are you talking about? Let go! We're both going to die if you don't let go!"

"I won't let go! I'm not losing you the same way I lost him!"

Claire finally managed to get her body in motion, to grab onto Rose's legs, pull them both in… but by then it was too late. The makeshift walkway cracked from the railing of the ship and plunged into the sea. 

"Dart!" Shana screamed.

"No!" Claire climbed onto what was left of the railing and jumped.

"Claire, what are you doing?!" 

She was already in motion, tucking her head in, straightening her legs, stretching her arms so that when she hit the water she barely made a splash. 

Cold! 

She had swum in waters for twenty years of her life, growing up in the seaside village of Rouge. And even in Seles, she had sneaked out at times to swim because she simply loved the water. She could probably swim better than Rose could, and definitely better than Dart could, but she couldn't fight the current that swept her further downstream. 

When it slowed, she forced herself to the surface. The current must have brought her far away from the _Queen Fury_ because it was nowhere in sight. She took a deep breath of precious air before diving back in, keeping her eyes open.

Ignoring the mass movements of the fish that she scared away, there was only one thing moving. She swam toward it, watching as dark shadows because Rose and Dart. Her son was unconscious, sinking fast, and Rose was struggling to bring his weight to the surface. 

Claire swam over to them, ignoring Rose and grabbing Dart's other arm. With the two of them, they managed to drag Dart to the surface and kept kicking until they reached a small beach. Claire ignored Rose, intent on keeping her son alive, until they crawled onto the sand, dragging Dart above the tides. 

Claire gasped for breath, on her hands and knees, pulling a long piece of seaweed off her face. Rose was on Dart's other side, coughing, her long dark hair in her face as she threw up seawater. 

Too tired, Claire slumped against the beach, wet sand pressing into her cheek and scratching her skin roughly. She felt hands on her shoulders, trying to help her into a sitting position.

"Get off me!" She yelled, rolling over onto her hands and knees, glaring.

Rose was surprised, her hands still outstretched. "I see." She finally said, stumbling to her feet and with effort, over to Dart's side, checking for a pulse. "He's still breathing."

"Get away from him!" Claire commanded, crawling over to them. 

"Claire, he's going to get—"

"Get away from my son!" 

Rose paused, silent, but she began to turn back to Dart.

Claire slapped her.

Without her strength-enhancing gloves, and in her current condition, it wasn't as powerful as she would have liked it to be, but it was enough to make Rose fall on her side in the sand, a hand held to her cheek. She muffled her coughs as she watched Claire drag Dart up the sand toward a small cave in the distance.

"I wish you would let me help you." Rose said quietly, standing a few meters from where Claire had fallen for the third time. 

"I don't need your help!" Claire snapped. Determined not to accept the monster's devious offer, she managed to tow her son into the cave, against the far wall. It was a small cave, just a dent in the cliff face.

Rose stood at the cave mouth and when Claire didn't glare at her, she entered, sitting on the opposite wall, dropping the firewood that she had gathered into the space between them. 

When she reached for Dart, Claire stiffened and formed her hands into fists.

"I'm just going to make a fire. I won't hurt him or you."

"You already have." The human woman muttered, but allowed Rose to grip Dart's Dragoon Spirit long enough to cast a fire spell onto the wood, spreading immediate warmth.

It was a long silence as Claire checked her son for injuries and made sure that he was fine from time to time. There was no conversation to break the normal night sounds. 

"Claire…" Rose started to say.

"I don't want to hear anything from you."

"Claire—"

"Shut up!"

__

"Dammit, do you want to know the truth or not?" Rose yelled, on her feet.

Claire, sitting down, glaring at her, showed no fear. "What's the point? I already know why."

Rose returned her glare until Claire finally nodded. "Fine." She said, with no apology in her tone.

The Dragoon sat down, held her pendant in her hand. "I'm going to start at the beginning. You're going to hear things you don't like, but don't interrupt me."

Claire nodded.

"You must have noticed how much we resemble each other. Physically, I mean. There's no denying it. It's not a coincidence that you found Zieg as your husband. He was mine for a while." Rose held up her hand, silenced Claire's automatic vehemence but not the hate-filled glare. "Eleven thousand years ago, Claire. That's right. Zieg was an Original. He was the Fire Dragoon, the leader of us all, and my fiancé. I loved him. I still do. He saved me when I was a human slave to the Winglies. He gave me my Dragoon Spirit. 

"I don't understand how you ended up with him. He died in the Dragon Campaign. He fought Melbu Frahma one on one and both of them died on each other's swords. He should be dead. I remember it very clearly. I was the only Dragoon survivor of the Dragon Campaign. 

"From then, I wandered the world. I found a Wingly civilization called Ulara, Winglies that hadn't fought in the Campaign and were allowed not to because they were led by Melbu Frahma's peace-loving older sister, Charle Frahma. Charle became my friend and told me that I had to become the Black Monster in order to save the world.

"Yes, _save the world_," Rose repeated, her voice a hiss. "Not destroy it! Remember when I told you I was a nobody? This was my transition! I have become the Black Monster, the savior of the world, and nobody knows."

"You're mad." Claire finally said.

"Perhaps. But I know what I'm doing. I am sure you know of the prophecy of the Moon Child. 'After counting one hundred and eight years, when the Moon that never sets glows red, a Moon Child shall descend upon the world to give holy bliss.' This is the prophecy that everyone knows. They all anxiously await their Moon Child to come and deliver them. What they don't know is that Soa has a wicked sense of humor. They don't know that this will mean certain death for _everyone_."

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you remember the _Kromerelt?_" Rose asked.

Claire nodded. This was no longer an argument. "Nine years ago, they were a clan, a cult, that wanted to destroy the world because they thought that it would make it…a better place." The meaning finally dawned, and her face went from angry but slightly curious into direct fear and shock. "Oh Soa!"

"Beseech not your god, for he means to destroy you." In any other circumstance, Rose would have grinned fiercely. But she was completely serious now. "The Winglies in Ulara understood the prophecy that the humans did not. They selected me to become the Black Monster, to save the world every one hundred and eight years. I was to kill the Moon Child before she came to power, and to kill anyone who had seen her, or else they would become mindless slaves to the god-king."

"Oh my…" Rose was right. She could no longer say 'gods' or 'Soa' without knowing this awful truth. Claire focused on breathing, on not passing out.

"In a way, there's a strange justice in what the gods want. This world is terrible. People have forgotten honor and trust."

Only a few minutes ago Claire would have snapped that Rose was doing the same thing, forgetting her honor by killing innocent people and violating trust by keeping this secret. But now, she understood why Rose had done it. Quietly she said, "If you want what the gods want, why do you stand against them?"

"Wait. I did not say that I wanted what they wanted. I said I _understood_ what they wanted."

"Why do you fight against them? Why do you continue being…the Black Monster?"

"Why?" Rose seemed confused by her question. "Because if I don't, the world falls apart. Everyone dies. It's the right thing to do by helping. My own honor is a small sacrifice for the lives of so many. My friends sacrificed their own lives to help make future human lives better and all humans have done is forget them. I have sacrificed my honor to help them, and they only hate me and shun me. But I know that I am helping them, and that is enough for me."

Claire nodded. "Oh." She paused, staring at her hands, at the fire, at Dart, at anything but Rose. "But…how does Zieg fit into this? And Neet?"

"I've told you, I don't understand what Zieg's part in this is. When I first saw Dart, I thought he was Zieg. Honestly, that was why I saved him from the Dragon. I don't understand how Zieg was able to live and stay alive for eleven thousand and end up marrying you and having a child, if he didn't have an immortality choker like mine." Rose paused. "But I can tell you about Neet. It was nothing personal; it never is. But Princess Louvia stayed in Neet for a week before fleeing to the sea. I needed to kill everyone in Neet before they became mindless slaves."

"But Dart and I survived, and we are not slaves."

"Did either of you see the Moon Child?"

"Louvia was only in Neet for two days, for her caravan to rest and gather supplies. Dart was a child, and off playing sword with one of his friends. I made him come with me. When else would he get a chance to see a princess? He glanced at her for a few seconds and then ran off. But…I saw Louvia. I looked at her for a long time."

Claire half-expected Rose to draw her sword and slay her where she sat. She wondered if she would defend herself if that happened.

But instead Rose only said, "I thought as much. But…you're different. You've a powerful and sensitive mind for a human. Perhaps you were able to resist the unconscious command."

"I guess so." Claire put a hand over her eyes. Lies, of course. Why should she believe the words of a monster that had killed her husband?

But…

Rose had gone out of her way to help Claire even before she knew of their connection. She had seemed honestly and openly concerned and worried for Claire when Lloyd had cut open her arm. And hadn't Rose practically begged to have a friend? And besides, there was that age-old look, the unfathomable look, in her eyes again.

"I just have one question."

"Only one?"

"If you loved Zieg as much as you say so, why did you kill him?"

Rose made a sound like a strangled kitten. "I tried." She looked at Dart, spoke while staring at him. "Dart and Zieg, they are so much alike. Not only are they Dragoons recognized by the Fire Dragon, but there is something else, something that draws me… After eleven thousand years of time, I can now feel the strength and tenderness in Dart, and even, at times, his frailty." She looked up at Claire now. "He tames the insanity of the Dragoon for me. I owe him that. He is much like Zieg. Zieg…if only my hands could grab him, I—_we_—wouldn't have this bitterness." There was sadness within her eyes and tone. "He was pulled from me, turned to stone and floated away. That is how he died."

Claire was confused until she realized what Rose was rambling about. "I did not mean in the Dragon Campaign. I meant that night in Neet."

"Oh. Then." Rose looked uncomfortable, holding her Dragoon Spirit. "When I become…the Black Monster, it is like…it is like I lose my mind. I spoke of taming the insanity but every one hundred and eight years I release the insanity. I become another being, another entity. What happens then…I cannot control. I often do not even remember."

"Oh."

Silence.

Finally, Claire took a deep breath. "If all of what you say is true—and I think that it is—then I've no reason to hate you. What you did, you did for the best of the world. Zieg was a mere inconvenience, correct? I hate the Black Monster for killing him and destroying my town and giving me all these years of grief, but I forgive Rose for not being able to stop it, and I appreciate the fact that she tells me the truth." She held out her hand. "If you still wish it, my friendship is still offered."

Rose clasped her hand almost immediately. "Thank you." She said fiercely. "But…will you tell the others of this?"

"They will figure it out sooner or later, trust me, with or without my help. Dart…I have to tell him as soon as he wakes up. He has to know that the Black Monster he has pursued for years is fighting alongside him and…that he cannot kill her. Oh yeah, and I'm sorry for slapping you."

She withdrew her hand, slid out the Moon Dagger to look at it. Rose flinched.

"I said that I would remain your friend. Friends do not injure one another intentionally. I promise that I will not take my revenge upon you. Do you doubt my word?"

"No."

The Moon Dagger caught the light, twisting it into dancing shapes. Claire sighed, putting it back.

Silence reigned again for a while before Dart broke it with a groan as he awakened. 

"What happened?"

Rose remained wordless, staring at a little hole in the wall of the cave, so Claire spoke, telling Dart about how the Phantom Ship had sunk and they had dragged him here. They would set off the next morning to regroup with the others. Finally, she brought up the topic.

"Dart, you left for five years to pursue the Black Monster. Your search is over."

"Mom, what are you talking about?" 

"Dart…how am I supposed to tell you this? The legends always referred to the Black Monster as a male figure. Always 'he' or 'him'. Or 'bastard'." She cast an apologetic look at Rose, who had turned to face them. "But they were wrong. It's a 'she'."

Dart held a hand to his forehead. "I think I've hit my head too hard because I don't understand a single word of what you are saying."

Obviously annoyed at Dart's lack of intuition, Rose sighed and sat forward, extending her hand to Dart. "Hello, my name is Rose. I am the Black Monster."

Dart recoiled at her words, cringing against the wall. "Mom?"

"It's true."

He was quiet, murmuring in the appropriate and expected denial. "This has to be a hallucination. I fell off the ship and I'm probably drowning in my real body right now and this is just what my mind is making up."

He exploded into moving anger quicker than Claire had anticipated. Lunging off the wall, he tackled Rose out of the cave and onto the beach again, screaming.

"You! How could you have done this! We trusted you with our lives and with our friendship!" He had grabbed her around the neck, slamming her head face-first into the sand. Rose was struggling, but not with as much energy as one would expect. "You spoke of obligations and honor but you have denied both by killing so many people! You have given my mother grief and tears every single day for eighteen years! We trusted you!"

Claire wasn't sure what to do as he dragged the other woman to the water in a murderous rage, pushing her face under. Most of her was screaming at her to order him to stop. But a tiny part of her was pleased. Someone was hurting the Black Monster after so many other lives had been hurt. Revenge for Zieg. For her town. For her.

Dart continued yelling, about how they had trusted her with everything but she never said a word and just continued on like nothing had ever happened.

Rose's arms were flailing, gripping Dart's hands but not pulling them away from her head.

She had saved him from the water. Perhaps not by herself, but she had the intent to save him. That makes her different from the Black Monster. She's right. Revenge just goes in one big circle. Let's break that circle. 

"Dart!" She snapped, running up to them and pulling Dart away from the shoreline. Rose came up spluttering, gasping for air and choking again.

Her son struggled against her grip. "Mom, let me go! She's the Black Monster! She killed Father!"

Rose paused, came up to waver in front of them, occasionally coughing. "For whatever it is worth, I am sorry. I had no intention of ruining your lives. Or anyone else's for that matter."

"Dart. Stop, _now_." Claire said sternly, motherly, and he obeyed. She turned him to face her. "You said so yourself, on the _Queen Fury_, that perhaps if you met the Black Monster you would change how you felt about him…her. Now tell us, right now, how do you feel. Stop struggling against yourself, take a deep breath and tell us."

She released him and he didn't attack Rose again.

After a while he spoke slowly, uncertainly. "I'm not sure. I'm angry, because she's killed a lot of people. Shocked because I never expected Rose to be my enemy. Confused because Mom doesn't seem to be angry. Tired."

"Sit." Claire pointed to the cave and led the both of them towards the fire again. "Dart, Rose killed your father but she saved our lives."

Slowly, emphasizing every point, she explained about the prophecy. When she was finished and sure that he understood, she asked her son, "Now how do you feel?"

"Still a bit angry. Even more shocked. Confused, yes. Still tired. But appreciative. I didn't know that, and I'm grateful to Rose that she's saving the world, even at the cost of Father. A bit hateful. But…that is just my opinion because I lost my father. What if there was no Black Monster? There would be millions of more voices crying out because they would lose everything that they cared about. Looking at it from a different point of view, this is…a small price to pay to help them. Thanks, Rose."

She nodded, her eyes still frightened as if she expected an attack.

"I can't get this out of my head. I hate you for what you did, but I love you at the same time. I don't know whether to take revenge and kill you, or thank you for what you've done. This changes everything, and I'm sorry."

"So am I." Rose whispered. "To both of you."

The next day a little boy found them, awakening all of them and leading them to the nearest town.

"Are you sisters?" He asked Rose and Claire.

Claire was flattered that he didn't realize the age difference. She told him that they were friends, and he nodded, bringing them to Lidiera. 

Lidiera was several wood huts lumped together to form a makeshift village. The boy, Pete, led them to his house, where his mother sat.

Carefully, Claire explained what had happened to them, saying that their ship was caught in a storm, and the three of them, standing on deck, had fallen off.

Pete's eyes glittered. "Wow! That's so cool! Did you see the Sea Dragon?"

"Sea Dragon?" Rose echoed. "There's a Dragon around here?"

Pete nodded. "Yep. It's been here for a while. It's on Prison Island, but it affects us all the way over here. It scares the fish and messes up the water. It's not good, since Lidiera gets its food from fishing. The mayor's really upset about this Dragon. Mom's weak from malnutrition and then she got sick. I wanted to take her to Fueno, because it's a big city and there are doctors there, but the way is crowded with monsters."

"Fueno's a big city, and it has a dock, right? Which means the _Queen Fury_ is probably there." Dart glanced at the mother. "Pete, how about this? You guide us to Fueno, and we'll clear the way. You can bring your mom with us to the doctor." 

The boy's reply was enthusiastic, consisting of him hugging every single person in the room, earning a laugh from Claire, a pat on the head from Dart, and a frown from Rose.

The way was quiet. Claire knew that she had forgiven Rose and that Dart had done the same. He was right; it would never be the same. But Rose was still her friend and this new revelation was…for the best, in a strange ironic way. But for Dart, this would affect his friendship with Rose and his relationship with his mother in a way that would not be as good.

She sighed as she batted aside another monster. Things would never be the same, for anyone.

"Excuse me?" Claire tapped the item shop's merchant's shoulder to get his attention. "Have you seen a party of five people pass through here? It's kinda hard to miss them. There's a Giganto with them."

"I'm not sure what a Giganto is, but a group of five people came in to buy supplies and checked into the inn yesterday and a very large man was with them."

"Thank you." She returned to Rose and Dart, who were most pointedly not looking at each other and not talking. They hadn't spoken at all since thanking Pete for leading them to Fueno. The little boy and his mother had headed for the clinic, thanking them for their escort. "The others are at the inn."

"All right. Let's go." Dart shuffled in the direction of the inn, not looking back. 

Claire took a quick glance at Rose, who shrugged and set her mouth in a thin line and followed.

Are they ever going to talk to each other again? 

"Aah! They're back! They're back!" Meru practically tackled the three of them into a hug. "You're back!" 

"You took your time." Haschel said lazily, but with a smile.

"Kongol wasn't worried." The Giganto stated proudly.

"See, I _told_ you that they'd be back within three days! Cough it up, King boy!" Meru held out her hand expectantly and Albert slapped ten Gold into it, muttering something about how he wasn't a boy.

"Where's Shana?" Dart asked, looking around as if expecting to see her. 

Albert and Haschel exchanged glances. "Um…you should probably go see her." The king said. "She hasn't spoken a word since you disappeared. She's in the room at the end of the hall upstairs."

Claire was up there before Albert had finished his sentence, knocking on the door once before entering. 

Shana was sitting in the middle of the room, legs crossed, in something between a prayer and a trance. 

"Shana!" Claire shook the girl's shoulders. "Shana, wake up! Look!"

The girl shivered as her eyes fluttered open and wider. "Claire!" She screamed, throwing her arms around the woman. "You're back! Oh gods, you're all right! I knew you'd be all right! What about Dart? Is he okay?"

Knowing how much the girl wanted to see her son, Claire smiled. "Yeah. He's fine." She glanced over her shoulder to see Dart coming into the room. "I'll leave you two alone."

Closing the door, she hissed away Meru, Haschel, and Albert, shooing them back downstairs, where Rose was explaining to Kongol what had happened.

"How's Shana doing?" Haschel asked. "She was really upset when you and Dart and Rose disappeared. I've never seen her that upset before. She wouldn't talk and she wouldn't eat unless one of us told her to."

"She's fine now, talking to Dart. I raised her to be strong." Claire frowned. "But she collapsed."

"You raised her strong but she was dependent on you and Dart. Some people are meant to be fighters, Claire, but some just can't be." Haschel shrugged. "What are we going to do now?"

"We have to make a stop before we go to Mille Seseau." Dart said as he came down the stairs with Shana hugging his arm. She was smiling again. "We're making a detour through the Prison Island. I promised Pete that I would destroy the Sea Dragon for him."

"You're a real bleeding heart." Rose muttered to him.

Dart glanced at her, and from years of studying her son, Claire saw the angry challenge in them. She glared at him, causing him to fall back, silent. Rose did the same. 

"The _Queen Fury_ has finished its repairs." Albert said. "It should be able to set sail in a few days. We'll stop at Prison Island, kill the Dragon, and head to Mille Seseau." 

"Mom?" Dart came into her room and sat down next to her as she was meditating. 

She opened her eyes a slit to look at him. "Hi, sweetheart. Are you all right? How's Shana doing?"

"She's better now that we're back. She's persuaded the innkeeper to let her cook one of her dishes. The chef wasn't too happy until he tasted it. He was going to take her on as an apprentice but she said she wanted to stay with us." Dart paused, then looked at his hands. "Mom, I think I'm in love with her." He blurted out in one breath.

Claire fully opened her eyes and stared at him. "Honey, that's wonderful! Why do you sound so upset?"

"Because Shana is my friend. I don't want our friendship to change because of this."

"Dart, open your eyes, kiddo. Shana's been in love with you ever since you were this big." Claire held her hand to her knees. "Love strengthens a friendship. Tell her how you feel. I've been waiting for this day for a long time! Not to mention everyone else in the group."

"They all know?"

"It's really obvious. Your grandfather and Meru have been taking bets on how long it would take." Claire smiled. "Don't worry about this. Enjoy it. Even if it doesn't work out, you have something to remember. Remember this moment, when you felt so happy and when you were in love. There's nothing in life that you should look back on and regret. Everything makes you stronger. Love itself is the strongest."

Dart hesitated to speak. "Is that how you feel about Dad?"

Her smile faded. The mood of the conversation practically became physical. "I miss him, Dart. But it's not her fault."

"Mom, how can you stand it? How can you forgive her so easily, knowing that she's the Black Monster that killed your husband? That destroyed your home and made you flee in fear? That made you cry every single day?"

"I've been withstanding it for eighteen years, son. And I forgive her because it's not her fault. She didn't have a choice in what she had to do. The Moon Child was a threat; she eliminated it. And besides, I haven't cried for a while now. I've come to terms with the past. You should do so too."

"He will." Rose said from the doorway. "I wasn't eavesdropping. Meru sent me up to tell you two that dinner is ready. Dart, we'll settle this someday. But keep the mission in mind." She left.

Claire took her son's hand. "Dart, try to learn how to forgive her. It's not her fault. _I_ forgave her, and I still remember the flames."

"It's because of you, Mom. Every time I think about it, I see you at night crying into your pillow. I practically grew up on the sound of your tears."

She smiled. "This is between you and her. Settle it. But let's go eat dinner before your grandfather gets cranky."

Unable to sleep that night, Claire wandered out and found him outside the clinic, pulling off one of his gloves to look at a scar on his hand. Her anger forgotten, she walked over to stand beside him. "Hi." She said.

"Hello." He lifted his gaze from his hand, pulling the glove back on. "Heard you fell off the ship. Your son's girlfriend was hysterical. Do you want to take a walk?"

Silently she followed him down the boardwalk, down to the docks. "I'm surprised that you aren't in Mille Seseau yet." She told him. 

"I don't have the Moon Dagger here yet." Lloyd said, leaning against the railing and looking at the water, which slithered like a snake under the Moon's glow. "Lenus didn't have it for me."

Remembering why she had been seeking him out tonight in the first place, Claire balled up her fist and punched his shoulder.

Lloyd swore, turned to look at her. "What was that for?"

"For using a woman's love against her." She retorted fiercely, her fists at her hips. "Lenus loved you. You used that love to get her to do your bidding, you stupid bastard."

"I did no such thing. Don't make judgments until you know all the facts, Claire. I asked Lenus to get the Moon Dagger for me, because I had heard that she was an actress and could play the part of Emille rather well. Obviously I had heard the rumors wrong." Lloyd smiled at her. "I sought her out and asked for her help. As a complete stranger, mind you. I gave her no hints or clues that I was romantically interested in her. I didn't lead her on. She must have fallen in love with me after she agreed to help me. It wasn't my fault."

"What happened to her? Where is she now?"

"We were supposed to meet at the end of the day of the Coming of Age Ceremony. She came, but she didn't have the Moon Dagger. She apologized to me, then took her own life."

"_What_?"

"She said that she had failed me, and that her love was worthless. She had a knife, and she killed herself."

Claire hissed out an angry breath, jabbing her finger roughly into Lloyd's chest. "You idiot!" She yelled, poking him again, harder. "She killed herself because of you! How could you let her do that?"

He frowned impatiently, grabbed her wrists easily and held them still. "Damn it, woman, haven't you been listening to a word I said? I said, _it wasn't my fault._ I didn't tell her to love me. I never led her on. I never told her to kill herself. Those were all her decisions. I tried to make her passing easier! I held her hand and when she asked me, I told her that I loved her. That way she died in peace."

Claire paused, letting her fists fall open. "Oh. Was that the right thing to do? If you didn't really love her, but you told her you did to make her passing easier? You lied to her."

"But for a good reason." After seeing that she wasn't going to attack him again, Lloyd released her wrists. "I think I did the right thing. The reason why I haven't left is because I'm still searching for the Moon Dagger. Would you like a drink?"

"Yeah. I mean, yes please." She followed him into the tavern. Even this early in the morning, it was still crowded. She edged herself away from a group of men that eyed her, and was strangely glad when Lloyd glared at them with inhuman fury in his eyes. "Why do you want the Divine Moon Objects? What is your goal?"

Lloyd handed her a tall glass. "It's a bit personal."

"Yeah, well, so is stabbing me in the arm, nearly killing my son's best friend, and persuading a Wingly woman to pose as a princess, leaving the princess herself stuck in limbo for six months."

He winced at her words, staring at his glass with such a sullen look on his face that it almost made her apologize. "It didn't seem so bad until _you_ said it." He muttered. "But for what it's worth, my goal isn't evil. I want to create a utopia."

"A what?"

"A utopia. A perfect world where everyone is content. Where there's no fighting or killing."

"Ironic, since you have to fight and kill to get there." Claire said sardonically, lifting her glass. She didn't like to drink, but if it gave her a chance to talk to him, she didn't mind.

"Touché. A toast, then, to future fights, and an apology of those I have to hurt."

She swallowed the rest of her drink, scowling at the bitter aftertaste. "It's not a bad goal, actually."

"That's what I've been trying to convince you of."

Claire paused. "Lloyd, I have the Moon Dagger."

Only a trained eye could see how the Wingly nearly choked on his drink. But he recovered instantly, downing it and setting the glass down with a calm hand. He stared straight into her eyes, ruby locking with silver. "I see. I should have known."

"I'm not giving it to you." She told him protectively.

"I didn't think you would. Why are you telling me this? Don't you know that I could just slit your throat and take the Moon Dagger from you after you're dead?"

Claire lifted her chin, forcing herself to fight battle instincts and lay her palms flat on the table. "I don't doubt that you'd try. In fact, since you've defeated my son Dart, I don't doubt that you could kill me. But I know that you won't. Despite of the people you've killed and tried to kill, you won't kill me. I know."

Lloyd's eyes darkened for a moment before flaring to a bright red. "I told you before that I would accomplish my goal no matter what, killing whoever stands in my way."

"I remember. But you're not getting the Moon Dagger now." She reached into her pocket and deposited the correct amount of Gold onto the table. 

Lloyd scooped it up and returned it to her, placing it into her palm. He put his own money on the table. "The man should treat the lady." He told her.

She fought a smile. "Personally, I would rather not fight you. You're too nice, and you're not the picture I conjure up when I think of evil. We have the same goal in mind. You just want to achieve it in a supernatural way."

__

A perfect world where everyone is content…that doesn't sound so bad. The world that a child dreams of, with endless flower fields and clear blue skies and not even the possibility of the ideas of hate and war. Hell, it almost sounds like that insane plot of the Soa to destroy…the world and make…everything…perfect… Claire cursed, a powerful swear word she had learned from Rose.

Lloyd glanced at her in surprise. "That's not very ladylike."

"Forget that. You want to create a utopia, right?"

"Right."

"Meet me here tomorrow at noon. There's something wrong." Claire said, fleeing out of the tavern.

"Rose! Rose, wake up!" Claire shook her mirror image's shoulder fiercely, glad that Rose had purchased her own room; it would be difficult to explain why she was acting so strangely. The rooms came with only two beds, and since Claire herself was rooming with Shana, that left Rose with Meru, a fate that the Dragoon had tried hard to avoid. She had used her own Gold to rent a single bed room for their stay, leaving Meru in a suite with Kongol and Albert. Which also left Dart with his grandfather. Claire wondered if they spoke of their kinship. 

Rose came awake instantly, her eyelids fluttering twice before coming fully awake. She looked at Claire and her eyes shifted. "Is this your challenge?"

"No. I _told_ you, I'm not going to. If you're dueling against anyone, it's Dart. Now wake up. I have something to ask you. Come outside. I don't want to wake up the others." 

The warrior gazed at her sword on the nightstand, thought for a moment, and left it there, getting up and following Claire out of the inn to sit on the steps.

"Thanks for leaving your sword. It… Thanks." 

"If you were going to slay me, I would guess that I deserved it."

"Shut up with that. I'm not going to tell you again that it wasn't your fault. Now listen to me. This is important." Claire said, putting an edge to her tone so that her look-alike turned away from scowling at the stars to look at her. "The duty of the Moon Child was to be incarnated into an unborn human female's flesh, right?"

"Or male, though that was rare."

Claire continued as if Rose hadn't spoken. "And when the time came, it was supposed to destroy the world, using it's own power with the might of the army it had bewitched behind it, right?"

"More or less."

"And after it destroyed the world, Soa would call it back, slay the entranced human minions, and recreate the world in paradise. Heaven on earth. A perfect world. A…utopia, if you would." 

"Claire, what the hell have you been drinking?" Rose asked crossly.

"I'm not sure. It was amber-colored and tasted like unfermented wine mixed in with uncooked salmon. But you know what I'm talking about, right? The perfect paradise?"

"Yes. That's what the gods had planned."

"And what do you know about the Divine Moon Objects?"

Rose, who had up to this point, been speaking to Claire as she would to a clinging child begging to be read a bedtime story, now turned, with surprise evident in her gray eyes. "They are the ancient relics that we've been chasing. For Serdio it was the Moon Gem, for Tiberoa it was the Moon Dagger, and for Mille Seseau it will be the Moon Mirror."

"What else? What part do they play in the history of magic?"

"Well, they were peace gifts to the humans from the Winglies. They carry great magical power, enough to make a human a demigod, I would suppose. Claire, what is with all these insane questions? Are they going to get to a point?"

"They will. Tomorrow at noon, come with me. I'll tell the others that we're going shopping."

Rose grimaced.

"Just come with me, okay? I've a friend that needs your help, and I'm pretty sure that you'll learn some new things by coming." Claire pleaded. _Friend? Since when did Lloyd suddenly become a friend?_ "Please, just trust me, and come with me tomorrow at noon without the others."

"You've given me no reason to distrust you, aside from the fact that I think you're drunk. But if you are, you'll wake up tomorrow with a hangover and tell me that it was nothing and I won't have to go anyway, so all right. I'll come meet this mystery friend of yours tomorrow, despite your lousy excuse."


	18. Entry Thirteen: Decisions, decisions...

__

Diary ~ 

Well, that was something to remember. At around noon, I told them that Rose and I were going out on town to shop. Albert looked up from the intricate Serdian runes on his lance. "You and Rose_ are going to go _shopping_?"_

"One more word, your majesty, and I cut off all that pretty hair, got it?" Rose snarled. "Claire asked me for a favor, and I'm going." 

Dart had seemed a little skeptical but he said as long as we were back before the Queen Fury_ was ready to sail, it was all right. Rose complained about the lousy excuse again until we reached our destination. She was confused that I had a friend in the tavern, and thought it was female. _

I told her that my friend was a man, and when I went in, my eyes took a while to adjust and by the time they did, Lloyd had disappeared. The glimpse of silver hair leaving through the back door in a hurry was what told me he had fled.

He wasn't an easy person to follow. If it weren't for Father's training, I would never have been able to keep up with him as he darted through alleyways and up a wooden ladder up to rooftops, leaping the spaces between them easily. I wonder how many years he has been training, and how much older than his appearance he actually is.

I yelled at him that it was okay, to stop running. He didn't.

Lloyd cast a look over his shoulder only once, and I was glad that I was too far away to see his eyes because even at that distance I was sure that they would be filled with emotion I would never want him to direct at me. 

He leapt between two buildings placed precariously far. He tripped on his landing, turning it into a roll and standing up again immediately. That stumble gave me just enough time to catch up, flying through the air.

But alas, I had miscalculated the distance, as I had before, the first time in Hellena Prison. Damn, either I'm getting old, or not practicing enough. My toes just barely made contact with the rooftop, but my balance was off and my heels slid off the side, followed by the rest of me. Father would be so angry if he had seen what a mistake I had made. 

I grabbed the edge with my fingers, and spat a curse. The ground was maybe three or four stories down, I think. But then again, I was kinda panicked at that time, so maybe I was exaggerating. I didn't want to move much, considering my arms were struggling to pull myself up. I don't think that I am that old that I would die from the fall—after all, I am a fighter—but it would definitely result in a broken leg or two and that would be unpleasant. 

He appeared, silhouetted against the sun like some sort of dark angel. He bent down, grabbed my arms, and hauled me up onto the rooftop, onto my feet.

Before I could thank him, he spoke. Actually, yelled it more like it. He didn't release his grip on my arms, used it to shake me. "I trusted you!" He said, and I remember shivering, not so much with the anger that I knew was supposed to be there, but with the pain that had replaced it. His voice was quiet but firm. "I thought we had an understanding. I thought you were different from the rest of them."

I will never be able to forget that pain in his eyes. He looked like he was shattered. "I am, Lloyd." I protested vehemently. I tried to free myself, but I was right; he was_ much stronger than I am. "I am different from them, and I do trust you."_

"Then why did you bring her_? The Old One, of all of them!" He shook me again until my head wobbled on my shoulders and the world spun. "The Original! It would be better off if you had brought your empty-headed son!"_

That brought me back to my senses. I steeled myself. "Dart is not_ empty-headed and I resent the fact that you call him so. He's a bright boy, though rather stubborn and unused to new revelations, which is why I _didn't_ bring him along. I brought Rose because I know that she'll be able to shed some light on your goal."_

"You told her of my dreams?" Now Lloyd's voice was just a whisper, and his eyes were pools of his own blood. His grip tightened again, this time almost in desperation, as if by clinging to me he could prove his own existence. I know that I winced. There are still red marks on my skin.

I also remember my exact words. "No, I did not. It wasn't in my place to tell her. I told her nothing of you. If you will just stop running and listen_ to what she has to say, then perhaps you'll understand."_

Well, at least he wasn't shaking me anymore. Some of the pain had receded from his eyes, but whenever I recall his face, I can see that look of pain.

"Look, I think that we're friends. And I take care of my friends. I don't betray them. Your dreams are the highest part of your thoughts, and you trusted me enough to tell me about them. I wouldn't violate that. Now trust me enough to let me help you." Now that I think of it, I sound like that psychologist that Shana's mother had persuaded me to see for a while. "If what I'm thinking is right, then this may the both of us understand better." __

He was starting to give in now. Thank the…(can't say gods, now can I?) stars, I was about ready to give in.

"Besides, that way we can talk to each other without sneaking around all the time."

He paused for a moment and swallowed before releasing me. There was silence. He stared at his boots, and I tried to restore the feeling to my arms. 

"Well?" Lloyd said hoarsely. "Aren't you going to hit me?"

"What?"

"Every time we've met, you've tried to hit me."

I thought about it for a moment, then kicked him in the shins. It seemed appropriate at the time, but now that I think about it again, it seemed rude.

He stumbled back on his other foot, gingerly rubbing his injured leg. "I think you broke it." He said, his charming smile returning to his face.

"You big baby." I shoved him good-naturedly. Strange, I've only known him a while yet I seem to be so comfortable around him. "And aren't you going to buy me a drink? You seem to do that every time we meet."

"Get away from her!" 

Rose had found some way of getting across the gap perfectly because when she landed, she already had her sword out. "Get away!" She commanded again, and as she landed, slashed out. 

"No!" I don't know when I decided to throw myself forward. 

The pain didn't settle in until a few seconds after the cut was made. Shana has helped me to bind it, and I had looked into the mirror. It was a long gash, not the deepest one I ever had, but I couldn't help crying out then. Arms enfolded me, and at first I thought it was Rose before Lloyd's voice murmured from somewhere around my head, "Are you all right? You didn't have to protect me."

"Rose, wait, don't." I twisted myself sideways to stare at Rose, stopping her from lifting her sword again. She was in battle mode, twitching as if anticipating a fight. Sometimes she seems more animal than Human or Dragoon. "This is the friend I've told you about."

"Claire, in case you're drunk again, this is Lloyd. He tried to kill you and Lavitz."

"Accidentally."

"How do you accidentally try to kill someone?"

I told her to keep the accusations and questions until later, and she did. Ow, my back hurts again. I remember standing, wavering, but keeping my balance and asking Rose about the Divine Moon Objects. "What are they?"

"They're objects created by the Winglies. They hold great magical power."

"What were they created for?" It was just as new to me as it was to them. I was improvising as I went along. Kinda dangerous, when you're playing with those two.

"I'm not sure. Charle Frahma didn't tell me everything."

I pushed Lloyd off to the side where I could speak to him without Rose hearing. Naturally she was rather upset by this, but remained silent. "You are getting the Divine Moon Objects so that you can release the Moon Child in the Moon That Never Sets, am I right? That's how you will create your utopia."

Looking over at Rose, he nodded.

"You're wrong. Rose, tell us again about the Moon That Never Sets, and about your secret."

It was her turn to be pained now, and frightened. "Claire!"

"Trust me. I trust the both of you, and believe me, this will clear up a lot of things."

Rose stared at the ground, and when she nodded, I told Lloyd everything about the truth of the Moon Child and the truth about Rose.

Needless to say, the news hit him hard. He was speechless for a while, and I took the time to convince him that he was being led in the wrong direction. Whoever it was posing as Emperor Diaz was a true manipulator, molding Lloyd's mind to his will like this. 

It was even harder to convince Rose to let Lloyd come back with us. But after wailing and begging and tugging on her sleeve and just the right amount of the guilt factor, I managed to pry a reluctant sigh from her, an agreement.

But then, I had more difficulty getting Lloyd to come back with us. 

At first, it was, "I'm not going back into a nest full of Dragoons. They slaughtered my people."

"Winglies killed my friends! Your emperor personally killed my fiancé!" Rose screeched back, half-drawing her sword, and it was only then that I realized her underlying hatred and pain. I started crying then because her fiancé was my husband too. Zieg…

Gods, I'm going to cry again if I start thinking about him. Must keep writing. I yelled at the both of them, poking them to get their attention. "This is pointless. The Dragon Campaign was over eleven thousand years ago. Get over it. Rose, you know why I would hate Winglies as well. And Lloyd, I am still your friend despite the fact that my son_ is the leader of the Dragoons! Get over this stupid feud that's been going on for eleven thousand years and grow up. It's over. We have a Wingly girl traveling with us anyway and there is no discrimination toward her…except when she steals my dessert, but that's it. So get over it."_

My little speech made both of them speechless until Lloyd finally said, "That's not the reason. Well, some of it is. But…" And he looked up with pain-filled eyes again, blood eyes, and said that he had caused irrevocable wrongs against us and that he could never come into our hospitality. Begging and wailing didn't work, so I tried reminding him of what Rose had done and how Dart and I had accepted her. I had to threaten that I wouldn't go to see a doctor about that nasty wound on my back before he would promise to come with me, if only for today.

Not to mention how hard it was to convince Dart and the others to accept Lloyd! Stars above, this is tougher than those Virage battles. I'm too tired to write down exactly what happened in all of them, but…ah, I think I can stay awake long enough to reenact that memorable moment at the inn.

Rose entered first and Dart looked like he was going to ask her where I was. But he didn't need to because I stumbled in with Lloyd supporting me, and it was easy to see why they would think he had attacked me—considering the fact that my blood covered both of us, and the way he was holding me was the way one would hold a hostage.

I could definitely see Dart reaching for his sword and yelling, but I stopped him in time, snapping out his name and holding up my hands to ward off everyone else.

Very quickly, I explained everything, leaving out Rose's true identity in respect to her, merely telling them that the Moon Child was the evil one and that Lloyd had been manipulated into getting the Divine Moon Objects that would release hell.

That it was easy enough for them to understand. But when it came to trusting Lloyd…

"Mom, you must be under a spell or something because Lloyd tried to KILL you! He's wounded Lavitz, and he fed the Serdian war!"

"It wasn't his fault, son."

"I have to agree with Dart, Claire." Father mused, absently cracking his knuckles as if unconsciously wanting a fight. "Lloyd can't be trusted."

My knees gave out, and it was only Lloyd standing behind me that kept me from falling. At this, Shana insisted that she heal my back while we spoke. As she called on her Dragoon Spirit, I said that Lloyd had been manipulated, and that it wasn't his fault.

There was lots of arguing, protesting, debating. Rose stood on my side if only out of loyalty to me, which earned her some nasty looks from Dart, who soon ceased that as soon as I glared at him.

Meru gave in next, saying that everyone deserved a second chance as long as he knew what he did wrong and was willing to help us. Perhaps the fact that both she and Lloyd were Winglies had something to do with it. 

Kongol, unsure about what all the fuss was about, merely said that if Lloyd swore his loyalty to us, then why not? Shana then agreed, saying that she trusted my decision, which sort of swayed Dart a little. The frown started to disappear from his face anyway. 

"Claire, this is insane. He almost cost you your arm." Father said.

"I'm sorry." Lloyd said quietly, more to me than to Father.

"And he nearly killed your son's best friend. How can you forgive him so easily, or trust him?"

This was turning into a classic father-daughter argument, with Father's fists balled and me with my hands on my hips, sort of, as much as I could without falling over.

"Don't speak as if he isn't right here. What you say now hurts him as well."

"Claire, I really couldn't care less. Get away from him. Now." His voice was too-familiar, the voice of my master, not my father.

But that time I dared to lift my chin and say no. Which shocked everyone.

Father and I had a staring contest for a while before he finally sighed and glared at Lloyd. "I see. Very well. But keep an eye on him." 

Only Albert and Dart remained against this, and probably because of what had happened to Lavitz and me. 

"Majority rules, kiddo. You're outnumbered. You lose."

"Not necessarily." Meru whispered quietly. "As leader, Dart could overrule us."

"Shush." I told her, and staring down Dart the way a mother does to her son, I won.

So right now, I'm sharing a room with Shana again, and Lloyd has his own, because it would be unwise for him to room with one of the males. God only knows how many broken bones each would have by morning.

Tomorrow, the Queen Fury _sets sail with nine new passengers to the island of the Sea Dragon, so that we can kill it and keep a promise to a little boy. I just hope that things can remain civilized until then._


	19. Entry Fourteen: Pulse

__

Diary ~ 

This journey just keeps getting more interesting by the day. We are again on the blasted Queen Fury_, sailing the oceans. Meru, Shana, and I are the only ones who will speak to Lloyd. Rose, after supporting my side, retreated into her own darkness, crankier than usual and no longer shy and polite to me. Kongol who had also stood on my side, now casts me an apologetic glance and said that "leader Dart's" opinion was that Lloyd was dangerous. Father has been acting all but suspicious and rude to everyone lately. I have no idea why he supported me since he obviously hates Lloyd and my decision to help him so much. Not to mention Albert won't even look at me nowadays, and Dart keeps all our conversations short. He wasn't even like this in his teenage years…_

"I'm not worth this." Lloyd finally said one day. He has taken to long silences and quiet musings. 

"Of course you are. It'll just take them a while to get used to the idea." I told him almost painfully; I was trying hard not to throw up. "They've no choice anyway. If you leave, I'm leaving with you, and that would upset my son, which would affect the rest of them to some extent. Besides, they need you in order to find out what on earth's going on with this so-called Emperor Diaz."

In spite of his casual attitude and smirking face, Lloyd really does have a low self-esteem. I wonder what Dart would say if I told him everything that had been going on.

Meru still hasn't exactly come outright and told us that she is a Wingly, which is fine with me. It's her secret. But I see Lloyd sometimes looking at her in disapproval. When I asked him why, he said that it was because Meru didn't take pride in her Wingly blood. "She parades around dressed like a human, acting like a human. I've never seen her exercise her wings once. How can she stand it if she has wings and doesn't use them?" He said at one time. 

"I don't have wings either. I can't fly. What do Wingly wings look like? I've only seen them in textbooks."

At this, he smirked and turned around. The two ridges along his back that were his shoulder blades bulged further, until the black cloth of his vest tore two long slits through which his wings slid through. They were beautiful, like gossamer or spider web, and I didn't dare to touch them. They were about an arm's length each and caught the light and reflected it like dew did. 

"One day I will take you flying." Lloyd promised, retracting the wings and leaving the two tears in his vest.

I'm feeling so nauseous from this seasickness that I can't even think of flying or doing anything else that took more energy than talking. "You take a lot of pride in being a Wingly, but don't blame Meru for choosing to ignore her heritage for now. Not many people are…accepting. I mean Winglies did enslave the Humans at one point, and a lot of people don't really forgive and forget, even if it was eleven thousand years ago."

"You did."

"Yes well, I've given it a lot of thought. And besides, Meru is the Water Dragoon now. She's sticking with the rest of the Dragoons and so are you, so get used to it. I have a feeling she'll show her wings sooner or later anyway." 

"I doubt she even knows what forest she came out of." Lloyd was still rambling about that. 

"I do too." Meru had surprised us both by appearing behind us, hands on her hips and an indignant look on her face. "I came from the Evergreen Forest of Winglies in Mille Seseau, one of the biggest forests there is, so HA!" She crossed her arms. "Don't you dare say I don't take pride in being a Wingly. Sure, there are some things about Wingly blood that I don't like, like how Winglies once imprisoned humans and made them fight to the death, and how most humans hate them nowadays, but I wouldn't give up my blood and my wings!" Tears sparkled in her eyes and she stamped her foot. "I was just gonna come clean and tell everyone that, because I figured if you did, I could too. Then at least I would have another Wingly with me."

It was a long time before anyone said anything, but finally Lloyd said, "All right. I apologize."

I had put my arm around her and gave her my seat. "It's all right. Rose and I already know anyway, and I doubt the others will care what race you are. Lloyd's just being mean." When he opened his mouth to protest I glared at him and he quieted, apologizing again.

There was one thing that confused me. "What are you two talking about, forests, anyway?"

"Winglies don't exactly roam the earth like they used to." Meru said, sniffling. "So they stay in their forests, concealed by magical portals, away from the rest of the world. My forest was so stuffy and old-fashioned, and I couldn't handle it! So I broke the laws by coming out into the human world, to see if I could learn more about humans." She seemed to have forgiven Lloyd, because she asked him what forest he was from and why he broke the laws.

"Actually, I didn't break any of the laws because I don't belong in any forest. I lived in a secluded place, magical, but not exactly a forest. There weren't many people there. When I left, no one stopped me." He replied. "I didn't mean to insult you. I was merely upset that you didn't take pride in being a Wingly like I did."

"I do too." She repeated and the conversation was over. I guess it was on a friendly note, because they talk now. Meru had told us all last night that she was a Wingly, and there was some discussion, but basically, like I predicted, nobody really cared. Meru was our friend, and it didn't matter what race she was! Now all they have to do is realize that Lloyd is our friend too…

A thought just crossed my mind. What if he isn't, and this is all just another ploy?

No, impossible. I had seen the look on his face as I told him the truth, and as he told me the truth. He truly believed in his goal, and he believed what I said, so there is no way he can be deceiving us.

If only Dart would realize_ that!_

I suppose he inherited his father's stubbornness. 

I wonder what Zieg would think of Lloyd, and how he would feel if I told him that I was a bit attracted to Lloyd. Just a bit, you know? Would Zieg be angry? After all, I was_ his wife, but he had always been understanding. Had he changed since Rose knew him? If he were alive now, and knew she was too, who would he choose?_

It occurred to me that I would be okay with either choice. Hmm, strange. 

Anyway, we reached the island surprisingly quick, and enlisting the help of Pete, who remembered us, we were led to the Prison Island, where the Dragon rested, screaming. Its roars echoed through the caves as we crossed a fast-flowing river deeper into the cave, where the Sea Dragon undoubtedly lay.

Meru screamed when she neared it, her hands at her head. 

We went to her immediately and when Shana managed to calm her down with a touch of her Dragoon Spirit, Meru was panting, with tears in her eyes. "The Dragon's name is Regole." She told us, and her voice was sure. "It's my Dragon, the Dragon of Water. It's…lonely. Confused…and scared…" She looked at Dart. "Do we have to kill it?"

I remember seeing him stare at her inquisitively.

"It's my Dragon. I'm sure you feel it too. When you become a Dragoon, you just know_ your Dragon and everything about it. You feel it. Like, I know that its original mistress was Damia, a young girl, half human and half mermaid."_

Rose made an inarticulate sound, and if everyone wasn't looking at her, I'm sure that she would have shed a tear or two.

"I don't want to kill it, Dart." Meru continued. "But you're in charge, and if you tell me to fight, I will. But… is there another way? Maybe…maybe we can convince it to stop, and avoid any bloodshed."

Dart looked at me for advice for half a second before realizing that he wasn't speaking to me, and then at Albert, his co-leader now that he didn't trust Rose. The King of Serdio listened to the painful roars of the Dragon, looked at Meru's tears, and nodded. 

"Fine. Meru, you can have your chance to persuade it. We'll try as hard as we can to keep from killing it, okay? But…no promises. If it doesn't listen, we'll have to kill it."

The Wingly girl hugged him tightly and let out a yell of triumph. "Thanks, Dart! I'm sure that I can do something."

As we walked further along into the cave, Albert walked over to me, dragging a struggling Dart behind him by the arm. I was surprised how a young pretty-boy like the king was able to restrain a larger and taller boy as my son. "Claire, can we talk to you?" He was looking at Lloyd as he said this.

I shook my head. "I'm tired of the behind-the-curtain whispers. Whatever you want to say to me, you can say in front of Lloyd, even more so if it's about him. Shoot. What's wrong?"

Dart struggled more strongly at this, until Albert kicked him in the back of the leg.

"For goodness sake, you two are acting ten years younger than your age. Stop being immature and just tell me whatever it is you're thinking about."

Albert clearly didn't want to say this in front of Lloyd, so he kept his eyes firmly on my face and said, "I'm sorry. And Dart's sorry too. Or at least he will be if he doesn't say it right now. But…I guess I've been a King too long, having things in black and white. The defendant was either guilty or innocent. I'm sorry, Lloyd, and I'm willing to give you a second chance, even though it wasn't really your fault. And I'm sorry, Claire, for being a fool and not respecting your opinion."

Dart mumbled something and when Albert kicked him again, he scowled and said in a louder voice, "I'm sorry too, Mom. I guess I should have been more understand. It's just that…Lavitz…" 

Lloyd cleared his throat, bringing their attention to him. "I apologize too, for hurting your friend."

Looking between them and feeling the awkwardness in the air, I clapped my hands and spoke. "Well, then, it's all settled. I'm glad. Now when this is over, I won't have to ground you, Dart. Now, shall we get on?"

"Uh…actually, it's not exactly all_ settled. Haschel seems to …not have…quelled his…unpleasantness over this topic yet. I wouldn't go near him if I were you, Lloyd. He was talking about ripping your head off." Albert warned. "He doesn't seem to like the attention that his daughter is giving you."_

Away from what happened to right now, I can't believe_ that Father is making such a big deal of this! But I suppose all parents do… No, that's not right. I was happy when Dart showed an interest in Shana. Well, that was because I was close to Shana as well, and I approved of her. We can't have this tension on the team. Father should know that! It seems like I will have to have a talk with him._

Anyway, back to the entry, Lloyd and Albert had struck up a conversation about the government in Bale, and Dart was speaking to me. "Mom, Grandpa was right, wasn't he? You are_ taken with Lloyd."_

I wasn't sure how to answer that, so I just shrugged and went with the truth. "I suppose so, yes."

Dart shut his eyes and pinched his nose. "God, Mom, he's at least ten years younger than you."

"It's just a number." I replied. "Besides, he's a Wingly. They have longer lives, if they take care of themselves properly. He could be anywhere from twenty somewhat to as old as the Dragon Campaign."

"God."

I shrugged again. "Sorry, kiddo."

"Is he going to be my stepfather?"

That _question I couldn't ignore. I would have exclaimed no, but I started cracking up. Arms wrapped around my sides, doubled over, cracking up. _

"Mom? It wasn't a joke."

"Stepfather?" I gasped when I managed to breathe again. "Sweetheart, I don't think you understand something! It's a little crush, maybe a little deeper. And there are so many things wrong with what you just said. One: I haven't even told him. Two: He doesn't feel the same way. Three: What on earth makes you think that?"

Dart managed to shrug and scowl at the same time. "I don't know. I guess I'm still a kid after all when it comes to my mother."

I gave him a hug and told him that if I ever came to such a life-altering decision, I would consult him first. Father observed this from a distance and although he still seemed to hate Lloyd, he did give him a Healing Potion when he asked. I guess that's a start, right?

It's a delight to watch Lloyd fight. Aside from his unbelievable strength and wind-swift speed, he was a beauty on the battlefield, liquid-fluid moves and mountain-cat grace.

Uh-oh, maybe Dart and Father were right and it's more than just a little crush.

When we encountered Regole, it was at the end of the cave, which we thought was solid rock until Shana discovered a draft of wind near the ground, which was a small tunnel. Rose tested the size of it.

"If we squeeze, I think we can all fit, except for Kongol." Rose looked at the Giganto with a sympathetic grimace. "Looks like you have to stay here. We can double back for you after we're finished with Regole."

Kongol shook his head, his eyes anxious. "Kongol not want to be alone! Kongol need company. Kongol not alone."

It was a confession to his loneliness and it also gave him enough strength to grab his axe and chuck it at the wall hard enough so that it splintered and collapsed. Now it was big enough for him to fit. 

Rose gaped at him for a moment. "Well, uh, I guess that would work. Should we go?" She looked at Dart as she said this, and he nodded. I notice that they still do not engage in voluntary conversation. My son is still upset over what she has done. But their tension is so subtle that the others merely think they have nothing to talk about and that nothing is amiss. I wonder if Dart will ever forgive her? And will she ever forgive herself?

Regole was a beautiful Dragon, long and slithery, with skin like mushy rubber. Its head swiveled on its neck as it screamed and roared. 

"Water Dragon Regole!" Meru yelled as she transformed and flew up to be on eye level with it. It was the first time I had seen her transform. I am envious of her beautiful armor. "Regole! Do you know me?"

The Dragon stopped its screaming and the silence was frightening as the whiskers on its face twitched and it arched its neck toward her. I was so scared; I thought it was going to eat her, until it let out a beautiful mournful wail. Meru smiled, reached out a hand and settled it on its snout. "I am the new Water Dragoon, Meru, and your new master."

Regole wailed, nudging at her hand again. 

Meru smiled at it, placed a delicate kiss on its water-slick forehead and flew back down to us, de-transforming back into a Human. She tossed a look at Lloyd and then her wings slid out of her skin.

It was weird watching it. When Lloyd showed me his wings, he had a vest over his back, so I couldn't really see it. But Meru's flesh on her back was pale and uncovered and I could actually see the skin bulging out and bursting open like a caterpillar emerging from the cocoon. It was frightening and strangely beautiful at the same time.

"See? I'm not ashamed to be a Wingly." She told him, fluttering in the air. 

Lloyd's wings appeared too, conveniently using the tears in his vest that he had created before. Along with the others, who had never seen Wingly wings—aside from Rose who had known them up close and personal, Soa knows how many wings she had severed in the Dragon Campaign—I stared at them, mesmerized.

He must have seen me looking at them. "You can feel them if you want." He stretched out a wing slightly, but not much, because their wings were attached directly to their shoulder blades and to stretch them sideways would be like pulling your finger sideways too hard.

Hesitantly as if afraid I would somehow hurt him, or break them if I wasn't gentle enough, I trailed my fingertips over them. You have no idea how good it feels! Physically, they are like glass, strong and stiff, inflexible. But…when I felt them, my entire body quivered with magical energy. It was like the wings themselves thrummed with power so that when I pulled back I felt slightly lightheaded and euphoric. 

"Our wings is mainly what separates us from Humans." Lloyd told me. "It's our power."

"You're lucky." I told him, feeling a bit awkward because the others were watching this exchange, especially Father, and I knew his eyes were narrowed. Later on, Shana told me that he was looking furious.

"I wasn't lying before," Lloyd said, and his voice had dropped quieter, though not so much so that the others would think we were sharing some secret. "I will take you flying one day."

"So!" A voice yelled. I had jumped back as though caught doing something wrong, and a woman leapt down a few yards away, her hands on her hips. After a few moments I recognized her as Lenus, from the devastatingly revealing costume she was wearing, which showed a long and deep scar across her chest, maybe a stab wound that had been dragged.

"You bastard!" She screamed, jabbing a finger accusingly at Lloyd. "I should have known!"

He stared at her in sort of an amused way, yet his surprise evident on his face. I remember thinking that wherever he had come from, he must have been some sort of royalty, because he acted the part almost as well as Albert did. "I thought you died."

"I did. Or at least for a while. I might have just passed out."

"I checked your pulse. You were dead."

Lenus rolled her eyes and glared at him as if they were the only people here. "Give me a break, Lloyd. Maybe you've been away from your forest for too long. You forget that Winglies can stop their heartbeat for several minutes, to fool the enemy. The deep stab wound helped too. It was easy to pass out and stop my pulse."

"Lloyd stabbed her?" Shana murmured.

"No." I snapped, glaring at Lenus. "The crazy bitch stabbed herself." I didn't mean to swear, it's just that I was pissed at the way she was talking to Lloyd.

Now Lenus turned fully to look at me. "Oh, it's you." She took a step forward, and I thought she was going to attack me because I moved into a fighting stance, reflex. 

Lloyd must have thought so too, because he snapped for the first time. "Leave her alone!"

Lenus stared at him, her eyes hurt and angry. "So. I knew it. You've left me for her. You back-stabbing sorry piece of shit!" 

He glared at her, and moved forward until he was standing next to me. His way of protecting me, I suppose. "If you stop to think_ for a minute, woman, with your _brain_ instead of your hormones, you might realize that I was never _with_ you in the first place so I could never _leave_ you! You did everything for me out of your own free will, and I never had to convince you and I never led you on."_

Lenus was now staring at him in horror and pure fury. "You…you bastard!" 

"I don't know what you're thinking, lady, but you better leave." I think it was the first time I really lost my temper, except for that time when Dart was a kid and the town bully punched him. "You're not the Water Dragoon anymore, and you hold no power over us. Get out of the way."

"Shut up!" She yelled, putting her hands over ears. "Shut up, shut up, shut UP!"

Her hands suddenly slid down her sides, to the twin chakrams on both of her outer thighs, lifted them out of their hooks and threw them. 

"Look out!" Shana would later on tell me what had happened, but this is what I remember. Suddenly I was a few steps sideways, bewildered. One of the circular knives had launched past me, shearing off a length of my hair. Lloyd was sprawled on his knees, in front of me. Shana told me he had pushed me out of the way. 

He had saved me from one, but not the other. As Lenus had aimed for chest level, and he was kneeling, it was going to behead him. 

"No!" I reached for the one deflecting weapon—a blade—within reach. The Dragon Buster.

I grabbed the dragon-head hilt from its resting place on Lloyd's right hip. There was no blade, and I remembered that in Hellena Prison the blade had appeared when he held it. But there wasn't time. So I did the only thing I could do at that moment, without killing myself.

I willed_ the blade to appear. _

It came as Called, fiery tendrils twisting around my wrist and turning to snake up into the air and form the blade. It looks sort of like Wingly wings, threaded through with what looks like spider webs, yet it was stronger than the most powerful alloy. 

Including Lenus's chakram.

Holding it with both hands, I tilted the blade upright and swung. I actually managed to hit the chakram and deflect it.

But my aim was wrong. Maybe because the blade was so damn HEAVY!_ But instead of knocking it back to Lenus as I had intended, it soared at Dart and Shana. I screamed. _

Shana knocked my son out of the way. The blade just barely missed her. It even cut a tear through her shirt, but not the skin. Thank…the stars for that.

The chakram itself flew back to Lenus. She caught it expertly. 

"Lenus!" Meru yelled, and Regole echoed her anger, thrashing in the water. "Stop!"

Lenus responded by tossing the chakram at Meru.

And Meru hovered there in the air, unmoving. Her fists were clenched but she wasn't moving. At the last second she transformed. The circular blade rebounded off of her Dragoon chest armor, clattering to the ground after ricocheting off several objects. 

As soon as she had withstood the attack, Meru moved. 

I had no idea she could do that. I had always thought of her as a quick child, but never so powerful. 

With an uplifting motion of her hands, the water in the lake moved. Up. A tsunami kind of up. A tidal wave. It crashed down on Lenus and pushed her down into the water. Meru kept the water moving, pushing, down now, swirls and whirlpools appearing on the surface. 

Finally, after a couple of minutes, she stopped. The water calmed and Regole wailed. Lenus's body floated to the surface and the Sea Dragon carried it to the shore. 

Meru transformed back with a flash of blue light, collapsing on her hands and knees. The others rushed over to her, but she seemed all right. She's being really quiet now, though. I wonder if she feels guilty for killing Lenus, who was also a Wingly, and blood to her, after all. But Lenus had tried to kill us, and that made her another one of the simple monsters that attacked for no reason. Which meant she had to be killed. I have no qualms about it. But maybe I should talk to Meru after I finish this entry.

Anyway—that seems to be a common word in my entries—we stuck around to make sure that Lenus really and truly was dead. While they were bustling over Meru and Shana, I spoke to Lloyd.

"Thank you."

He had hit his arm on a rock when he pushed me out of the way, and he was nursing it then, but he managed to smile. "Not a problem. Your life is worth saving. Besides, if it weren't for me, Lenus wouldn't have tried to attack you."

Rose came over to us. "Claire, you managed to Call on the blade of the Dragon Buster."

Lloyd seemed to suddenly remember this as well. "That's right. How did you do that?"

"Uh…I willed it. I just called on it, and it came." I didn't understand why they were making such a big deal about it. I still don't. Lloyd and Rose just told me to leave it, that it didn't matter. But if it didn't, why did Rose frown and Lloyd have a strange glint in his eyes?

Well, after we waited for about twenty minutes to make sure that Lenus wasn't faking her non-pulse, we left. 

While we were on our way back, Father walked over to Lloyd and held out his hand, somewhat reluctantly. "Er…thanks. I guess. You know, for saving my daughter. She's all I have, you know."

Lloyd shook his hand. "No problem." That might be when Haschel and Lloyd first started their friendship, though the threat in Father's last words was evident.

Oh yeah, my hair. Lenus's chakram cut off a length of it when it whizzed by me. I was…very upset by this. But Shana and Meru offered to fix it for me. I'm not sure whether I should trust them. Meru, though she had shown maturity and bravery back there, was back to her hyperactive self, and I am afraid that she will go snip-happy and chop off more than Lenus did. And Shana? Well, I let her cut my hair once when she was fourteen. It…did not come out well.

Maybe I'll ask Rose for help. Her hair seems nice and even.


	20. Entry Fifteen: The Calm

Diary ~ 

My hair actually looks nice. A bit weird, but nice. When Meru and Shana had approached me with a pair of scissors, I had screamed, running all over the ship to escape them, much to the amusement of the onlookers.

Rose was my savior, agreeing to supervise and make sure they didn't make any drastic mistakes. But a hidden laughter in her eyes told me she might just let them carry on a bit before intervening. She must have been rather mischievous all those years ago. 

Shana and Meru cut off both sides up chin-length, nice and straight (actually they were trying shoulder length but kept having to even it out because it was all lopsided.) But they left the center of the back its original length, up to my waist, before braiding it and winding it around my head and pinning it in place. It looks weird, but Father had grudging admitted that it looked better than letting it loose around my face like some sort of drowned ghost. But I keep wailing about how long it had taken me to grow it that long, bringing the first smile to Father's face in a long while.

When we returned to Fletz we were heroes. Regole now roamed the oceans freely, with Meru's promise to the humans that he wouldn't hurt them, but still he chose Prison Island as his home. Ironic, the name. The threat of the Sea Dragon now no more and the fake Princess Emille disposed of, peace had returned to Tiberoa, and for that we were honored. 

King Zior, the "stupid" spell broken, now seemed to be quite well-spoken and intelligent. He said that we were now venerated guests, each of us getting our own guest room, and that there was to be a feast in our honor. He seemed so overjoyed about getting his real daughter back that he didn't even seem to mind when Lloyd said that he had not helped and he did not deserve to attend. Zior merely waved him off, saying, "Nonsense."

Lisa and the real Emille as well, had warmed up to us, being extraordinarily polite and friendly. When they spoke to Lloyd however, he just said that he was undeserving of the feast and the honor, and that he hadn't helped much at all. They stared at him with politely quizzical looks on their faces, smiling and switching the conversation to Father, who was much more talkative.

As we left, I hissed at Lloyd, "Stop being such a downer. It's depressing me and everyone else."

"But what I did…"

"You're coming to the feast tonight and you're going to be smiling and having a good time or I will personally shave you bald." Somehow my nails had found their way into his hand, and he winced. 

I have no idea why I said, "shave you bald". Maybe I was still feeling paranoid about my own hair.

I was meditating in my own room (with fresh smelling linen and silver trays with little treats on them and lavender candles to dispel headaches) later on when Shana burst in. 

"Claire!" She was crying. "Dart and Rose…they're fighting!"

The news surprised me, I think, but my body refused to show it. My mouth said, "I know," and my legs pushed me off the bed and toward the training room, where I somehow knew they would be.

The others had gathered to watch the fight, and I squeezed past Father and Albert to see.

Rose and Dart were indeed fighting, swords out, additional attacks in full progress. They moved with such grace and expertise that to others perhaps it would seem like an intense sparring session, but the hate on Dart's face and the pain on Rose's proved otherwise. So did the blood.

Rose had a cut along her brow and another on her left arm. Dart had one across his collarbone. 

Rage in their voices when they attacked. I remember watching as if from a daze, my own hands clenched into fists at my waist, with Shana tugging on my arm, wailing, "Claire, you have to stop them!" And Kongol and Meru were confused and Albert was yelling and Lloyd was watching and Father kept trying to go forward to stop them before I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. 

"It's a personal issue." I told them. "It's something they _have_ to settle. Just give them a few moments and let them fight it out."

I wasn't sure who I wanted to win. Dart was my son and had the vengeance song, but honestly it wasn't Rose's fault, and she was…a friend.

In the end, Dart won. The soldiers had now gathered around to watch. My son knelt down besides Rose, his blade resting against the vein throbbing beneath the pale skin of her throat. He leaned lightly against his sword, and glared at her. He said something quietly to her, then stood up and took his sword away.

I began to breathe again, exhaling a gasp that had been frozen in my throat. 

Dart walked over to me, sheathed his sword, and hugged me.

It was like when he was a child, and had been pushed down by the town bully in Neet. He had come home completely silent, and reached up for a hug, and I gave it to him, and suddenly I understood everything that had happened.

There were tears on his face when he pulled back. I used my sleeve to wipe them away. "It's over now, Dart. You've settled everything, yes?"

"Yes."

"Good. You feel better now?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Then go get some rest, sweetie. You need it. Get ready for the feast tonight then."

He nodded obediently, turned to leave, with Shana following him, fussing over the cuts that he had.

"What was that about?" Father asked immediately.

"…Something that they're not ready to reveal to you yet. You'll learn in due time. In the meanwhile, leave them alone about this, okay?" I responded, and held out a hand to Rose. Her mouth was turned down, and she accepted it.

"Is it really over?" She asked.

"Come on." I told her. "Let's get you to the palace doctor." I never answered her question.

The fight was out of their minds quickly as the feast drew nearer. Father and I wandered the halls, annoying the caterers about the meal. Actually, Father did that, I just followed because I was bored and I knew it made him happy to have fun with his daughter.

When we wandered out onto a terrace, we saw Dart and Shana. They were talking very quietly and holding hands, looking into each other's eyes.

Father noticed them first, skidded to a stop, causing me to crash into him.

And just when they were about to kiss, Lisa's handmaiden walked by, obviously going to talk to them. 

"L-Lidira!" I couldn't be sure that was her name.

But she stopped anyway, turning to look at me, confused. "Oh. Libria, ma'am. My name is Libria. How can I be of service?"

"Don't go out there." Father told her. "Don't."

"But Princess Lisa told me to tell them that the feast—"

"Don't go out there." Father repeated.

"But—"

"Libria, darling, listen closely." I smiled at her. "I've been wanting my son to fall for this girl for the past…thirteen or so years. It's happening _now_ and if you go out there, I may have to kill you."

Maybe I went a little far. Her eyes widened and she squeaked. "Yes, ma'am!" And fled down the stairs.

I shrugged sheepishly at Father, who grinned back.

Dart and Shana were then so close, but then what do you know, Fester the stupid annoying nosy astronomy-crazed moron has to walk in. Oops, I'm being mean. I guess I was just angry. But he had slipped by us and by the time we noticed him it was too late. 

Father lunged at him, missing him and falling face-flat on the floor. I heard the clunk and lunged too, managing to grab onto Fester's ankle. Unfortunately, it caused him to fall forward too, knocking the doors open and shocking Dart and Shana. It must have been very funny, seeing the esteemed astronomer on his hands and knees, Dart's mother lying on her side clutching his ankle, and _her_ father a few feet behind, also sprawled.

"Mom? Grandpa? Fester?"

"Uh…the feast is in two hours. You two should start getting ready." Fester said, glancing backward.

I released my hold on his ankle, and when the three of us hustled away, I hastily explained to him why I had attacked him and he walked off looking bewildered. By the way, he still seems to be avoiding me. I wonder why?

Libria rounded everyone up for the preparations before the feast, though I noticed that she stayed a safe distance from me and always kept someone between us. It's not like I would actually kill her. Nevertheless, she kept glancing at me nervously.

The two Princesses had sent her to get us ready, which meant, "dress up". Hmm. I hadn't dressed up since…ever, actually. As a child, I was too busy training to go to feasts and the like. And life with Zieg had never called for any special dressy occasions, nor did life in Seles. Besides, I wasn't used to dresses (which had quite upset Shana's mother, who never wore anything _but_ dresses), so I told Libria no, thank you.

To my surprise, Father objected. "I never got a chance to see my little girl grow up or celebrate her birthdays. Most of that is my fault, and I never let her dress up to go out with her friends. I need to rectify that. Claire, could you go put on a dress, just so I could see how you look?"

I did it only for Father, because the dress was horribly itchy on my legs, with some ridiculous poofy satin inside to make the skirt look flowing. The dress was sleeveless, a muted silver color, with sparkling blue threads woven into the bodice. I decided I didn't like it, but the others all complimented me, so I kept it. 

Aside from myself, Shana was the only other one who had decided to dress up. Her dress was a beautiful pale violet, and she had a small tiara set into her hair. Her beauty rivaled that of Princess Lisa's, but she didn't accepted the invitations of the many men that requested a dance with her, in fact, she spent most of the night outside on the balcony, talking to Dart. 

Meru ate so much food that she instantly became the cook's new best friend and Rose sat through every dance, guzzling goblet after goblet of wine, until the king himself asked her if that was wise, after which she stopped and stood to the side, watching Dart and Shana out of narrowed eyes. Albert and Emille danced together and spent the entire night conversing and Kongol sat awkwardly by himself, occasionally talking and eating. 

I don't really know how to dance. Zieg had never been the social sort of husband that liked to appear at soirees and parties. He was more of the sit and home and cuddle type. Oops, now I've got a tear on the page and it smudged the ink. I danced with Father for a while, until they started playing a song that I really didn't like and I took a rest for a while. Then wonder of all wonders, Lloyd, who had been sitting off to the side and drinking (away from Rose, who he still didn't like, or feared, or whatever), came over to ask me to dance. 

Yeah right, I was gonna turn down that offer. It didn't matter that my feet hurt. The only problem was that I seemed to have trouble with this song. "Let me lead." Lloyd said, and I did. He danced like he fought.

Okay, so it wasn't a spectacular dance that made every head in the room turn, but it was okay, I suppose, and I had a good time. We danced three songs and would have danced more had Father not began glaring at Lloyd so furiously that the Wingly backed away from me with guilt in his eyes and face. Only then did Father's glares cease. I am not a little girl anymore, must he hound upon Lloyd as if he were a terrible murderer? Oh, bad analogy. 

Anyway, I am now out of that terribly itchy dress. Tomorrow we must go on that wretched _Queen Fury_ again and set sail for Mille Seseau. I wonder if it has changed much, and if I can go to see Neet. I must pay my respects and see my town again, to brave the painful memories that it will bring back. 


	21. Entry Sixteen: setna vaharu

Diary ~ 

Mille Seseau. I had spent a long part of my life here.

We pulled in at Fueno, the city of water. This was basically the opening to Mille Seseau, the place where you entered and exited. But the instant we pulled in Rose declared that there was something wrong, so Dart put us all on alert. It turned out that there was something wrong, a wolf that someone had been keeping for a pet had gotten loose and taken a little boy with it, disappearing into the forest. The mayor enlisted our help, so of course we had to help.

But no one told us that the wolf was gigantic! The size of it was suitable for Kongol to ride on. I remember nearly tripping over a tree root in surprise when seeing it. Yellowing teeth dripping with reddened saliva, and I was so shocked, I thought he had eaten the boy. But the boy emerged from the trees and ran off with the wolf, who seemed to obey him.

After defeating the wolf, Shana managed to return it to its normal state, the size of a large puppy, sending it and the little boy back to Fueno. When we returned to the forest, we got lost.

Yep, lost.

Embarrassing, is it not?

"Claire, didn't you mention that you had been in the forest before?" Father asked.

"I've been in the forest twice and found my way easily. I shouldn't be lost. But somehow we are."

Meru was giggling so hard I thought she was going to fall over. When asked what was so funny, she continued giggling and couldn't stop, finally jabbing Lloyd in the shoulder so that he could speak for her.

"She finds it hilarious that we're all lost, because she knows the forest like the back of her hand." Lloyd explained. "Honestly, I don't understand how you people can be lost. It's not so difficult. There are even pathways."

"You know the way?" Dart roared, furious because we had been wandering around for at least two hours and darkness was seeping in. 

Lloyd and Meru exchanged a glance, and for the first time I saw Lloyd's playful nature. "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because it was fun watching you scurry around without a clue!" Meru chirped, and she flew into the air, squeaking as Rose lunged for her neck. Rose had been a bit touchy lately because she was angry that she had gotten herself lost.

"It's getting dark and you _know_ how dangerous it is to stay in the Forest at night!" Dart yelled. "What were you two thinking?"

"Calm yourself, kiddo," I told him in that motherly voice that never fails to work. "I'm sure they wouldn't just strand us with no place to go, am I right?" But when I looked at Lloyd he just sort of shrugged.

He didn't answer for such a long time that I kicked him and yelled, "You don't _know_?" But then he looked so sheepish that I couldn't follow up on ranting.

"Don't worry." Meru said, as she flew off. "Follow me. I've a place to stay." 

It turns out that Meru led us to her forest, the one she had told Lloyd about. They weren't too happy to see her, saying that she had violated a sacred rule by leaving the forest, but she made a big scene and a Wingly named Guaraha went to get the Wingly in charge, the Ancestor Blano. 

Oh yeah, Guaraha is her fiance! And she never told us! We're her friends and she never told us. When I confronted her about it, she just shrugged sheepishly and said that she forgot. How do you forget a fiance?

Although until that point I hadn't even told Lloyd my late husband's name. But I saw him talking to Rose the night before we arrived in the Forest. Maybe she mentioned Zieg. Or maybe they were arguing. Seeing as how she was scowling and he was shaking his head, I think so.

The Ancestor allowed us to stay for the night before we headed off again, and while most of the Winglies obeyed him without much grumbling, some of them just plain weren't happy at all to see us Humans here. We have to keep our weapons close at hand. Dart was almost attacked by a tall Wingly before Father and I jumped him from opposite sides and pinned him to the ground until his brother came and began to fight with us, at which point Kongol intercepted. I had always thought of him as a bit of a pacifist, despite his obvious fighting technique. It's just that he never really fought unless it was absolutely necessary, and never ever got involved in a bar fight or even a little skirmish as I often do. 

Kongol ripped both brothers off everyone and dangled them in the air by the back of their collars, transforming into Dragoon when they tried to throw fireballs at him. He had discovered it in a cave in Tiberoa and after defeating its guardian, the cave's resident mutated slug, he inherited the Dragoon Spirit. The Wingly brothers weren't dazed by this, saying that Dragoons were nothing compared to Winglies. But both Rose and Lloyd were automatically snapping that the Dragoons had defeated the Winglies in the Dragon Campaign. Rose's words caused them to glare at her, but Lloyd's words made them freeze on the spot. They obviously recognized him. Mumbling an apology, they slinked off. I wonder why Lloyd is so well-respected in this forest that he has never been to?

Meru went to see her mother and father but then pretended not to know her, and completely ignored her. Seeing the pain in her eyes as she ran back to us, I walked up to the Winglies and let them have a piece of my mind. I guess I was pretty impressive because the man was standing shocked and the woman began to cry, and held out her hand to Meru.

I don't think they like me very much for yelling at them, but so what? It didn't matter if Meru wasn't the perfect daughter they had dreamed of. Dart's quick temper and stubborn streak didn't necessarily make him a saint but I loved him with all my heart and how Meru's parents could have turned their backs on her is a mystery to me.

That night I made sure I had my fighting gloves and then knocked on Lloyd's door. He opened it looking rumpled from sleep, with his hair falling into his face, and surprised to see me. I asked him to come out for a walk because I needed to talk to him. So, strapping the Dragon Buster to him, we walked out onto the rooftop, where it would be easy to spot any Winglies from attacking us.

"So what did you want to talk about?" he asked when we sat down for a while.

"I've something to tell you." Maybe not the best way to start it off. 

"Oh, it's never good when a woman says that." Lloyd lay on his back and folded his hands under his head and looked at the stars with eyes that were shut tightly. "Let me guess…something to do with your husband?"

"How did you know I had a—oh stupid question, never mind." Of course he knows, idiot, you've a grown son! 

"Uh huh. You ran into him again?"

"Not likely, as he's dead." My voice was dry as dust.

This caused him to sit up and look at me. "Sorry." I could have sworn that I had told him before, but maybe he just forgot.

"So am I. Don't worry about it. But no it doesn't have to do with Zieg."

He had begun to lay back down but he sat back up quickly. "What? What was your husband's name?"

"Zieg. Zieg Feld."

Lloyd ran his gloved fingers through the silk of his silver hair. "Dart mentioned his father's name was Feld, but I never thought it was the same person. I thought Zieg Feld died in the Dragon Campaign? Fighting a one-on-one against Melbu Frahma, the emperor of the Winglies?"

"I thought so too, but he was reincarnated or something. That's the only logical reason, since there's no way he could have lived for eleven thousand years. Rose only does so because of her choker, and my husband did not wear anything resembling that."

"Well…" Lloyd hesitated. "There's something I forgot to mention to you. He could if he was a Wingly."

"What?"

"Winglies, if properly trained and with a high enough magical level, can live thousands of years. And my father was a great scientist. He found a way to expand the life span of a Wingly. But because it was dangerous in the wrong hands, he used it only on himself, my mother, and I."

"So how old are you?" I asked tentatively.

"Um…let me put it this way. If I hadn't been hiding with my family at that time, I could have been an Original."

You can imagine how much of a shock that was to me. But I always fell for the older guys, right? I can't wait to tell Dart. He had been trying to dissuade me from taking an interest in Lloyd, saying that I was "much too old for him", seeing as how Lloyd appeared to be no more than twenty-somewhat. Wait until he hears that Lloyd is actually thousands of years older than I!

"Oh." I said to Lloyd, and then, "Was that why the two Wingly brothers shied away after seeing you? And is that why your magic is so powerful?"

"My magic and skills are powerful because of careful training, but yes, due to the length of my training. But that's not why the Bardels ran off. It's because my father is a well-renowned scientist, respected in all the forests. If anything happened to me, my father would…not be happy."

"Same as mine. And the same way I feel about Dart. I guess it's a parental thing."

"Your father hates me. He's all but challenged me to a one-on-one." Lloyd grinned. "Anyway, what was this big secret that you dragged me out here to listen to? About your husband?"

"I never said it was about my husband. You simply assumed that. But it does have to do with a man."

"Uh…you've met someone?"

"Yep." I couldn't help grinning like an idiot. But Lloyd insists that it was only a coquettish smile. 

"Who is it? Anyone I know?"

"Yep." I replied again, then took a deep breath and said, "_Setna vaharu_."

I didn't have the right accent, but Meru—squealing and excited—had taught me how to pronounce the Wingly words enough so that Lloyd knew it as clearly as if I had said it in my own language, "I love you."

He sat as shocked as I had been when he told me his age and for a moment I felt my heart hanging above a void by a single silver hair. 

But then Lloyd put one hand on my cheek and said, "_Setna vaharu._" I couldn't help smiling; he said it with much more grace than my clumsy pronunciations. "I think I loved you since that day you crashed into me in the arena and I showed you a hiding place from your father." His eyes widened. "Oh, your father isn't going to be happy with this. He's going to try to kill me, isn't he?"

"He probably will." I replied, all cheerful. "But I'll stop him before he can."

The rest of the night was spent snuggling under the stars—something I hadn't ever done with Zieg; he was so wrapped up in his studies—and talking quietly enough not to disturb anyone with an open window. I could imagine that Meru was sitting up, smothering laughter as she pictured what was happening. She's a teenager, she still has a perverted mind. Hmph. Well nothing like that was going to happen until everyone knew and I had a ring on my finger. 

The next day we told the others. Officially.

There was the usual yelling and attempts at hitting from both males in my family, and screaming and laughter from the girls, aside from Rose and Albert, both of whom seemed to watch with cynical smiles. 

But Father and Dart—the two who cared about me most and were opposed to this—had already long since knew of my feelings toward Lloyd, and whatever anger they had had just about played out by now. I could tell that they were actually relieved at this news because at least they knew it wasn't an unrequited love and that I would be hurt. So I guess they accepted it. Although Lloyd still squirms if Father walks by and gives him the evil eye.

The next day, thanking the Ancestor, we left for Deningrad. We were delayed when Guaraha begged Meru not to leave, but she said that she had to, she had to help her friends in getting the last Divine Moon Object. He was welcome to join us but she would not come back to the Forest.

Guaraha then launched into a debate about the rules of Winglies, which made Meru very upset until she started screaming at him and finally turned and ran toward us. But halfway there she paused and turned back, throwing her arms around him and sobbing into his chest.

Stunned at her sudden changes in mood, he simply held her until she finished crying. She promised that she would come back after everything was done and perhaps then they could settle their debate about the rules and what would happen, and finally be wedded. Guaraha nodded at this, kissed her, and sent her off, warning us that if we didn't take care good care of her he would kill us. The angry light in his eyes proved it. 

Meru sniffled for a while after we left her forest, but then she became the cheerful happy sprite that we all knew and loved.

When we reached a dirt path laid with quartz on one side, I knew the way. This was the path to Deningrad.

"I remember this path…" Dart said slowly, causing everyone to look at him. "Mom, were we ever here?"

"Yes, twice. The first time we fled from Neet to Deningrad, and the second time from Deningrad to Fueno. It's this path to the capital of Mille Seseau." I walked beside Dart, speaking with Shana about her strange powers, but she got upset so I stopped and spoke of Seles instead, and her parents. 

Deningrad was just as beautiful as I remembered it from years ago. The Palace loomed over the town like a crystalline guardian.

The weather had become much cooler so we all bought fur coats to keep warm. As we left the fur shop, Albert crashed into a young woman that sat on the snow-covered ground blinking around her. She seemed delicate, flustering as she groped around her. When I knelt to help her I saw that her eyes were black and far away. I didn't know she was blind until a short blonde took her arm and described us to her.

"I am Sister Setie." The blonde told us. "This is Sister Luanna."

The second name was not unfamiliar to me. I looked at the blind girl. "Did you…did you live in Neet eighteen years ago?"

She gasped, one hand flying to her mouth. "Come. Let us sit in the inn, and be comfortable as we talk."

The innkeeper didn't mind us using his sitting room, and from the way he looked at Luanna, it was no surprise. When we were all seated, she spoke again "Yes, I did live in Neet as a child. How did you know? Who are you?"

"My name is Claire. Do you remember me?"

"I think so. You were…you were married to the town scholar, weren't you? And you had a son. You came to see me when I first lost my eyesight."

"Yes, I was very good friends with your mother, Skia. Tell me, Luanna, how did you escape from Neet?" I noticed that Rose gave me an odd look. But, after all, she was the black Monster that devastated Neet, right?

"I don't know…it's a bit fuzzy in my memory." Her blind eyes looked heavenward. "I guess Soa spared me because I was supposed to grow up to be one of the Sacred Sisters of Mille Seseau."

"You wish." Rose said. "Soa cares nothing of your life."

Luanna gasped again. "You speak blasphemy!"

"I guess so. But that's not the reason that you were spared. You were blind then, right? The Black Monster doesn't have to kill anyone who doesn't see the Moon Child."

Setie narrowed her green eyes at Rose. "How do you know of this?"

Rose explained how she had been studying the patterns of the black Monster for a while, and then she told them the truth of the Moon Children. It took them a while for it to sink in, but they accepted it. It appears that Luanna received special powers during her life, sort of an inner intuition about things. She said that she knew we weren't lying. When she asked why we had traveled to Mille Seseau, Dart explained that we were here to help protect the last Divine Moon Object.

But as we left the inn, about to head to the palace, a shadow flew by, and the Dragoons all collapsed to the ground, writhing in pain. When I looked up into the sky I saw a Dragon.

It didn't look at all like Feyrbrand or Regole. It was plated with silver scales and blocked out the sun as it flew by. It took a long time for its length to disappear from view. The Dragoons had been in pain, Rose explained, because that was the Divine Dragon, the king of all of them, and his power had caused enough of a backwash to stun them. She also said that the king of dragons had been put to sleep thousands of years ago because his power was too great but somehow he had awakened and now we had to put it back because it is too dangerous.

The two Sacred Sisters immediately brought us to the palace then, leading us through corridors that thrummed with power. The person on the throne was speaking in quiet urgent tones to a very tall woman with a shock of blonde hair and gray eyes that were just as sharp as blades. 

The queen looked up as we enter and smiled. Her skin was the color of ebony but her eyes were pale blue. "Luanna, Setie. You're back. And you've brought visitors?" 

"Yes, your majesty." Setie began to explain how we had met, and that we were here to help defeat the dragon. Luanna then told her that we were here to protect the Moon Mirror as well.

The tall woman standing next to the queen glared at us. "They don't look like much. How can they defeat the Dragon by themselves?"

"Miranda, please." Queen Theresa told her quietly, and the woman shut up as the queen continued. "How are you going to defeat the dragon? How can we help?"

Lloyd answered this question. "That Dragon is the most powerful one there is. But there are two tools that can be used against it. We have in our possession the Dragon Buster. It can be used to kill Dragons. When we catch up to it, I believe that we can kill it if we engage it in battle. Also, if we return to the Forest of Winglies, we can get the Dragon Block Staff, which will limit the dragon's powers and make the fight easier."

The queen pondered this for a while. "Very well. It seems logical enough. Let me make a deal with you then. If you defeat the Dragon I shall give you the Moon Mirror. Stay here for the night, and gather your supplies. You can leave tomorrow for the Forest of Winglies."

"I'm going with them." Miranda said, much to the surprise of everyone.

Dart asked her why and she smiled in pretended sweetness. "If you are going to defeat the Dragon, you'll want my help. And besides, if you're going to get the Moon Mirror, I have to make sure you people deserve it."

Somewhere in the conversation Shana had disappeared. Leaving them to discuss their strategies with the queen and the sacred sister, I went in search for her. I found her in a room pulsating with so much power it gave me a headache. Shana was kneeling in the middle of it, praying, lost in a trance.

The others came in after me, and when Miranda entered the room, Shana screamed. The Dragoon Spirit flew off her neck and practically hurled itself at Miranda, who caught it with a cry of surprise and anger.

After another discussion, they agreed that the Dragoon Spirit had chosen Miranda so she was now the Healing Dragoon in Shana's place. Shana had fainted after losing the Spirit, so she was to stay here in Deningrad while they went to get the Dragon Block Staff.

I'm staying with Shana as she rests. If anything happens, she'll need someone to defend her, and I don't feel safe leaving her here. She's just too fragile. I feel terrible, knowing that somehow this is my fault but not knowing exactly how. Shana is like a daughter to me, and now she is being controlled by powers beyond her understanding. It's just not fair. 

They leave for the Forest tomorrow. Lloyd goes with them because he can pull rank on the Winglies if need be. Though I don't really trust the others to be very courteous to him if I'm not there. But I can't leave Shana by herself. I just hope they put their mission in front of their anger. 

Rose came to talk to me a few minutes ago. Shana was still unconscious, and Rose looked at her in pity for a moment before turning to me. "There are some question I want to ask you." She said. "You, Dart, and Luanna were the only survivors of Neet eighteen years ago, right?"

"As far as I know, yeah."

"You all saw the Moon Child, right?"

"More or less, yeah."

"And you all seemed to receive gifts because of that. Dart is a fine warrior, beyond that of human nature, almost. Luanna has her second sight. And you…you seem to have an intuition similar to Luanna's. You knew I was the Black Monster on the ship before I even told you. You recognized the Dragon Buster and were able to save Lavitz because of your quick thinking. The survivors who had seen the Moon Child came away with gifts of some sort. I don't understand it. Why did it happen? Why was I not told of this side effect?"

Her words blurred together in my mind so that I nearly passed out before regaining my calm. "I don't know either. I didn't even think about it that way. I just thought that Dart was special, and that he had a good master, a man in Seles who taught him sword. And my "intuition" as you put it, it's just been with me for a while. I don't even know that it's a power. I just thought it was good thinking. And Luanna I haven't even met extensively until today. She was a child in Neet, but I didn't know her that well. She was a playful child, and never showed any signs of a gift. I don't understand what you mean either."

Rose frowned. "The Moon Child is supposed to make the ones who saw it into their slaves. But…the three of you have seen it and in twenty years nothing has happened to you. I don't get it. Is my purpose wrong then? Have I been killing for nothing?"

It was then that I realized she was lost and confused. "I don't understand the full intensity of what would happen. But I do know this. It's better for one town to be obliterated every one hundred and eight years than for even the _possibility_ of the entire world being destroyed. If you stop, maybe the prophecy will come true and maybe it won't. But do you want to take that chance, Rose?"

She shook her head and smiled at me. "Thanks. You cleared up a lot of things for me. For that I'll make sure that no one tries to kill Lloyd on the journey tomorrow." She got up to leave. "You should really try to hone that power you have. It's very interesting and can come in handy."


	22. Attack

"Don't worry. I'll take care of everything for you." Miranda promised

Shana watched as they all filed out of the room, then turned to Claire. "Why didn't you go with them?"

"I don't like the idea of a little girl like you staying in the palace by herself. If anything happens, I can be of help. They're all fine warriors, without me they can still get to the Staff. Besides, I thought you might be bored. And it's kinda interesting here." Claire took off one glove and flicked the fingers of her hand against the wall, listening to the crystal hum in resonance. "Isn't it fascinating?"

"It seems that some of Zieg's curiosity spread to you during your marriage."

The ruby on the white gold band sparkled as it caught the lamplight. "I don't know about that. I've always been curious. Ask Father if you don't believe me. It's part of the reason I ran away from Rouge. That town is so sheltered! I wanted to know more about the world. I don't think my curiosity came from Zieg at all. In fact, our relationship was very…strange actually. It was a happy relationship, but we weren't close at all. We went through daily routines, we even loved each other enough to have Dart, but for some reason, I just don't…" She held a hand to her forehead, grimacing.

The younger girl placed her hand on Claire's arm. The look on her face was not mocking or in any way malevolent. It was open and sincere and warmed hearts the way fire would warm bodies. "It's all right. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to remember bad memories."

"They're not bad memories. Just…so distant now that I look at them again."

Shana smiled knowingly. The only sound in the room was the crystals humming in response to the exchange of noises in the castle, translating words into notes and casting them into the air. Then Shana blurted out with enough force to make the crystals rise an octave, "I don't know what to do!" 

"What?"

"I'm so scared, Claire!" She curled her legs up and sobbed into her hands. 

There were so many times that Claire comforted had her as she cried that it was now a second nature. Shana's mother was a kind woman and didn't mean to neglect her daughter, but as wife of the mayor, she had obligations and time-consuming duties. Often it was Claire that calmed Shana, as she did now, sitting next to her and putting an arm around her, letting her lean and cry on her shoulder. She did not say anything, but waited for her to talk.

When it was obvious that Shana had no words, Claire stroked her hair and hummed her lullaby as if the Seles girl is still a tiny child that slept over the house occasionally. The lullaby seems to soothe her, and the tears subside into hiccups and sniffles. 

"Now," The dark-haired woman brushed Shana's hair out of her eyes to make her look up. "What's wrong?"

Shrug. "I don't know what to do." Hiccup. "I have this weird power inside of me. I killed a giant snake and a Virage." Sniffle. Hiccup. "I can feel this insane energy inside my head that has nothing to do with my previous Dragoon Spirit." Sniffle. "I feel like…I feel restrained and held back. And that's just magic-wise." Hiccup. Hiccup. "I'm so scared about what can happen to Dart. I'm scared about what can happen on this journey. I don't want anyone to be hurt. I just want to stop and take a long nap."

"Sweetheart, so do I." Claire sighed, and the crystal walls echoed it in a haunting note. "This entire journey is insane. No one understands it and less people will believe it when and if it is finally over."

Sniffle. "Can you…help me, with any of those?"

"I can't help you, Shana. You're past the coming of age, as they say. You're a grown woman now. And even though I'll always be here for you, I can't be your fairy godmother than can wave her wand and make everything all right. I don't understand this power inside of you. But you saved my life by knocking that Virage away from me, and I'll be eternally grateful for that. You control this power to some extent. With some practice, you might be able to control it further. But that's just a guess. I can't guarantee anything.

"As for Dart, well, haven't we had this talk before? It's pointless to keep wondering and worrying about what will happen. Go ahead and _do_ it and you'll find out. I know you love him, and I know he loves you. Go for it. You're good friends anyway, and nothing will change."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm his mother. I better be sure."

Shana gave a hesitant smile, a try for the sweet giggles of when she was only ten years old. "It must be so weird, listening to me talk about my love problems with your son."

"Not really. I think it's kinda sweet. Better you talk to me about it then, oh say, Meru or someone."

Shana made a face. "I don't think I'll ever be _that_ desperate!" Another smile as she leaned back on the bed. "But she does have her grip on life, and she loves Guaraha."

"That she does. Listen, Shana, you have to talk to me or _someone_ about these thoughts when they come into your head. If this had happened during a battle, you'd be dead, and no one wants that. Talk to me, talk to Rose, talk to Meru, but talk to someone before you explode. Got it?"

"Yes."

Claire smiled at her and clambered off the bed, wincing as she banged her knee against a dresser before settling in a chair next to the bed. "I can't help you with wanting to stop, but you can take a long nap. I'll be here when you wake up and we can talk some more, okay?"

"Promise?" Her eyes were already closing, and for a brief instant, Claire could see a seven-year-old child with a contented smile.

"I promise. Good night." Half in a sleepy daze herself, she hummed her lullaby until they both asleep.

When Claire next woke, it was not to a good thing. The entire palace was shaking. 

"By the stars!" She leapt out of the chair and crumbled as her legs—cramped from being folded under her—failed. Cursing, she jumped to restore the blood flow and ran through the hallways, bare feet slapping against the cold marble floor.

"Shana!" Claire cursed as she almost lost her balance. The castle was shaking violently and something terrible roared outside. A crack ran up the wall and across the ceiling, splitting it into pieces that rained down like tiny meteors.

"Claire!" Sacred Sister Setie yanked her arm and pulled her into the safety of an untouched alcove. 

"What's going on?"

"I don't know! I was going to wake you up and the castle just started shaking!" Setie shrieked as a fragment of the ceiling scratched her arm. "The Queen is still in the throne room with Luanna!"

Claire cursed again, briefly wondering if it was a sin to curse in front of a Sacred Sister. "Where is Shana?"

"What?" It was hard to hear over the din of roaring and rumbling and screaming. To make matters worse, the crystals echoed the sounds just as loud and octaves higher. 

"_Where's Shana?_"

"I don't know!"

Claire burst out from the alcove, running as fast as she could to try and avoid the falling debris, failing. Part of a clock smashed into her shoulder, tearing open skin and flesh, dislocating the bone. A scream ripped its way out of her throat, hoarse and angry.

Magic filled the air. In addition to the falling debris, pieces on the floor were rising up and flinging themselves through the air, creating a tornado of lethal danger. What was doing this? Claire shimmied along the wall, batting away rocks that came too close for comfort.
    
    "Claire!" This voice was familiar, and it wasn't long before Shana came running into view. "Are you all right? I was looking all over for you. Oh, your shoulder!"

The blue light was around her again, stronger, seeming pulsate like a heartbeat. Shana was unmarked by any injuries; she looked as if she had just woken up. As Claire watched in awe, falling debris glanced off the girl's skin as if she was wearing armor. 

"Shana, what's going on? What's happening to you?"

Shana didn't even seem to realize the light around her until she looked down. "Oh." She said, and then shut her eyes.

A change overcame her. Something that made her stronger and more powerful, nothing noticeable, but the power she emanated was enough for the weakest drabbest human to sense. She was like a furnace radiating heat, but she didn't seem to be in control. Light burst from her mouth and ran as tears down her face. She reached out and grabbed Claire's arm.

The light was so strong that it took Claire a moment to convince herself that it didn't hurt. Shielding her eyes until they adjusted, she squinted to see in the star-like brightness. Shana was still next to her, arms flung wide, head tossed back, mouth open in a silent scream. The light was coming from her again, the same way it had worked against the giant snake and the Virage at the Valley. The blue-white shine was greatest in an outline around her. 

Shana! Claire's scream appeared as silence. She frowned; tried again, louder. Hmm. No wonder she couldn't hear Shana's screaming; it was void here. No sound existed because of the light.

But what _was_ that light?

Claire watched as the shield of light expanded like a wine stain. It was a hazy white-blue near Shana and deepened in blue as it went along farther from her. It crawled along the floor and walls and ceiling like a wave crashing. She froze when the light came to her, forced herself to stay still.

Oh. It felt like the barest tickle of water, like slowly submerging in a tub with barely a ripple. She had felt it only once before, when she managed to persuade Zieg to come swimming with her. But he had smuggled a book with him, and immediately began reading once upon the lake. No matter what, he could not be persuaded to enter the water—now Claire realized it was probably because of his Fire Dragoon—so Claire sat on the bank with him, tapping the surface with her feet, feeling it giving and relentless at the same time. 

The light washed over her with the same feeling. Suddenly her skin was patched up and the pain in her shoulder lessened greatly. 

Regaining her mind, she reached out to touch Shana lightly, to find that her skin was burning to the touch and that she wouldn't snap out of her trance. 

Huddling into herself, she watched the light spread and wash over things.

After a while the light rushed back to Shana and disappeared. Sound returned and so did full sight.

Shana slumped to the floor, weakly groaning. Her breath came fast and shallow, her heartbeat erratic. Her skin was still beyond fever-hot, but she was dampened with sweat. 

"What happened?" Luanna was feeling her way along the walls to them, but the palace had changed so much that she had better luck just blindly stumbling. 

"I don't know." Claire gathered Shana in her arms—stars, she was so light, so frail—and prepared to bring her to a relatively unscathed area when she realized something. There were little circles on the ground, untouched by anything, still clean as if the maids had just washed and waxed them. The stones, debris, and shattered crystals were in perfect rings around the circles.

"By Soa…how?" the queen was weeping.

The light…

Shana had been protecting them.

"Queen Theresa!" Setie burst in, nursing a number of scrapes and cuts, wincing. "Are you all right?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine. See to Luanna and Lady Shana. By Soa, look at the wreckage. The town's been destroyed… It will take much work to rebuild. The townspeople…send the guards to help them. We will do what we can. Send the injured to the medical wings and get all the maids and pages to help the villagers. Go, now."

Setie first checked Luanna for any injuries, and let out a cry of relief when she found her Sister safe. Claire, an only child, envied their close relationship.

"Lady Claire, come with me."

Claire carried Shana and followed the queen to a chamber with silken drapings. It was in better shape than most of the castle, but still not livable. Queen Theresa swept away the debris on the bed with her arm and gestured. Her dark lips were pressed together very tightly. 

"These are my quarters. She can rest here for the time being, but we need another course of action. Stay here with her. I need to see to my people."

Claire watched the entire city bustle with activity, feeling very lonely and immobile. 

She wondered how Dart and the others were doing. 

The Council was gathered in that chamber. Most of them had not had the chance to clean up; they were as filthy and dust-covered as Claire was. They paid her no attention, speaking instead to the Queen and Sacred Sisters on what they should do. Deningrad was no longer an option. The majority of houses had been destroyed. Only a few homes—out of sheer luck only—had remained relatively untouched.

"We can't stay here. The palace is ruined."

"But where can we stay? The people here have lost their homes. What can we do for them? We must leave."

"I am the Queen. I must stay with them."

"You must save yourself first. Deningrad is nothing now, but it shall surely fall apart without its Queen."

"Where can we go then?"

"Neet."

The Council turned to her, noticing the dark-haired slender woman for the first time. "What?"

"We can stay in Neet."

Senator Viscen was a tall whip of a man that was quick to denounce other people's ideas but slow to offer his own. However, he was very rational and a valuable member of the Council. "Neet was destroyed almost twenty years ago. There's nothing there anymore."

"I know that." Claire said, wiping sweat off Shana's brow. "But there are a few underground tunnels that we used to use as a holding cell. It remained intact after the Black Monster's attack. We can send some of the people there, some can remain in the houses here, and some to Fueno. Maybe even to the _Queen of Fury_. Temporary places to stay. I'm heading to Neet with Shana. I'll be glad to guide who I can."

There was much hesitation until Viscen mumbled a question.

Annoyed, Claire asked him to speak up.

"I said, do you think that is wise? Lady Shana could have been the cause of the attack, don't you think so?"

Claire thought back on singing to Shana as a girl, Shana handing her a bouquet of damp half-dead snapdragons, Shana learning tentatively to use her bow, Shana saving her from the Virage, Shana's white light and the pain it took away, Shana's talk about changing with the Dragoon Spirit, Shana's shields of protection that kept everyone safe.

"No." She said immediately. "I don't think so. At all."

"We owe our lives to Lady Shana. Her…gift protect us." Queen Theresa pointed to the several untouched circles of floor. The debris formed rings around them but none fell in. The light had formed shields of protection. "We owe her our lives."

"Lady Shana had nothing to do with the attack. This devastation was wrought neither by her command nor for her sake. It was revenge, pure and simple." Luanna reached around for Setie's hand. "I was stretching my mind during the attack. It was so dark and hateful. It was the Divine Dragon."

Blast it all, how did that thing awaken anyway?

"Enough. It will not help to debate this now. We will follow Lady Claire's advice. Call the guards. I will speak to the people about this. We shall split into four groups and head separate ways. Find four people who will be our messengers, strong and swift. Get everyone to pack their necessities. It is unsafe for us all to stay here." Queen Theresa spoke not only as a ruler, but like a commander heading her army. "Get to work now."

"Your Majesty." Claire said, watching Shana toss and turn. "I suggest that we hurry. Shana needs to settle somewhere soon. She's getting sicker by the moment. I think she's dying."


	23. Entry Seventeen: Pain in Neet

Diary ~ 

My respect for the queen has heightened since I watched how she took charge.

She led all the people into the town square and gave a speech that calmed them. But once she said that they needed to leave, the crowd exploded in anger. While the guards kept them back, Queen Theresa waited bravely while they tired themselves before calming them again. This time they remained so. The queen moved them quickly, quietly, and skillfully.

So now I am part of the group headed for Neet. 

A burly man with a kind smile carries Shana so that I can fight. Villagers have armed themselves with swords and pipes and bows and pots, whatever they could find and use. There are a number of capable fighters, and it would take some pretty stupid monsters to attack large groups such as this one, so our journey has been safe so far. There is no sign of the Dragon anywhere.

We have parted ways with the queen, Wink, and most of the Royal Guards and civilians at the road that led to Fueno and the _Queen of Fury_. The road turned craggy, complaints grew, and night fell. The wind is ice cold. Torches were lit for light and warmth but still people wailed.

"Soa, my _house_. I had mahogany furniture!"

"So did I. Shut up."

"It's cold here."

I keep massaging her temples, desperately trying to get relief. Good luck.

"I'm hungry."

"I hate this snow."

"My feet hurt."

"Miss Claire, I don't think she's getting any better." Lars, the man carrying Shana, always speaks so quietly that I have to lean in to hear.

Shana is still moaning and twisting violently, twisting like she was possessed. She is bathed in sweat. Poor girl, working herself so hard.

"She is worse than before. She needs to rest. This journey is too much for her." It is true. Shana has always been physically weak, and every disease, every cold she caught, weakened her further. My poor dear child…

"Why is it so dark?"

"I'm keeping her as steady as I can, ma'am."

"It's too cold."

"I know, Lars. It's not your fault."

"I'm hungry."

"I wish I had my library here."

"This is so awful. I'm tired and hungry."

"Shut up, the lot of you!" 

Silence. I suppose I shouldn't have screamed that loudly at them. I mean, none of them are speaking to me now, not really. I get cold stares a lot. But it was well past time that I said something.

"I know that it's dark and cold and that you're tired and hungry. I know that you've just been through a lot, but complaining about it won't help."

Then this stupid woman mutters, "What would you know? You're an outsider."

I am whirling on her with the same ferocity that I had shown bullies that pushed Dart. The fury of a wildcat provoked. I suppose the Rouge arts have given me a sort of arrogance I would not have found elsewhere. "Wrong. The Black Monster destroyed my home years ago, and we're heading there right now. This girl here, the one that saved our lives, is dying and she's like a daughter to me. Don't tell me that I know nothing about loss." I could feel uneasiness around me by then, so I softened my voice and told them something that I kept telling myself those last few years in Rouge. "I know things look really bad right now, but you still have your lives and with that, you can start over. Complaining about it doesn't help. It only slows us down and depresses us. Try to think up. Please. We have injured and we need to get to Neet as quickly and comfortably as possible."

So I have rattled off my big mouth and now none of them are talking to me. But we have quickened the pace and we will be at Neet soon. In the next few hours, I hope. I am not sure how much longer Shana can hold on.

Neet is in ruins.

I had expected nothing more or less, but it still broke my heart to see the charred houses, darkened skeletons of homes, the cozy feeling gone. I see where the blacksmith used to toil day and night, where the weaver worked on her beautiful cloaks, where Zieg and I lived. It was so painful. I bit my lower lip and lead them to the tunnels. It was cold and dank, but it was a place to stay.

Complaints began once again, but this time it was Luanna that eased them, speaking soothingly and sometimes singing. Lars was appointed to watch over Shana, and Setie worked with me as nurses. Shana would have done a better job, with her medical wisdom and knowledge, but she is among the worst injured. 

I had much trouble helping the villagers because they saw me as an outsider and do not appreciate my outburst in the woods. But I had been very patient, and after healing a few people, they came to love me. I am glad to help, but I cannot help the one who needs me most. I wonder if she is lost in herself. 

We have not lost any people, thank goodness, but many are still not doing well, Shana among them. 

Shana. That girl is going to give me a heart attack one of these days. The gray hairs on my head come from worrying about her and my son. Eesh. We put snow on her to lower her fever, and her breathing has slowed somewhat, but she is still not to be moved. 

My arm has started hurting again. It has been numb since we left Deningrad, but it comes back greater now, so I took a break and made myself a sling. It is cold but I need to do this. To sit here.

In front of Zieg's grave. 

It is an empty grave, I know. I could not find the body. Not surprising; the Black Monster's power destroys some completely. 

And as I sat there, praying for peace, crying, I hated Rose.

I hated in her a way words could not describe. 

I immediately regret it, feeling guilty. Rose has her reasons for killing. She felt the worse of us all. She told me so herself. 

"Have you ever lost anyone to the Black Monster?" __

"Yes. Someone very close to me."

Only now do I realize she was talking about herself.

I am so deeply absorbed in my thoughts, I do not realize Luanna settling next to me until she speaks.

"Thinking of the past?"

"Always. My husband died here."

"As did my mother."

We grieve in silence. Words are unnecessary. I understand her pain and she understands mine.

Zieg. I should have gone with you. I write that with my mind thinking, but then how would I have watched my son grow up, watched Shana grow up, have all these memories, met Lloyd, resolved things with Father? 

Bah. Forget it. It is impossible to question and 'what if' the past.

"Do you hate it? Do you hate the Black Monster?"

I thought of Rose when she asked that, though of Rose's sad, sad gray eyes, red mouth pursed in forced silence, the cuts on the inside of her forearms. No, she has suffered herself to live. "No, I don't." I had replied. 

Luanna nodded. "It is strange. Neither do I. I don't know why. Maybe I simply cannot hate."

"That's good."

I am useless. 

We were silent for a while before hearing footsteps. I had jumped up ready to defend the blind girl, but it was only Lars. He was out of breath and panicking. He told me I needed to come back.

Worried, I asked if it was Shana. 

"No, ma'am. It's Sister Setie."

Luanna screamed, reached for my hand. I took it and _flew_. The underground tunnels are colder than usual and we follow the yells to a crowd of people, which I quickly chase away before looking. Luanna screamed for me to tell her what happened. I knew I shouldn't have—I knew I would regret the look of despair and horror on her face—but I was shocked too, and responded like a robot.

"Setie is on the floor, lying on her back. She is in pain. There is blood around her. She's bleeding from her side. Oh, Setie, why didn't you _say_ anything?" I removed her cardigan and shirt to inspect the wound. It was deep and still bleeding. I remember seeing a rag there. She had tried to staunch the wound herself.

Such a brave little soul. 

"I didn't want to be trouble." She whispers. 

I did my best, I can swear that I did, but halfway through, she grabs my hand and shakes her head, pigtails moving over her shoulders to fall to the floor. "It won't help. I'm leaving. Where's Luanna?"

Luanna had been silent, her eyes a blank and faraway look that has nothing to do with blindness. She came over and took Setie's hand. The two Sacred Sisters exchanged whispered words and tears, and Luanna gives a sobbing laugh and started to sing.

I write this now and I can still hear her singing. It sounds like a hymn. It must have some history between the two. I know that Luanna was sent here after Neet. Perhaps she grew up with Setie. Gods. So much pain…

The singing has stopped. 

Luanna came back to say that Setie departed, then felt her way around a corner to sit and weep silently.

I've just finished the burial rituals, placing her body by the countless others that have died here.

Why am I so useless? I should have seen her limping on the way here, seen the hand that kept pressing to her side, the pain on her face. 

I know it is not my fault, but it does not help take away any of this misery.

It is like wherever I am, there is carnage and pain and strife.

Such is human nature.

Pain. 

What am I going to tell the other Sisters? The Queen?

Setie was so brave. She didn't want to inconvenience anyone else, so she kept her silence. She wanted me to help others, wanted to help others, and in that, gave her life. A true Sacred Sister, a kind soul that deserves rest. 

I wonder how many of those are out there?


	24. Entry Eighteen: Secrets

Diary ~ 

We've been in Neet for about two weeks now. Two weeks since Setie's death. Luanna has become very quiet. She sings more than she speaks. Her relationship with Setie had been very close, and this must hurt her greatly. Only being with her other sisters and the queen will she be able to begin to heal. I leave her as she is at the moment, worrying that I might make things worse.

The townspeople had hated me in the beginning, because I was an outsider and I was leading them harshly, but now that I have healed many of them and they have gotten to know me, they have begun to love me. It is a good feeling, one that I welcome under the circumstances. 

Shana has awaken from her coma, to my eternal relief. It was easier to convince her what happened this time, because she was conscious when her magic first began. I make her stay in bed though, nothing too strenuous other than to give advice to people about their injuries. She and Luanna sing to ease the pain of the people, little hymns or lullabies. Luanna has not sang that song that she sang in Setie's last moments. I think it may be something they composed together, and thus, private and closed off to the rest of us.

We are running low on supplies, and we have sent word to Fueno and the Queen to inform her, but in the meanwhile, I have created three different groups of hunters, to go into the forest and bring back food. I had wanted to be in one of them, but Shana, the roles reversed, had chided me, saying that my arm was still unpredictable, and that if I went, I might do more harm than good.

So I wait now at the borders of Neet, waiting for the hunters to return. My arm is out of its sling, though it still hurts like a dull ache. I am tired, writing because I am bored. Basically, the people have begun to settle. The injuries are stable, they do not complain as much, and we have reached some sort of balance with things. We won't live here forever, of course, just u

Whew, that scared the hell outta me for a while. Lloyd, Dart, and the others are back. I was writing and was interrupted by them, as you can tell. All of a sudden I hear a yell, and then arms are around me, pinning my hands at my sides, making me drop this diary. I knew it was Lloyd even before he started yelling.

"Why didn't you tell us what you were going to do? Deningrad is completely destroyed and we thought you and Shana along with it! Nobody in the entire blasted town knew what happened to you or to most of the others! We wandered around for days before Dart realized that maybe you'd be here! You should have told the villagers to inform us!"

He was crushing me against him with such force that it only enhanced the pain in my arm. "Lloyd, as lovely as it is to see you again, you're hurting me. My arm…"

He pulled back then, and a pain struck my chest. I had forgotten how beautiful he was. I know that I still have most of my beauty from my younger years, but it is strange when he is lovelier than I am. The journey and the new worries that came along with it have brought the beginnings of gray to my hair, along with lines at my mouth from all the screaming and crying I have done. Yet still he looks upon me with wonder and fondness. I am ever so grateful. Setna vaharu indeed. 

We have not said that since that night on the Wingly Forest roof, nor shown any large amounts of tenderness. Occasionally we will embrace, I'll give him a kiss, or he'll just hold me, but I don't know, something about it seems off. Oh well…even if no affection is shown, he makes my blood sing in my veins, passion rise, something that Zieg never did. I do not doubt the love I had for Zieg, but it was more a content working-together. He never made me feel the way Lloyd makes me feel.

Bah, getting off topic. After he pulled away, Dart came up. "Mom, what happened?"

"Do you have the Dragon Block Staff?"

He held up something that looks like a lump of wood and metal, unceremoniously crafted. "We got it."

"Good. We'll need it. We were in Deningrad for a while, but then the Divine Dragon attacked. It did much more damage that last time; it destroyed the entire town. The Crystal Palace shattered." I looked over his shoulder at Sacred Sister Miranda. She listened to my words with narrowed eyes and unconcealed hope. "Lives were lost, that I must say. But Shana did her magic thing again. She managed to save the people in the castle and then some. The light…it was like a shield of protection."

I continued to tell them what had happened, describing the shield and how it worked, about how Shana passed out afterwards and the Council discussed what to do. I told them how we split into four groups, heading in different directions, about how the Queen had already commissioned architects and builders to bring Deningrad back to its beauty. For the moment we would have to stay as we were. I saw Miranda's eyes soften when I told her that Luanna was safe, and was loathe to tell her about Setie.

But she asked, and I told her. Her gray eyes hazed over in pain and she gripped a rusty lamppost for balance, swaying. Meru cried out and went to help her. Miranda did not like that, but did not pull away.

"I'm sorry." I told her, knowing more than anyone just how worthless those words are. 

She had one hand on the lamppost and the other in a fist. Her head was bowed to her chest and her eyes were squeezed shut in pain. She steeled herself, growling and whimpering. Finally she looked up. "What of Her Majesty? Is Queen Theresa all right?" The expression on her face almost made me cry. She must love Theresa so much. It was an expression that made me think that even if the queen had been injured, I would have lied to ease Miranda. 

"Last time I spoke to her, yes. She took a large amount of guards with her and the forest is not so dangerous. She is currently residing in Fueno. I have sent a messenger to her anyway, to request more supplies. You'll have word in a couple of days."

Miranda nodded. "Good work. Where are the people?"

I pointed out the pathway, and she left. 

"Shana's all right, Dart. She fainted from the magic, and she doing badly for a while, but she's recovered nicely. She's still a little weak, but she'll be fine in a few days. She's helping Luanna with healing the people. Go to her." 

My son ran off, and I asked to speak with Meru. "What happened? Did things go well?"

She grimaced, covered it with a grin. "Sure! I wasn't really all that welcome in the beginning, but we got the Staff, right? We have to kick the Divine Dragon's butt for what he did to the people of Deningrad!" 

Now we're resting around a warm campfire, the ten of us. Father and Albert are chatting about something, but mostly it is silent. I have a bit of a headache. We're supposed to be talking about strategy. What are we going to do? We have decided that we are going to stop at Fueno to see the Queen and ask her opinion. We'll fill up supplies, then go to face the Divine Dragon. Lloyd's squirming for some reason. I think he has something to tell us. I'll ask, and write later.

Okay, it is now hour later. I was right. Lloyd had a LOT to tell us. I rested my shoulder against his first, asking him, "What's wrong? You look like you're going to be ill." 

He shook his head. "I'm not going to be ill. But there's something that you should probably know. All of you."

So I called the attention of everyone. They listened. 

"I was your enemy when we first met, we all know that. But you let me join the team, and I'm glad. But no one asked me what happened before, what I was doing, who I was working for. I was working for Emperor Diaz." That's right of course. But in the excitement of everything we had forgotten. "I don't know how Emperor Diaz, and I really didn't care. I wanted to achieve my dreams of a utopia, and he agreed to help me, because 'we have common goals', he told me. I haven't spoken to him in a while, not since joining this team. I like to think that they're two different lives. One serving someone, carrying out a dream by deadly manners, the other one fighting for justice, with Claire." He conveniently ignored Father's low growl of warning. 

"That's not all. He told me to get Shana, which is why I ordered Doel to attack Seles and get her. I was the middleman, conveying orders. I don't know why Diaz wanted Shana, but he said that she was necessary to help. We would ask for her help, not demand it, he told me. She would be safe. But Shana escaped from the prison.

"No matter, Diaz told me. There was still time. Now he sent me to get the Divine Moon Objects. I was to bring them to him, he said, and then he could help me. I have the Moon Gem, Claire has the Moon Dagger, and I know that Queen Theresa has the Moon Mirror. We need to get it from her, with her permission, of course. I think that we have to confront Diaz, to ask him why he wants the Objects and Shana. How are they linked together?"

How? I don't understand. One is living, the others aren't. They're both powerful magically, but that's about it. I don't understand it. My head hurts.

There was silence immediately afterwards. I knew Dart was resentful that Lloyd had not told us this before. When I asked Lloyd, he said it was because he was afraid of what reaction he would get. We might not believe him. Which is basically what happened. Even I have to admit, it sounded like a trap. If Lloyd had only been feigning friendship, this would be an easy way for him to lead us into a trap.

It was only a short while before everyone conquered the fear though. "All right. That's information we would have liked to have a while ago, but thank you for telling us." Dart said. Still resentful, I can always tell with my son. "I know what everyone is thinking, but I trust Lloyd, and not only because my mother does. He's been with us too long. If he wanted to trick us, he had plenty of time to. We may not all be friends here, but we're going to need to be to survive. Trust is important here. Tomorrow, we head to Fueno, to talk to the Queen, then we confront the Dragon. Afterwards, Lloyd can lead us to Diaz. Maybe then we can find the answers that we need."

I certainly hope so. This journey is eternal, one thing leading to another. What have we done so far? Uncovered the truth of the war in Serdio and unraveled it, ended the curse of Tiberoa's king, saved people from a water dragon, stopped bandits from taking over… Each even brought on the next one through things that seemed unlinked, yet it never brought us to the purpose of our journey itself: to find out why Shana was kidnapped from Seles.

Shana is resting now, leaning against Dart, who has an arm around her, much the same fashion of me and Lloyd right now. It's comforting, warmth in the cold. 

Lloyd asked me of my life here in Neet, and I told him, quietly. It was strange, to tell him of my husband, but when I was finished, he kissed my forehead and held me. I'm glad for this journey if only for the chance to meet him. But I'm still worried, even now in this brief period of peaceful balance.

Something tells me that things are going to happen soon.


	25. Entry Nineteen: The Choice of a Dragoon

Diary ~ 

Gods above, it is cold here.

We went to go see the Queen Theresa first, like Dart said to, and Shana, Meru, and I all nearly lost fingers in the cold. Father said it was perhaps because we were women and weaker than men. I suppose that makes sense, seeing as how Rose was the only woman who didn't freeze her butt off. 

I had gone completely numb by the time we reached Fueno, and I nearly leapt into the fire that the mayor built for us, entirely forgetting how much it hurt to defrost so quickly. So by the time we actually went to go see Queen Theresa, I was a shivering mass of chatters. 

Miranda went in first, speaking in hushed tones to the Queen and to Wink, about Setie. Wink screamed and fled to the back room. Theresa sat down hard in a chair and shook her head. "And Luanna?" She asked quietly, clasping Miranda's hand tightly.

"Staying in Neet for the time being, trying to help the villagers adjust." 

Dart spoke up then, a little awkwardly. "I think that you now understand the sheer power and destructive nature of the Divine Dragon. It has to be imprisoned again, now."

"It cannot be imprisoned." Rose interrupted him harshly. "None of us holds enough magical power to restrain and control the King of all Dragons. We will have to kill him." There was a little whimper from Meru, but Rose continued, "With the Dragon Block Staff, we can cancel out its power. Then, us warriors will do the rest, weakening him until Lloyd can kill him with the Dragon Buster." 

It sounds like a good plan, it makes sense and all. But just how difficult would a fight with the Divine Dragon be? I had been there when it did what it did to Deningrad and I'm a little scared. I had been there when it tore apart the Crystal Palace and Deningrad. I had felt its awful power. It seemed the toughest and strongest of all the enemies we would have fought. But we must help Mille Seseau, and this is the only way how, so I must steel myself and ready for the journey.

The Queen offered to send her guards and knights with us, but we told her it was unnecessary. With the Dragoons here, they would mostly get in the way, especially since they had no experience with the Dragon. However, we did take along one of Miranda's friends, Deleoh, as a guide. He claims that he knows the safest path to the mountain and back, and it seems right, because we are fighting less monsters than we should. 

Theresa also insisted on giving us food and supplies, and we are now a day's journey away from the mountain. The guide tells us that it is called the Dying Dragon's Mountain, but from the sounds of the roaring and screaming coming from it, I would think that the Dragon is anything but dying. We've stopped for a rest now, and I'm writing this while eating. Miranda's being oddly quiet and subdued. I hope she's okay.

Ow. In pain. Ouch.

The rumbling has finally subsided, but we're staying here on the mountain just to make sure there's no side effects or baby dragons or anything.

It was shaking when we came here too, the mountain throwing rocks at us. The Dragon awaited us at the top, and at first it was hidden in an underground cave, but Shana, for some reason, found him. Her psychic powers seemed to be stronger. She navigated the paths easily, finding the shortest and easiest route. 

We ambushed him, surprisingly. Dart, Albert, Rose, and Kongol—the blade users—surprised it by stabbing it in the side and jumping back before it turned. After its claws came down at nothing but air, Father, me, and Meru took on its chest, pushing it back. Lloyd, waiting behind our two female archers, tossed the Dragon Block Staff into the air. It did something fancy, then a white light washed over the mountain.

The Dragon screamed, but so did the Dragoons. We hadn't known that would happen. All of the Dragoon fell to the floor clutching their heads and howling like the devil incarnate, even Rose, maybe her most of all. I wanted to check on them, but Dart was yelling at me to attack the Dragon while it was down. Shana and Lloyd joined me, both being unaffected by the anti-dragon magic. 

Sure, we managed to injure the Dragon, but not enough. It regained its bearings again, nearly trampling me in the process. The Dragoons clambered to their feet and the battle was met. 

I don't understand how our plan could have gone so wrong. We had surprised and ambushed the Dragon, yet it still met us strike for strike, injuring us more than we did it. I had hit my head on a cliff face, and dazed, my sight had been blinded for a while, something that every fighter feared. 

Meru pushed me out of the way, fast, as one of the Dragon's claws were coming down. I saw her, screamed. At the last possible second, she transformed. She had just enough energy to transform for a short while, I guess. Her Dragoon armor and heightened strength was all that saved her life. As soon as the claws rebounded off her silver armor, she faded back into her Wingly form, and I dragged her to the side. Now we were one short, and the Dragon was still there. 

Then Deleoh, who had been hiding behind a rock all the battle, was suddenly thrown from his spot by a lash of the Dragon's tail. Smelling fresh weak meat, the Divine Dragon aimed for him.

Miranda _leapt_ onto the Dragon, landing on its neck, stabbing it with one of her arrows. Crazy, barking mad, I tell you. When the arrow broke, she began pummeling it with her hands. The rest of us were so shocked that we just watched as the Dragon reared and screamed, and Miranda was screaming along with it, though her yells had words, and none I would care to repeat. 

The Dragon finally slung her off though, and she landed with a broken leg and a mouthful of curses. Taking Shana's hand, she dragged herself further back, playing her role as archer. 

Hurting badly and almost hopeless, we still managed to pull through. Lloyd, his speed and swiftness being his best asset in this battle, ducked in and out of the spaces to stab at the Dragon, then pulling back to heal us. But he wasn't fast enough; the Dragon knocked him aside. He just barely avoided smashing into the rock face by flying and skidding to a stop.

By sheer luck and chance alone, Dart found the weak spot. "Lloyd! Aim for its eye!" 

"It has seven of them, which one?"

"The largest one!"

But the Dragon had swatted Lloyd again like a fly and he dropped with a grunt. Abandoning my combo and letting Father take my place, I ran to him, checking for injuries. He was fine, but it was not like the Dragon to leave a wounded prey alone, and it ignored Father and stalked toward us with footsteps that shook the mountain and perhaps all of Mille Seseau. 

I don't know how I did it, but I did it again. I grabbed the Dragon Buster from the ground and Called on the blade again. Fire burned my arm and snaked down to the hilt. I was unused to a sword, but I had seen Dart learning from his swordsmaster, and knew enough how to hold my weight, and tilt the sword up, impaling the Dragon's foot with it. 

It pulled back, nearly trampling Meru's unconscious body. The rest of them, moving as one, cut out its other front leg, felling it just in front of me. The giant eye blinked maliciously, nearly freezing the marrow in my bones. 

I probably should have given it back to Lloyd, let him kill it, he wouldn't have made such a mess. But I was just so scared, and I thought Lloyd was unconscious and everyone was screaming and I didn't know what to do and I just _stabbed_. 

Like a basic hammer fist I brought down the sword and shoved it into the biggest eye. 

The Divine Dragon stumbled around, howling and screeching. "Move!" Dart yelled, and all of them dissipated, Albert grabbing Meru's body and flying the both of them to a safe rock cliff. Father and Lloyd pulled my arm, yanked me out of the way before the Dragon's head landed where I was standing. 

"By all the gods…" Dart breathed, crawling over to me on hands and knees amidst the silver blood of the Dragon that splattered the ground and my black fighting uniform. The blood was like the raindrops that roll off a duck's feathers; they easily came off with a flick of my fingers and shimmered on the ground. 

Everyone was basically okay, scraped and battered and bruised, but for the whole okay. Miranda broke her leg, my left arm is hurting again, and Father has a gash on his shoulder. Meru has a shattered rib, I think, and Shana's casting her special magic trying to help her with that. It is like she has almost doubled her psychic powers on this mountain. I can feel something strange about this mountain too, I'm not sure exactly what…it's like a presence in my mind, a piece of a puzzle that I haven't even realized was there yet. Mine is an inactive power, but Shana is using this opportunity to play with her magic a little, casting stronger and stronger healing spells to see what is her limit.

Lloyd was furious with me for having used the Dragon Buster. He says I should have let him kill the Dragon, that it was he that wielded the flame-sword of the Winglies. I told him that I had used it before to deflect Lenus's attack, and that I was perfectly fine, but then he just shook his head. 

"You used it to defend yourself the first time, nothing big. This time you used it to kill a being, a very strong one. The Dragon Buster is not a regular blade or sword, Claire. It holds an extreme magical power that takes a great amount of control to hold back and influence."

"What?"

"The Dragon Buster does not just stab the enemy." Rose said, tying a bandage around a deep cut in her forearm. "It uses the wielder's power as its essence. You have a strange life essence because of your presence during the Moon Child's journey. Perhaps that is why you are able to Call the blade. But the Dragon Buster took your energy to be Called, to be formed, and to be wielded. It killed the Divine Dragon, and then it took its energy. The massive energy of the Divine Dragon surged through the Dragon Buster to you."

"Taking the life of something as powerful as the Divine Dragon could have caused a magical backlash capable of killing you." Lowering his voice, Lloyd said to me, "I have been living for a long time. I know how to use the sword. You don't. You could have been killed."

I don't quite understand what they mean by the entire thing, but if they say the Dragon Buster can kill me, that I'm keeping my hands off. 

Our talk seemed to have reanimated Miranda. She dragged herself using nothing but her hips and her arms over to the Dragon, poking it harshly with a forefinger. The inquisitive poking became an annoyed punch and then an insistent pounding on the corpse. "You bastard!" She screamed. "You killed my sister!" We let her vent her rage for a while, punching and hitting the Divine Dragon's body, until she tried kicking it with her good leg and howled in pain anyway, at which point Shana then helped her relax. 

But her kick seemed to have dislodged something in the huge corpse. It shuddered once, scaring us all, then from where the stab wound to its eye was, something was puked up. A silver light flew into the air and burst like a firework, dimming the red glow of the volcano and bringing sharp pain to our eyes. 

It faded and condensed itself into an all-too-familiar Dragoon Spirit, a silver-gray stone like galena floating on a chain. It hovered in the air and then flung itself at me.

Me! It circled my head once, and I had a feeling that if it were a person it would be tilting its head. For some reason, I thought that might be possible to see that if I touched it, and lifted a hand to do so. 

It was like the world exploded, every single splash of color narrowing and becoming a dagger that stabbed into my eyes. Briefly I felt myself falling and everything swirled like a giant headache. The white darkened to silver then black. It was a sort of pleasurable pain, like finishing stretches early in the morning. 

There was someone that stood in front of me, a girl, slight of figure, clothed in what looked like tree bark. Light danced along her arms and legs. Her eyes were the darkest that I had ever seen, and seemed to crackle through with lightning and thunder. A wind swirled around her slender limbs and brushed back her hair, which seemed to be made of flame. She stood on a tiny geyser that randomly propelled her higher and lower. 

She was small and girlish, but then when she spoke my estimate of her age shot up by centuries at least. "Do you know who I am, Clarina?" 

Nobody knew my full name except for Father and he hadn't called me it in so long I think he himself might have forgotten. I looked at the girl even though she was hard to focus on, and then it hit me. Maybe Rose is right and I do have some sort of gift of "realizing."

"You're the spirit that controls the elements."

"Close. I am the spirit of the Divine Dragon. The Original that used to wield it."

"But you are a human."

"I am a faerie, thank you very much." She dropped her act of ethereal mystery and put her hands on her hips. "I am one of the earlier races, and I held the power of the Divine Dragon. The Spirit chose you, and you will have to accept the power."

"Whoa. Wait." I didn't want to accept the power without knowing what would happen when I did so, and I'm sure that everyone would understand that. I saw the differences in the Dragoons, how Shana had seemed to grow up after she got her Dragoon Spirit. She seemed so different from the little girl that I knew and had watched change from a child into a young woman, and the same went for every single one of the Dragoons. It changed them, made them more powerful and wiser, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that.

"It's all right." The strange "faerie" girl did tilt her head and motioned me closer to her. "I will show you what it is you will be accepting, and it is you who will make the final judgment."

I had no idea where the hell I was, and there seemed to be no harm just walking a few steps closer to her, so I did it. She took my head between her hands, and the light that had been washing over her arms moved through my hair from the roots to the ends, then down my entire body until the cuts seemed to disappear and I felt cleaner, softer, as if I had already soaked in a hot tub. 

She kissed my forehead, and the light spread from there, hotter than flame and faster than wind. The elements danced and reveled in this world at their strongest. Everything about the elements, all the knowledge and power of the world, flooded into my mind so strongly that I screamed. I struggled to get away but she merely held me tighter, yelling.

It was too much, diary, it really was. The power and knowledge and strength of all the universe would have appealed to most, but not me. I didn't want all that. The sheer wisdom that poured into my brain nearly killed me. It was too much to deal with. I knew that I did not want it, and I fought her off. 

"Wait. Tell me one thing: where is this?" 

"This is the Realm of the Divine Dragon, a pocket dimension that I created, originally to keep myself isolated when I wanted to be alone, but eventually it grew to have more uses." She smiled. "You've had a small taste of what it could be like to become the Divine Dragoon, the most powerful of all Dragons, the ruler of them all. What do you choose? It is many a mortal's dream…" 

I don't know how long I stood there looking around. The blackness seemed to shift every time I looked at it, becoming something different, sometimes a person, sometimes an environment, sometimes an animal or plant. It was amazing and beautiful and too out of my world.

"I don't want the power of your Divine Dragon. I choose to stay human."

The faerie girl stared at me for a long time, head tilting again. After a long while of silence, she spoke, her voice considerably softer and younger. "Very well, Clarina. The decision is yours. The Dragoon Spirit shall go to the second best candidate, though he would never reach the potential you could have." She touched the tip of her finger to my temple and the white light washed over me again.

When I regained consciousness, the rest of the group was leaning over me, watching anxiously, so I gather I could not have been out for more than a few minutes. 

"Mom? Mom, are you all right?"

The Dragoon Spirit was now hovering in the air again. This time it floated to Lloyd, who was more hesitant than I to touch it, and fell in much the same way.

"Leave him." I told the others when they went to him. "He will be fine in a few moments." And I was right because he came back to us after a couple of minutes, and the Dragoon Spirit latched itself around his neck. 

I guess he accepted. 

I honestly don't know whether or not it really happened, the whole thing with the faerie girl. I haven't asked the other Dragoons what happened when they accepted their powerstones, nor have I spoken with Lloyd yet. The faerie girl could have been my imagination. I don't know. I did feel cleaner and my cuts were healed—though not the soreness—but it just seemed too weird. 

Deleoh is quite traumatized by what happened, and I myself just want to take a long nap. We're on our way back to Theresa to claim the Moon Mirror as reward and complete our mission. Anything else that happens from here to there, we'll just have to wing it. Unsuspectingly, the faerie girl already triggered an idea in my mind. I can't tell you exactly what it is, because I don't know either, but it's there and it's _big_, whatever it is. When the time comes and we need it, I'm sure it will come in handy.

But for now, a nap.


	26. Entry Twenty: Past and Future

Diary ~ 

Theresa had warned us of the magic of the Moon Mirror: beware of its illusions, she had whispered, handing us the bundle of cloth that wrapped the Mirror. We should have listened to her.

They say that curiosity is the vice of humankind and I guess they're right. We wanted to know what the Mirror was like, and we unwrapped it. I held it first. It was carved of what looked like white gold and platinum, the rim dotted with semi-precious stones. An aura of light surrounded it. When I looked into it, I saw my own reflection—for a moment. Then the Mirror went milky-white, and I saw myself again.

The second time I was younger, more beautiful, almost ethereal. Gone were the wrinkles around my eyes, gone was the few strands of white among the black. My hair was longer and I was sitting cross-legged on thin air, a giant tome in my lap. My eyes were hazy and full of knowledge. 

After a moment of confusion, I suddenly understood and yearned. I yearned desperately to be this woman, a beautiful young matron of knowledge, untouched by time, holding all the wisdom of the world in her hands. I wanted to know the answers, to tap into the "gift" Rose claimed I had.

The Mirror was taken from me and the want lessened but did not fade. Albert, in his curiosity, had snatched the Mirror from me and looked in. "Whoa! I…I see myself sitting on my throne, and Emille beside me. My father and uncle are alive, and getting along. It's a miracle." 

When the Mirror was taken from him, he suddenly reddened and ducked his head sheepishly. "Sorry."

Miranda looked in next. "I see my mother." She said simply. 

Meru grabbed the Moon Mirror and flew to a rock to peer at it. "Oh my gosh! I see myself! Oh cool, I'm wearing this awesome outfit, and I'm the belle of a _Wingly_ ball! It's a dream come true!"

Rose somersaulted from her tree branch and took it. She did not say what was in there, but her gray eyes opened wide and her lips parted in a gasp. I did not need to ask to know what—or who—she saw. She clenched the Mirror tightly, her knuckles white, the bones protruding.

We all knew that it would by folly to interrupt her, but Lloyd glanced over Rose's shoulder, saw his own 'dream come true' and stole it. I only saw his rapturous look for a moment before Rose snapped out of her daze and snarling, lunged at him. 

"Give me back the Mirror!" She screamed, a hell-fury of rage and claws.

Lloyd howled in pain and anger, and a fight broke out.

I had never been hit by either of them before, but as I watched, I soon realized this was a battle of immortals. Each missed punch left a crater where it struck. The colorful spheres demolished trees and rocks. My head still hurts from the pain of feeling the magic.

Finally, Dart hauled Rose away. I gathered enough sense to grab Lloyd by the arms and pull him back too.

"What the hell is going on with you two?" 

Lloyd struggled _hard_, dragging me forward a few steps before I braced my feet with all the strength I had and tossed him to the ground, face-down. When he tried getting up again, I sat on his back. "Stay still!"

"I have to see the Mirror!" The pain in his voice was almost enough to make me rise and give it to him. But I remembered the desire that flooded my own mind when I saw my dream and shook my head. 

"Lloyd, it's nothing but an illusion. The utopia you see in there is not real. It is what you _want_ but it doesn't exist yet. The only way you can make it real is if you work for it here and now, not in a world where it's already done for you. Calm down. You're being tricked. The power of the Moon Mirror is illusion." I pinned down his head to keep him from thrashing, but my fingers were gentle, trying to calm him, stroking his silvery hair. 

"But…" He releases all his breath and goes limp. "You're right." The fight drained out of him, I help him to his feet and let him rest against me.

Rose was pressing her fist against her mouth, ignoring the hand Dart placed on her back. Her shoulders were shaking and her face was turned away from all of us. I think she might have been crying, because she threw off Dart's hand and stalked into the trees. A few moments later we heard her scream. 

A horrible scream that tore through the skies and echoed around the rock cliffs and woods. It was the scream of a wounded animal. The scream of a woman who had seen a fantasy so close to her and then had it ripped away when she was forced back to reality. The scream of our Rose. 

I am closer to Rose than anyone here. I know things about her that the others do not. But there is definitely more that she is not telling me, secrets that she hides even from herself. She is a mystery layered upon another mystery. I would go to her and talk if I thought it would do any good. If she does not trust enough, she will always be alone. There is no worse fate I can think of.

"Whoa." Meru rubbed her hands along her arms. "Scary."

"We never thought she _could_ do that." Father said. I know that he has a particular fondness for Rose. Perhaps because she looks like me years ago, resembling the time when he could have changed the years of pain his daughter suffered. Or maybe it is because he can feel her ageless pain and sympathizes with it. 

"Should we…should we go look for her?" Shana ventured. 

"No. Leave her alone. She'll come back when she's ready." Dart glanced at the Mirror where it lay on the ground. "That's going to be a problem." He picked up the cloth that originally wrapped it, and keeping his eyes carefully averted, bundled the Moon Mirror tight. "Mom, you wanna keep holding it? You've already got one Object."

I looked at the bundle and felt the call of it, the power that drew me to it and remembered the reflection of a matron of time and knowledge. I shook my head hard. "No. Don't give it to me. I'll just look into it again. It Calls me even now, with the same power I feel in the Dragon Buster."

"That's weird." Meru piped up. "It's not _that_ bad. I kinda wish I could look into it again. But it's not that powerful."

I saw the innocence in her blood-colored eyes and the smile, then the pain in the same blood-colored eyes of Lloyd. I remembered Rose's scream and the haunting in her eyes. "I think…I think the Mirror works on age. I looked into it and I felt the call of it, and I want it back, badly. But Lloyd and Rose are older, and they felt the call stronger, much stronger." I remembered that Lloyd's real age wasn't known to all, so I purposely left that abstract. Still, I caught the flash of suspicion in Dart's eyes and quickly kept talking. "I'm sure that if Father looked into the Mirror, he would feel the call stronger than I did. Meru is the youngest, so she felt the call least." 

Dart glanced back down at the bundle in his hands. "So we should let Meru carry it?"

"No." Lloyd's voice was hoarse. The arm he had around me was tight. "She's already looked into it once. It will call her. Give it to Shana."

"What?"

Shana shrugged. "I don't feel it calling me at all. It's just a Mirror in my mind. Maybe it's because of the weird powers I have. Let me hold it for a moment." Dart placed the bundle in her arms and she paused. "Nothing. I don't feel its power. I can carry it."

She is still holding it now, carrying it close to her. I still feel like looking into it, but I know that to do that I have to go through Shana, something I don't want to do. I wonder if she really doesn't feel its power? She is not human, true, but…the magic in the world is usually tied in with the Moon in some way or other, and her magic must be tied with the same powers as the Objects. But…

I am thinking too much. Paranoia does not become me, I know. I need to get back to civilization somewhere. I need linen and lavender candles again. That royal treatment in Fletz has spoiled me. Gods, I can still feel the pull of the Mirror. I have to turn my back. If it is this strong for me, what about for Rose and Lloyd? I should go check on them.

Rose is being…guarded—I don't like that word—by Dart and Father. They don't mention the scream. They are talking to her, telling her things, to keep her mind off the Mirror. She is nodding and responding, but she seems despondent. The Call of the Mirror should fade with time. All they have to do is distract her until then. But Lloyd…Lloyd has only me. 

I went to him where he lay next to the fire. He was curled tight with his back to the fire, shaking, not from the cold. I touched his shoulder and he sat up, the distress in his eyes uncloaked. I held him close and he let me. "It's not real, Lloyd. It's just an illusion. You have to realize that."

"I know…but it felt so_ real_, Claire! I could feel the…cleanness of it. The purity. No wars, no hate. Just the utopia, the perfect world, and it was real. Everyone was happy. No one fought each other. And I did it. I had completed my dreams and I was there. It was _real_." 

Oh how it must haunt him! I know how much his dream means to him, and for him to have that one glimpse of it… I loosened one of my arms and made him look at me. When he took his face away from my shoulder and watched, I stuck my hand at the fire. It burned, of course, and he cried out in surprise, pulling my hand back. Surprise was evident in his eyes, breaking the trance. 

"Do you see, Lloyd?" I held my burned hand to him. It was a very faint burn, not enough to raise definite blisters, but it was red and painful anyway. At least I had thought ahead enough to use my left hand, so my writing hand is still perfectly fine. "_This_ is real, Lloyd! Pain and suffering here. And it's awful, but it's the truth. Your utopia…it's an admirable goal, and who knows? Maybe someday you _will _be able to achieve it. But not if you just sit here and pine over it. What you saw was an illusion. Get it through your thick head." I put my hand on his cheek, watching him flinch at the heat that radiated from it. "You are in reality. You might be able to alter it but first you have to accept it."

He stared into my eyes for a long time. I felt self-conscious for a while there, under his scrutinizing blood gaze, but I held it. Diary, I can't describe it. His eyes held everything about him. His pain, his suffering, his age. I would never fully understand it, but I could be there for him. 

"You're right." He finally sighed, and I smiled. I don't understand why he puts such faith and love in me. He is surely good-looking enough to find anyone, but he places everything he has in this woman here. I don't understand it, but I'm glad he does. I need something to anchor me to reality, and the same went for him. If I could be his link to this reality, then that was fine. Anything to keep him from getting lost in himself. 

"What's being the Divine Dragoon like?" I asked him.

"You should know. It chose you first."

"I didn't like it. It was too much power. I'm a quaint woman."

He held me close to him, each of us the anchor for the other, and I tucked my head into the curve of his neck. "It's sort of like after a workout and a bath, when you feel refreshed and powerful. A little painful, but powerful. I can't explain it, but it's…amazing."

My curiosity satisfied, we just sat there. Everyone else disappeared. My mind barely registered the other members of our group scattered around our campsite. My heart lurched and thumped when I stayed with him. I don't remember ever feeling this way. If this is love, then…then I did not love Zieg…

The revelation is a little frightening.

Anyhow, I kissed him. Despite his age, he seemed shy with our relationship. It was only the second time we had kissed, and while it made my heart beat wildly, it was cut short by a very loud and _deliberate_ sneeze by Father, who had ditched talking to Rose to keep an eye on us. The message received, we quickly parted. 

I will never understand Lloyd, but I will be there for him. It is a promise I intend to keep. He fell for "Emperor Diaz's" lies because he wanted so desperately to have something to believe in. He needed something to hold on to. I have promised him that I will be the harbinger of Truth and wash away the lies that he was fed, or at least try. He smiled, and it was all worth it. 

The Wingly part of the problem settled, I then needed to speak with the female Dragoon part. I walked over to Dart, and when he looked up, I bluntly pointed at the sleeping bags, and he left. What fun it is to wield the power of Motherhood. 

"Hello." I said to Rose. 

"Hey." Still gloomier than her usual self, she is lying on her stomach, one hand cupping her chin. The fingers of that hand are curled into her cheek, the nails digging in. I am not sure if it is deliberate, but I pull them away anyway. 

"Don't. Your complexion looks like it bruises easily." I sat next to her. "I know mine does, and we look alike, though I flatter myself. You know," I continued when she didn't talk. It's a little scary when she does that. She rarely does so with me, so I kept talking to fill the silence. "We're a lot alike. We're part of the same timeline. But which one we are, I do not know. You are older and hold the Past, but you will also be the Future. I have no doubt that you are a survivor. Me? I came after you, but I have long since been Past my time."

She looked at me with a cynical glance. "_What_ are you talking about?"

"I know you saw him, Rose. You were his Past. I was his Future. And yet…I believe that you loved—love—him more than I did and do."

"You have Lloyd now." She pointed out, almost bitterly.

"That's true. But I don't think that's the reason. You went through Heaven and Hell with Zieg. I think…I think I was his replacement for you. What he was really looking for when he somehow survived that one-on-one with Melbu Frahma was you. He must have thought you lost. When he met me, I reminded him of you. Perhaps that is why he and I fell in love. He was outside of Rouge, giving me stories and excitement and courage enough to leave. But I think I gave him the greater gift, the gift of letting him transform his past. He lived halfway in an illusion, thinking I was you. That's why he was so unresponsive to me."

"You have a son." Rose said, blunt as usual.

"Thank you, I am quite aware of that fact, but you're not thinking deeply enough. That's why you seemed familiar when I first met you. Not just because we looked alike. I remembered your name. He said the name Rose once in a while. Idly. The first time was when I brought him tea while he was studying. I had startled him from his books and he looked up at me and said, 'Thanks, Rose.' I thought it an endearment, did you know that? It happened once in a while when he wasn't thinking fully. Sometimes he would call me that when he was off in his own world, sometimes when he was happy, and sometimes…" It was difficult to say it out loud. "Um, yeah, when we made love."

A smile broke out over Rose's face and she swallowed a laugh so that I came out as a sort of hiccup. "Really?"

"I lie to you not. I honestly did think it was an endearment. I never knew he was actually thinking about someone else. Now that I know, it's a little…disconcerting to say the least. I never knew I was just a replacement. But we had some good times, and I _did _love him, do not doubt that. And I bore a great son out of it. But his love for you never faded, and today's little incident proved that yours hasn't either."

Rose was very, very quiet when she said, "A long time ago, we promised that our love would never fade. We would always be together even if one of us died."

"And both of you kept your promise. He loved me, I am sure, but he never stopped loving you. I am not even sure if he could tell me and you apart. We were the same person in his mind. He was lost in his own illusion, trapped because of it. Don't let the same thing happen to you. You're here, Rose, and I don't have to lecture you about reality because of what you've been through. Just remember that. Your love isn't a weakness. It's what makes you great. I'm going to sleep now." 

I _am_ tired, I can barely keep my eyes open and Meru is bugging me to blow out the candle.

Anyway, when I stood up, Rose grabbed my hand for a moment. "Thanks."

I think that might have been one of the greatest gifts I've been given.


End file.
